Chapter 1

"Get your ass up, Katy! You're going to be late for your first day of school! Don’t make me come up there!" my father yelled from downstairs

When I heard my father’s voice, my eyes immediately snapped open. I jumped out of bed and ran around frantically, trying to get dressed and ready before my father got angry. Or should I say angrier. My body was in so much pain and I walked with a slight limp as I searched for some jeans and one of my shirts. I went up to my mirror and took off my pajama top. My back was full of scars from the whip my father had been using for the last four years. I glanced at the clock and knew that I was going to be late. Again. Once I was done, I headed downstairs to the kitchen. When I got there, my father was reading the newspaper with the whip in his hand. I gulped quietly and walked over to the fridge, avoiding eye contact.

"Katrina, don't you dare open that fridge. Go to school! You don't have time to eat!" my father shouted angrily at me.

I flinched as he abruptly stood up and stomped over to me. Thinking he was going to hit me, I shut my eyes tight awaiting the blow. Instead of striking me he reached across and slammed the refrigerator door on my hand. I screamed in pain and tears started to fall from my eyes. I knew that if I cried I would anger him and I'd be in lot a trouble later on. So, I obeyed and ran of the house. I was never a crier a but my hand hurt like hell.

School wasn't far away from my house. It was only few blocks. When I got to school my left hand was starting to turn purple. I couldn't even move it. So, I opened my backpack and rook out a bandage. I wrapped my hand tightly so no one would notice how swollen it was. I heard the school bell ring and rushed to my locker to grab my stuff. When I had my stuff I hurried to my class and accidently bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I said without looking up and tried to ignore the throbbing pain in my hand.

"It's okay...um...Katy?" a boy said.

I remember that voice. It was my ex-best friend Evan. I was forced to push him away because of my father. I looked up at him. He hadn't changed much except for getting taller and stronger. Evan's eyes flicked over to my bandaged hand but I quickly turned away. I walked into the science room and everyone stared at me, just like every morning.

"It's so nice to join us, Ms. West! Now take a seat!" my teacher, Mrs. White, sneered.

I trudged towards my seat. Mrs. White began talking when suddenly the door opens and standing there was Lindsey Dawson with her arm linked through Evans.

"Ah, Ms. Dawson and Mr. Rogers. Please take a seat," Mrs. White said

Lindsey and Evan took their seats and Mrs. White began her lesson. Halfway through, I felt someone staring at me. I looked behind me and saw Evan watching me with questioning blue eyes. When our eyes locked, I quickly turned my attention back to Mrs. White. Then, the bell rang and I ran of class as fast I could. I couldn't face Evan.

Ever since my father started to abuse me I had to stop hanging out with all of my friends, especially my best friend, Evan. My father forced me to stop going to my guitar lessons with Evan's mom, saying that I would never make it in the music business. My friends asked me why but I wasn't allowed to tell them. After I quit, they all started to hang out with Lindsey's crew. What hurts the most is that my best friend is now dating Lindsey. If my father ever finds out that I told anybody about this he would kill me slowly and painfully. I`m scared to death.

At lunch, I sat at my usual table, alone at the back of the cafeteria. The popular kids had a lunch table smack in the middle of the cafeteria. They had a beautifully decorated table and unlimited gourmet food. Just because they were popular.

"Hey, look at the loser over there, she'll never have friends. Probably die alone in her own home" I heard Lindsey say.

I turned around and glared at them. They all laughed at me hysterically, even Evan. I got so mad I actually stomped over to them and dumped my entire lunch on Lindsey. Everyone stared at me, shocked, while my lunch dripped down Lindsey’s face and onto her designer outfit. I glared at the, and stormed out of the cafeteria. I banged my fists repeatedly on the lockers, unleashing all of my anger. It wasn’t until I stopped beating the lockers that I heard my stomach growl loudly.

‘Ugh, not again,’ I thought

‘I went to the roof top to think about Lindsey said. ‘She’s halfway right. I’m not going to die alone but rather in the hands of my abusive father. No one cares about me because I was forced to push them all away. If they only realized that it was for their own good,’ I thought. I flashed back to that awful day. The day I ruined my life forever.

/Flashback/

I was at my locker putting away my books. I saw Evan coming over to me. He was looking more handsome than ever. Today was the day that I had to tell him we couldn't be friends anymore.

"Hey, Katy" Evan said, grinning.

"Hey" I responded weakly.

"Do you want to hang out on Friday with me and the rest of the gang?" he asked.

"Evan, I have to tell you something. This is going hard for me but we can't be friends anymore" I said softly.

I expected him to start yelling at me but he just laughed.

“Come on, Katy. You can’t be serious,” he said. I noticed a hint of nervousness in his voice, as if he was trying to convince himself that it was a joke.

"I'm so sorry Evan, but this is what’s best for you and I don't want you to get hurt" I said while wiping the tears on my face.

There left him speechless. I walked away and never talked to Evan or my other friends ever again.

/Flashback Ends/

I sighed as tears threatened to fall.

‘If you only knew, Evan, if you only knew,’ I thought.

Then I heard the school bell ring, signaling the end of lunch. I got up and walked slowly to my locker to get my books. My next class was music with Mrs. Smith. She was literally the only teacher in the whole school that liked me. She had always been kind to me and acted like a mother to me. I walked into class and sat in my usual seat. Music was the only class where I ever sat near the front.

"Okay, settle down class! I have a project for you guys," said Mrs. Smith.

Everyone groaned, even me.

"Oh, stop that. It’s a fun project. You guys will create a song with one word. Now please come up here and pick your word from this bowl," said Mrs. Smith

Everyone got there turn and I was the last to go. I went to the front and put my hand in the fish bowl and drew out a small slip of paper. It read "daughter". I crumpled the paper angrily and threw it into the trash. I stomped back to my seat, furious. How in the world was I supposed to write about being a daughter?

"Okay, class you'll be performing your song at this year’s annual Montgomery High talent show. This project will be worth half of your grade. This will be due at the end of the month so you have some time to think about it," Mrs. Smith said.

Music was pretty boring today because we had to brainstorm song ideas. After 10 minutes, I got really frustrated because me and my dad kind of a have father and daughter problem. Who am I kidding? My father had the problem. He just took it out on me.

"Oh, Katy can you stay after school? I need to talk to you in private," said Mrs. Smith.

"Um, Mrs. Smith, I can't stay after. I…um… have some family stuff to do," I stuttered.

"It will only take a second, dear," Mrs. Smith replied.

If only she knew that one second would equal an hour of beating for me. Then, the bell rang and every one left the classroom leaving me and Mrs. Smith to talk alone.

"Katy, what happened to you? I've noticed that you don’t talk with your friends anymore and what happened to your hand?" Mrs. Smith asked worriedly.

"It's nothing, Mrs. Smith. I accidently burned my hand on the stove," I lied.

"If there’s a problem you can always tell me, Katy. I can help you," Mrs. Wood said. She obviously could tell I was lying. Everyone could yet no one ever bothered to try and pry anything out of me. I knew I shouldn’t have been angry with Mrs. Smith but if I didn’t keep her away she’d be in danger too.


"I said there’s nothing wrong! Why can't you understand that? Stop meddling in my life! It doesn't concern you or anybody else, " I screamed at her.

It hurt to say that to her. She was just looking after me and she was always a better parent than my own father. I thought that she would yell at me or even give me detention, but she didn’t say anything. When I turned to leave the room I saw Evan leaning against the doorframe, worry evident in his eyes. I ran out of the classroom but Evan grabbed my arm. I tried to loosen his grip but he wouldn’t budge. Evan grasped my arm and dragged me to the roof. He locked the small door leading out there and faced me.

"Katy, what's happening to you? Please tell me so I can help you," Evan pleaded, walking towards me.

"There’s nothing to talk about! Didn't I tell you to stay away from me!" I screamed at him and pushed him away.

"Why do you want you stay away from me? Is it something I did? I thought were you my best friend and I thought we were supposed to tell each other everything!" he yelled at me. Tears stung in my eyes and I ran off the rooftop away from Evan.

"You, didn't do anything Evan. I just don't want you and the others to get hurt. It's my problem and yours," I thought

When I reached the bottom of the stairs I sat down, completely out of breath. Thank god Evan didn`t come after me. After a few minutes, my breathing finally returned to normal. So, I headed to the hell hole I called home.


~ Evan~

I stood there on the rooftop thinking about what just happened. I was at war with myself right now. You know how in those movies you have the evil you on one shoulder and the good you on the other.

"You’ve got to let her go, Evan. She's not worth it," voice 1 said.

"She is worth it, Evan! Trust me! And don't listen to the other voice. He's a psycho. Following him is just like following your little brother. He never knows where he’s going," voice 2 said.

"I just don't know any more. Every time I ask her what's wrong she pushes me away," I thought.

"That’s why you should forget about her," voice 1 said.

"She's his best friend," voice 2 said.

"Ex-best friend," voice 1 argued.

"Evan, you’ve got to find out what’s wrong with her before it’s too late," voice 2 urged.

"I guess you're right," I thought.

"I'm always right," voice 2 replied.

"Show off,” voice 1 said.

I lost my train of thought when it started pouring rain. I sprinted back inside the school and got some dry clothes out of my locker before going home.

~Katy~
I came home and the house reeked of alcohol, like always. I saw my father passed out on the floor in the living room. I quietly tiptoed upstairs to my room trying not to make any noise and wake up the son of b**** I call a father. When I reached my room, I put my bag down and changed into a new pair of clothes. Next, I walked over to my desk, sat down, and took out a notepad from the drawer. Then, I began brainstorming again for this stupid project. What the hell do I write about? How he fucking ruined my life or lie and say that he was the perfect father to me. I have so many ideas but I couldn't choose one because most of them are topics that could get me killed.

"Ugh, this is so f*ing frustrating!" I screamed then quickly lowered my voice, hoping that my father didn't hear me.

I threw my notepad on the other side of my bedroom. Suddenly, my cell phone rang and I got off my chair to grab it.

I picked it up and said "Hello?"

No one answered.

"Hello?" I said a second time.

Still, no one in answered. I got fed up and hung up the phone. It was probably a prank caller. Since I was a legitimate loser the kids at school loved to mess with me. I went back to my desk and tried to focus on the project. A few hours later, I still had nothing. Then I heard my father yell from downstairs.

"Where the f*** are you, Katy?"

"I'm upstairs, dad!" I yelled back.

"Crap, he's awake. What the hell does he want now?" I thought.

"Well, get your f*ing ass down here!" he yelled.

I left my room and went downstairs. I saw him watching TV in his favorite chair with another beer his hand. I went up to him and he ordered me to make some food for him. I went into the kitchen and looked around to find something to cook. All I found was bacon and eggs in the fridge. I didn't know how to cook. Mom had never taught me how.

"Ah, s***!" I cursed when I accidentally cut myself slicing the bacon.

"Katy, hurry up! I'm getting hungry!" he yelled from the living room.

When I was done, I went into the living room and gave him the plate of food.

"You call this s*** food?" he screamed while throwing the plate of food on the floor.

"Dad, I tried my best," I protested

"You tried your best? This isn't your f*ing best! You’re trying to kill me!" he shouted at me.

"No, dad," I said as tears fell down my face.

I know it's weak and pathetic to cry but you would too if your own father was about to beat you. And you knew it, too.

"Why the f*** you are you crying? You're not a f*ing baby anymore. You're like your mother, f*ing useless!" he yelled and slapped me in the face hard.

I just cried harder. All of a sudden, he kicked me in the stomach, hard, causing me to cough up blood. He forcefully grabbed my hair and I screamed in pain. He dragged to where the plate of food was.

"Eat it!" he screamed forcing the food down my throat.

He let go of my hair and he went to the phone to order some take out.

"When I come back, you’d better be done," he hissed

When he came back I somehow managed to kick him in his stomach and ran out of the house as fast as I could.

"Katy, if you come back here you’re gonna get it! Mark my words!" he shouted.

I ran to the park near my house. I ran as fast as I could but on the way there, I tripped. I struggled to sit up and felt blood trickling down my leg where I had skinned my knee. I left the injury alone and went over to the swings where I usually do my best thinking.

Then, I heard someone say "Katy?"

I looked up saw Evan standing next to me. He had changed out of his clothes from school.

“Probably because it rained earlier,” I thought.

I looked away and rested my eyes on a lone flower on the ground then a bird in a tree, looking anywhere but him.

"Evan, please don't start," I pleaded.

I got off of the swings to leave but he grabbed my hand. I winced in pain as his hand squeezed my swollen one.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," I answered.

"What happened to your cheek?" he asked worriedly as he noticed the hand print on my cheek.

"Nothing," I repeated.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Katy" he replied angrily.

I didn't make eye contact with him. I was too scared to. Even when I pushed him away Evan was still my best friend and he could see right through me.

"Shouldn't you be with Lindsey?" I said bitterly, changing the subject.

He just ignored my question.

"Katy listen, I want to help you. I’m here for you. Why won't you let help you? Katy, I would do anything for you. I'm your best friend," he pleaded as he pulled me into a hug.

"I have no friends," I mumbled but somehow he heard.

"Yes, you do Katy. We’re all worried sick about you!" he exclaimed.

That’s where I drew the line. He knew that by bringing everyone else into this he’s get me to crack. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, let him or anyone else I cared about get hurt. I just wish I could tell them that I was doing this for them. I had to get rid of him so I said the only thing I could think of.

"I HATE YOU, EVAN ROGERS!" I yelled at him.

He was speechless. I really needed to say that to finally get him off my back. I wasn’t true, not at all, but I kept telling myself that it was.

"Katy, you don't mean that?" he said as hurt filled his eyes.

"I mean it, Rogers," I hissed.

"So, now were in last name basis?" he asked as he stood up.

"I'll say this one last time Rogers. F*** OFF!" I screamed before running back to my house.

~Evan~

Ever since Katy stopped being friends with us, she's been acting weird. She became so distant. I'm going to find out what's going on with her, whether she likes it or not.

~Katy~

When I reached my house, I quietly opened the door and snuck into the house. It was dark, so he must been either asleep or passed out drunk. I sighed relieved but when I was about to go up the stairs my father appeared in the doorframe of the living room

"Ah, your home," he said as he flicked on the lights and grinned creepily.

I knew that I was going to be hit for my actions, earlier. Or even worse and he'll bring out the whip again. My heart was beating so fast and my hands were starting to sweat.

"I was waiting for you, darling. Where did you go? "he asked as he came up to me and started stroking my cheek.

I just stood there, frozen. He unexpectedly grabbed my arm with the smashed hand and twisted it. I cried out in agony.

"Dad, please stop!" I begged.

He didn't listen and instead kept twisting it until I heard a loud crack. I screamed the loudest scream I ever have in my entire life. After he twisted my arm he pushed me to the ground on the living room floor.

He just laughed and said "That's what you get, b****, for running away!"

“My dad just fucking broke my arm," I thought as I attempted to move it.

He came up to me kicked me over and over again. All of a sudden, there was a knock at the door.

"Open up! This is the police!" the person said.

My father panicked and quickly went to the kitchen. When he came back he looked clean and freshened up.

"You better keep quiet, you b****, or else," he hissed and kicked me again.

I bit my lip and tried not to scream as he walked to the door. At that moment I heard the front door open.

"Sorry, for the wait officer. How may I help you?" I heard him say.

"One of the neighbors said she heard a scream from this house and called us to check it out," said the officer.

"Oh, it was my daughter. We were watching a scary movie and she can be easily frightened," he lied.

I already knew my father would end up convincing the cops to leave or at least convince them that nothing was wrong. I crawled up the stairs to my bedroom, locked the door, and crept under the covers. Suddenly, there was a loud knocking on my door.

Chapter 2

I bolted up from my bed. My heart was beating so hard I was sure whoever was at the door could hear it. On one hand it could be the police and I would be forced to lie to save my father and myself. On another hand it could be my father who would be back to finish what he started. It was a lose-lose situation! The knocking became louder and I heard muffled voices on the other side.

“My daughter’s probably asleep. She was quite scared by the movie and I sent her to bed,” I heard my father say.

“Well, we would like to speak to the girl. It’s our job to make sure that everyone in the targeted household is safe,” one of the policemen said firmly.

The knocking resumed and I had no choice but to open the door. Before I did, I made sure to wrinkle my clothes a little bit mess up my hair. I knew that if I didn’t appear tired my dad would beat me later. I cracked open the door and rubbed my eyes. One of the policemen kneeled down so he was level with me.

“Hey kid,” he said cheerfully.

“Hey,” I whispered, faking a yawn.

“Your dad told us that you two were watching a scary movie and you got scared. Is that true?” he asked.

I hesitantly glanced at my father. He had a smile on his face but I his eyes were dark and threatening, daring me to tell the truth. I gulped and stared at the ground.

“Y-yeah, my dad and I were watching a movie he bought and I-I got…..scared,” I whispered the last word so quietly I wasn’t even sure they’d heard it.

“See? The girl was just a little frightened. Well, you gentleman should be getting home,” my father said, ushering the policeman downstairs.

As he rambled nonsense to them my father turned back to me and glared. I glared right back and stomped back into my room. I hated how my father constantly referred to me as ‘the girl’ or ‘her’ or ‘the child’.

He looks at me like I’m a thing, an animal. Does he have to let everyone else call me that too? I went back into my room but instead of closing the door I slammed it shut, imagining that it was my father’s face. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Why doesn’t she just leave?” Well, that’s where confusion kicks in. I would love to leave, to be free from my abusive father and a home that’s not, but where would I go? Evan’s the only one who’s shown any interest in me leaving. Plus, after I’ve completely ignored him for the past two years and what I said in the park I doubt he’d take me in. The other issue is, no matter what my father does to me or how much he hurts me or insults or ruins my only living days, I still love him. I mean he’s my dad, the only one I’ve got.

I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a long, golden chain from a hidden drawer. The necklace was solid gold with a trouble-clef and base-clef on the end. They were positioned so that they formed a heart and in the middle was a tiny stone, the color of the twilight sky. I loved this necklace because it was the only thing I have to remember my mother. When she left my dad threw every memory of her away, including the things she gave me. I’d managed to hide the necklace before he started searching my room and I’ve been keeping there ever since. I’m able to sneak out of the house with it but after school and on weekends I never take it out.

I rubbed my thumb across the worn jewel as I thought about how much better life used to be. When, I first I got this necklace it almost reached past my waist. I laughed softly as an image of a five-year old me with a huge necklace draped over my neck popped into my head. I used to love the way the smooth, blueberry tinted gem stood out proudly against the golden surface. It reminded me of Evan, how he was always so friendly but still separated himself from the world.

‘I can’t believe my dad made me leave my friends. Just because mom abandoned him doesn’t mean he can force me to abandon the people that are important to me, especially Evan. I mean he’s sweet, caring, kind, funny, cute, and- WAIT! Did I just call my former best friend cute?! Ugh.’

I was shaken out of my thoughts by a sharp knocking on the door.

’Knocking? Yeah, right. More like trying to break my bedroom door,’ I thought as I walked over to the crazy person assaulting my door.

No doubt it was my father. I jerked open the door, expecting to meet the stone cold glare of my dad. Instead, I was met with bright, sky blue eyes and a warm smile. Evan. Why does he keep popping up everywhere! Doesn’t he know that I’m trying to protect him? Oh, that’s right, he doesn’t.

“Katy? Hello? Katy!” Evan yelled, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I narrowed my eyes and glared at him. Well, as best I could anyway considering I had a black eye that was turning three shades of purple. God, even blinking hurt!

“Rogers, I told you to leave me alone! What part of that don’t you understand?” I hissed all while praying to God that my father didn’t hear.

I had no idea if he’d gone out after the cops left or if he just went back to his room.

“How did you get in here anyway, you asshole?” I asked a little harsher than necessary.

Evan flinched back slightly before straitening. He looked at me with so much hurt that I had to look away. My gaze transferred to the ground and it was then that I saw his shoes. His fancy green and blue Adidas were scuffed and dirty. I noticed a piece of dark green on the laces. It looked like the leaves from the bushes we had outside.

‘The window!’ I thought.

“Yeah, it was the only way I could get in”

I jumped as Evan’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts then blushed, realizing that I’d spoken my thoughts out loud. I quickly composed myself and resumed glaring at him.

“Evan, what you need to leave,” I said, trying hard to keep from screaming. “Why don’t you see that I don’t want you around? You’re pathetic and not worth my time.”

~Evan~
“You’re pathetic and not worth my time!”

That one really stung. I don’t get why she keeps acting like she doesn’t want help. We’re best friends or at least we were until she left us. I still don’t get why. Doesn’t she get I’m trying to help her? I recovered from my shock and glared at the brunette in front of me.

‘Well, not at her. More at her cheek or hair because every time I tried to glare at her I got lost in her big, gray eyes and her beautiful hair and-SNAP OUT OF IT, EVAN! You have a girlfriend!’

“Katy, why won’t you let me in? Best friends forever! That’s what you said to me four years ago!” I screamed.

“Yeah, I did! News flash, Evan! That was four years ago!” she yelled back.

“What happened to never keeping secrets? You broke the promise we made! Do you know what you’ve done to us?” I shouted, clenching my fist. It took all of my self control not to punch a hole in the wall.

“Oh, I get it! It’s all about you isn’t it! You can’t just barge in here demanding answers! You don’t even know what I’ve been through!” Katy screamed, fire blazing in her eyes.

“I would if you’d just tell me!” I yelled.

“Get out, Evan,” she said.

I stepped back, startled by her cold tone. When she saw I wasn’t moving Katy grabbed my arm and yanked me down the stairs, pushing me out the front door,

“Just stay away. Don’t come back or I swear I’ll kill you,” she hissed and slammed the door in my face.

I stood there, stunned, watching her stomp back upstairs through the window. I wondered if I should go back in and try to talk to her. After a moment, I decided against it. She did threaten me after all. I angrily kicked the small pebbles littering the sidewalk. I couldn’t take much more of this. I always worried about Katy, even when we were friends. I hated it when she got hurt and would beat up anyone who made her cry. She was my first friend when I moved to Denver. I knew something was going on with her, she knew it too. And I won’t rest until I found out why she changed.

~Katy~
I ran back up to my room in tears, for like, the third time today. I shut and locked my door before sliding down to the floor. I buried my face in my knees and cried for about thirty seconds. I never cried long, just when I needed to. The words I said to Evan were swirling through my head and I couldn’t help hating myself for it.

“Go away! I hate you, Evan Rogers! Leave me alone! You’re pathetic and not worth my time!’

I hated saying those things to Evan and I hated Evan. Well, not really. I don’t know. I just don’t get why he keeps coming back to me. He still tries to be my friend no matter how horrible I treat him.

“You’re pathetic and not worth my time,” I whispered to myself. “I can’t believe I said that.”

And I couldn’t. Evan is one of the greatest people in the world. He’s worth everyone’s time. I’m the one who’s pathetic. I’m the one who’s not worth anyone’s time, especially Evan’s.