On the 10th of May, Adam would turn 13.  13 was supposed to be the most important birthday in a young Jewish boy’s life. This is the birthday that he had been antiapating since before he could walk. On his 13th birthday, Adam would be bar-mitzvahed, turning him from a boy to a man. Adam should  have been excited for this special time in his life but, interestingly enough, he found himself quite anxious about it.

Not about the service, or about speaking hebrew in front of all of his loved ones. Or about the party with blaring music and a catered meal. He was used to those parts by now since he had been to what felt like one hundred bar/bat mitzvahs over the years.

Adam was the most anxious about the guest list that he was now discussing with his mother in their kitchen.

“ Adam, I just don’t understand. You’ve been so excited for this day for years. Why now are you having second thoughts about inviting your friends?” his mother protested

“ I don’t know mom okay?” he snapped back “ maybe I just want to have a smaller party. Aunt Lily and Uncle Jim are flying all the way in from California. Maybe I shouldn’t invite my friends so I can have more time to spend with them”

“ Oh don’t be silly! Aunt Lily and Uncle Jim don’t mind. They understand that you want to be with your friends on your special day.”

   “I don’t know mom. Just let me think about it. Okay?” Adam said with an undertone of annoyance in his voice.

“ Okay honey. Just please let me know by Friday so we can start sending out invitations”

Adam didn’t really know why he was so anxious about inviting his friends. Maybe it was because he thought his friends might not understand. He started visualizing his friends sitting in the back row of the temple, snickering and giggle as any gaggle of 12 and 13 year old kids would be in a religious service. The thought of this made Adams heart drop.

Adam realized that his friends might not even know he was jewish or what a bat mitzvah even was. It wasn’t like there was more than one jewish family in the small town of Brownsville Pennsylvania. Adams mother liked to say they were the “odd Jews out” in town.

Adam was sure that his friend knew what Judaism was. They had learned about the Holocaust in social studies. But did they really understand what it meant to Adam and his family to be Jewish? Probably not.

It was also the little things that Adams friends would say. Probably without really thinking or meaning any harm, but still.

He remembered a conversation that had happened a few week ago in their middle school cafeteria.

Colin had handed Patrick the bag of potato chips that they had decided they were going to share.

“Hey!” Patrick shouted. “ Colin! You jewed me out of all the chips! These are just crumbs.”  He had said, anger piercing his voice.

At the time, Adam hadn’t really thought much of it, but, looking back at the memory made his throat close up.

He thought about what they might say when he hands them the invitation. He imagined faces of disgusted and confusion. Not matching the excited feelings Adam had about his special day.  This image made Adam want to crawl into a hole a die.

But then, he remembered how much fun his brother Jacob looked like he was having with all of his friends at his bat mitzvah. Adam really wanted that. But was it worth the possible humiliation?

That night, lying in bed thinking about how fun his bat mitzvah could be, Adam decided that he was just going to do it. He would mention it to his friends and see how they reacted before he formally invited them. This seemed like a perfect plan to Adam.

The next day was Thursday. Adam woke up at 8 am as normal. When he got to school, he walked up to Colin, Patrick and Brad as he would any other day.

“Hey what’s up Adam?” said Patrick

“Yo Adam, look at this picture that I took of Colin the other day it’s so funny” said Brad

“Hey guys” Adam said. “ I have to ask you guys a question”

“Sure what it is?” said Colin

Adams heart rate sped up.

“ Would you like to come to my bat mitzvah in May?”

“ Oh sick. Yeah man of course!” said Patrick.

“Yes! My sister went to one last year and she said it was so fun” said Colin.

“Of course I would” said Brad enthusiastically.

“Oh ok good. I’ll give you guys the invitations tomorrow” Adam said with a smile, relief washing over his whole body.

Being the odd Jew out didn’t make him too odd for his friends and he was grateful for that.