The clock said 3:07, “OK I have to now” I said to myself, I got into bed and shut my eyes. I tossed and turned for about a half hour before just giving up and getting out of bed. The clock said 3:09, “Arrgh!” I exclaimed. The wind caressed my curtains softly as I paced about my room wondering what to do with my self. My job interview at the local grocery store was worrying me because it was tomorrow morning; actually this morning. I know working at a grocery store isn’t a dream job, but to be perfectly happy, that’s all I wanted. I wanted to be able to support myself rather than having to live with my mother. I went onto the balcony and felt the crisp Autumn air down on my cheeks. The sensation snapped me even more awake. Hearing the waves of the sea rustle in my ear. With nothing to do, I put on my sneakers and went outside onto the path that led straight to the beach. I walked out, listening to the evening hush, hearing the leaves whisper, there soft crunches filling the night. The streetlights lit up the trees displaying the fantastic colors of Autumn all around me, at least I didn’t feel dead anymore. One thing about being up in the middle of the night that I’d gotten used to was that feeling in your gut when you’re not really hungry but your stomach feels weighted. It made me feel dead and I loathed that feeling, but unfortunately, I’d gotten used to it. Nature tended to dampen the feeling for a bit.
I got to the end of the path and saw the ocean. It was dressed in a venetian blue, decorated by the nearby ruby leaved redwood tree, with velvet climbing ivy ascending each branch. The sky was surprisingly bright for the time, a deep mahogany shade, I’d never leave this place if I could. During the day its filled with bustling people. At night when no one's around, it’s perfect. The sea, to this day, fills me with nostalgia. It reminds me of my deceased dad, who loved to sail. He’d always go out and catch a few fish and that’d be what we had for dinner, at least, until he passed away six years ago. Thinking about it made me depressed. I walked on the gargantuan rocks that piled on the beach, feeling the silk embrace of the night. Pondering about how tomorrow would go, who knows? Maybe I get the job, I move out, and have a great life! For once I was feeling optimistic. A skip bestowed itself into my step as I hurried home.
My eyes were now drooping; it was 4:12. “Hmm,” I said to myself, “I can probably catch a few winks before the interview.” I laid on my bed and went straight to sleep.
I awoke excited. I put on my one good shirt that although was simply a plain white, at least it didn’t have any stains on it. I sprayed a fancy cologne I found in the bathroom, I think it was for women, but I doubt people would notice. I checked my phone and the time was… 10:43. “Goddamnit!” I exclaimed. My mother came rushing in.
“Whats the matter Jack?” She asked kindly.
“Nothing, I’m just dandy…” I said with a snark. She huffed and left the room without another word. Well this sucks. I thought to myself as I kicked my bedpost. I took off the shirt and put on my regular clothes then left the house. I went down to the seaport. A lobstermen was hollering at some boys playing by his cages. I walked briskly passed them and went into the local forest.
I often enjoyed being in the woods, it soothed my anger easily. I saw the enormous trees swaying in the breeze 10 feet above my head. Verdurous sprouts were everywhere on the ground, as well as a fairy circle consisting of mushrooms. My puerile mind was fascinated as always. The further I walked in, the more flabbergasted by beauty I was. Seeing the oaken branches clash against one another in an indefinite loop, the way the fauna of the forest carry themselves, simply too wonderful for words. Thinking about all this made me realize, perhaps I came off as unfledged to my mother. She’d been more soft spoken every since… Well… you know. So I think I should be kinder to her. I walked back the raw path of the forest, markings on the trees guiding me back into town.I then browsed local businesses in hopes for a job application, I’d take anything but fast food, I can’t stand the smell. It was 5:00 by the time I was done, so I headed home.
Once I arrived I apologized to my mother and she was even nice enough to make me dinner. I spent the rest of the evening reading until bed. However, as always, I couldn’t sleep. I once again gave up on sleeping, at least this time, I had nothing to get up for. Right, I had nothing to get up for. I sighed and got out of bed. I slunk down the stairs and into the kitchen for a late night snack of toast. After that I was going to walk back upstairs and try going to bed again, but the cellar door caught my eye. It’d been awhile since I had been down there, heck the last time was with my dad. I unlocked the door and flicked the light switch, nothing. I brought out a flashlight and went down, hearing nothing but my own foot steps. I moved the light on all sorts of old boxes when I saw something I thought was lost, why, it was my old keyboard! The one my dad got me! I snagged it and went upstairs.
I plugged the keyboard into a spare outlet and felt the keys on my fingers. I switched it on and played a few notes, and by notes I mean I destroyed my eardrums because I remembered the last time I turned it off (Six years ago) I’d left the volume on 100. Amazed that my mother wasn’t in my room trying to kill me or that a neighbor hadn’t issued a noise complaint, I turned down the volume and kept hitting notes. The notes were now whispers, I tried to play a few of the songs I remembered, but with no avail. My hands were now too weak to play the songs I enjoyed. So for awhile, I practiced childrens music. Now I don’t mean to brag but not any 22 year old can play Mary Had a Little Lamb like yours truly. I played throughout the night and didn’t stop until it was 3 AM and my eyes were finally starting to feel droopy. I closed my curtains and went to bed with the visions of ponderosa and melodies floating through my mind.
All the next day I played the keyboard. I went on the internet and found some instructional videos. I was starting to get my groove back. I was having so much fun actually doing something productive for once. In addition, I became confident enough in my skill that I add it to my resume for the next few job applications I submitted I! I was enthralled to be good at something. I played for the next few days and learned many classical songs as well as some from the radio. I realized I was learning so much off of the internet, most of this talent was taught to me by instructors when I was younger but the only reason it was progressing now was because I was online. Just then an idea hit me like a hat in a hurricane.
“I think it’s time I gave something back.” I said to myself.
Over the next week I wrote my own song. From the time when I woke up to when I could no longer stay awake,  I practiced. I jotted down notes of music, beats in my head, and synths I could conjure. It was surprisingly difficult. I had played so much music before, but I never even had the thought of writing my own. At the end of the week I had a two minute song of just some simple chords and patterns. I then recorded it on my desktop and turned it into an MP3 file. I listened to it about a hundred times, re-recording it each time to make slight tweaks. Eventually I was done with the recording and made the final edit of the MP3. By done, I mean I didn’t completely hate it. I found a website where random people share personal songs. The website seemed pretty cool in that it had a widget to record the number of people who have listened to your song. Hesitating a little, I uploaded the MP3 file and titled it, “Jacks First Song.” Not a very creative title I know, but writing the song was hard enough.
It was now almost 3 in the afternoon. I went out, originally to get coffee, but then something caught my eye. The towns elementary school was hiring;they were looking for janitors. Even though I had never held a mop in my life,  I went into the building and filled out a form. It was all pretty easy except for the question, Why do you want to be a janitor?
“Gee I don’t know, I’ve always had a passion for cleaning things.” I muttered under my breath. I wrote that I loved children and how this could be a fun way to work with them. I gave the form to a nice receptionist and went out. The rest of the day went by quickly, nothing too eventful, just going out for walks and eating. I didn’t practice the piano; after creating the song, I thought it’d be good to take a break.
A few days passed and I was now practicing away. While in the midst of practice I heard the house phone ring, followed by my mom yelling, “Jack! Its for you!”
“Coming!” I yelled back down the stairs, wondering who it could be. I didn’t really have alotta friends, my two buddies moved away. I went down to the kitchen where our phone was and took the phone from my mother.
“Yes this is Jack Greenwood.” I said to the phone.
“Hello Mr. Greenwood. We saw your forum for the job and would love to have you stop by for an interview.” Said a female voice.
I was stunned, “Ok… When?” I asked cautiously, making sure this was real.
“11 in the morning tomorrow would be great.” She replied back.
‘Alright.” I said “see you then.” I hung up the phone while doing a celebratory dance and kissing my mother on the forehead. 11 in the morning was perfect, this way, I could ensure that I wouldn’t oversleep!
I practiced the piano for another 2 hours before going to bed. Sleeping wasn’t so bad as the norm. I woke up a few times but was able to go back to sleep. I dreamed of amazing things. In my dream I saw a star being formed, then vanishing. I witnessed a few lighting bugs dancing around me, circling my head, right before I woke up. My eyes went wide awake. I stared blankly at the ceiling for a moment before getting out of bed. The clock read 10 AM.
“Perfect!” I laughed to myself. I got dressed then ate breakfast by myself, I guess mom was out. I left the house with a smile. The sky was a lovely azure shade with puffy white clouds that were so funny shaped they might be from Dr. Seuss himself! I walked until I got to the school and went straight into the office where I was supposed to wait. As soon as I sat down they called my name. A cold bead of sweat rolled down my neck as I went into a turquoise painted room. There was absolutely nothing but a desk and a very comfy looking chair in front of it as well as a window on one side of the room. In the desk sat a chubby bald man.
“And who are you?” He said in a gruff voice.
“I’m… I’m Jack Greenwood, I’m here for an interview…” I said nervously.
“Ohhh thats right.” He said with a huff. “Well, sit.” I sat down quickly.
“Why do you want to be a janitor? Where have you worked? Whats your favorite mop to use while cleaning? Are you married? Should I like you? If so give me seven reasons and no more.”
“I, um, I don’t… know?” I replied mortified. The man glared relentlessly at me. Then, a smile broke out onto his face.
“I’m just messing with you! Geez lighten up!” The man laughed at me. “My names Mr. Chaffin and I’m principle here, I have to put on a tough act for the young ones!”
Now, in all of my life, I don’t think I’ve ever been more confused.
“So, um, what now?” I asked.
“Now you get to work! You seem nice enough, and none else really wants the job.”
“Thank you! I was so nervous haha!” I said delightedly. We shook hands and I got my first schedule which started tomorrow. I walked on home happier than ever.
As soon as I got home I hugged my mother and told her the news. I don’t think shes been that happy in a while. I went upstairs and checked out how my song was doing. My jaw dropped. over 20,000 views. I was somewhat flabbergasted. I was amazed, in such a short time it had become much bigger than I thought. I spent about 25 minutes looking blankly at the number of hits on the screen and every few minutes I’d hit the refresh button to watch two or three more views add onto the screen. I decided that if this song was such a success, I should start another. I spent the rest of the night writing down notes and sheets of music. I realized to make an even better song, I should use more than just piano. I thought this time, I should add on a basic drum track and maybe some vocals. I decided once I started working I should buy an electronic drum pad and a mic for recording. I wrote the piano notes down then ate dinner, afterwards I went straight back to writing them. I fell asleep really easily that night, I think it was because I was feeling good and for once wasn’t stressed.
Over the course of two months, I started sleeping better. I finished the song I was working on and it was another hit, reaching over 100,000 views online. The important thing is that I found something that I enjoyed doing, not that I was getting popular. Working as a janitor was amazing. I know its not really a dream job but who cares when you have fun while doing it? Not me anyways. My mother's been much happier as well, I think its not just because that I’ve found work but because I’ve been happy doing it and thus, I‘ve been treating her better. I hope to find an apartment soon. I’m sure mom will get lonely but we’ll both be just fine. Looking at myself in the mirror is somewhat scary but also exciting. I no longer see a sleep depriven sad sack, I see a cheery man, with a job. I’m now feeling so much better with myself and I’m now not just appreciating the things around me, but also the aspect that I am part of those things, and those things are beautiful.