It was my first game ever and my dad was the coach. I was pitching and I struck a girl out at the plate. “Nice, Vanna. Now your getting the hang of it.” Dad yelled from the dugout. I remember all the memories of my dad helping me learn how to bat for the first time, and him taking my arms and holding the bat swinging. My whole childhood was based on the sport softball. Whenever I got my release point down, I was flying through, striking batters out.

   In rookie league, rules were different. There was no stealing, no sliding, and so much more. If you had trouble pitching, your coach would come in and pitch for you. Whenever I was having trouble, I would get so mad because I just wanted to finish the inning myself. Not somebody else to finish it for you.

      Right after rookie league was ending for me, it was time to step up.  I was going to play on a select team and would have a different coach that wasn’t my dad. Tryouts were tough.  Mom and Dad were in the stands, watching me. Dad was pretty quiet, and I was about to go to the machine-throwing station. We got three balls for bunting, and then we had three for swinging away. The first ball I missed. It was so fast; I could barely see the ball. The second ball I was ready for bunting. But then I tried to put my bat out in front, but the ball went above. I was starting to get really frustrated with myself. Come on. My last chance to bunt, I barely missed it. Phew. At least I got one bunt. Then the coach told me, “swing away.”  I missed the first ball. Swing earlier. The second time I had a little contact, but it was a foul. My last ball for batting I needed to hit this ball. Eye on it. I made sure my eyes followed the ball, and then the ball was hit. The contact was good, so it hit the good part on my bat. I still felt like I did really bad.

After tryouts was finished that day the coaches called the parents to talk along with us kids. “Nice job to everybody. We could see the hard work that was going on during tryouts, so all of you did a really good job. Even if you don’t get a call from us tonight, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you haven’t made the team. I wish all of you guys good luck, and let’s bring it in.”

“ 1...2… 3… Softball!” I went by mom and dad. They looked proud of me, but I felt like a did horrible. Mom hugged me.

“You did really good out there, honey!” She smiled at me.

“Yes, Savannah. You did amazing.” Dad told me. Even if I didn’t feel like I did well, the comfort of my parents made me feel good.

The night of the rookie league tryouts I was in my bedroom, and I was thinking. I really hope that I make a team. I heard people coming up the stairs. It was Mom and Dad. They were going to talk to me. Did they get a call?

“Hey, Vanna.” Mom said. I couldn’t tell based off of her face if she was happy/sad. She came right next to me on the bed. “I wanted to tell you that.. You made the team!” She looked at me joyfully. I hugged her as tight as I possibly could be, and then dad was around the corner, with a sneered smile. I was so happy at that moment, and I never knew that I was going to actually make the team.

 Shortly after, mom needed to go to the grocery store to get a few things. It was more than an hour had passed. Dad was worrying so much, along with me. We were both sending a million texts and calls; none of them were being answered. I was hovered behind the stairs, and I was watching dad if anybody was going to pick up. I felt like I was going to cry, and then there was a sudden knock on the door. Dad rushed to the door, since he probably felt like he couldn’t wait much longer. Lights were flashing through the front window, and there were cops outside of our house. Two cops showed up at the door as dad opened it.

“Mr. Destro?”

“Yes?” The sound in dad's voice was desperate.

“Your wife, Mrs. Destro, died in a car crash.” Dad went on his knees, and started quiveling. It was the worst I’ve seen dad ever before. Then I ran into my room, and slowly closed the door to make sure they didn’t know I was watching. My face was stuffed in the mattress for the rest of that night.

  A month had passed since mom passed away, and I was playing a softball game on a friday night. We were getting killed by a team. I was pitching, and the bases were loaded. I wasn’t doing well, and I really wanted the inning to be over. Nonstop pitching balls after balls, the ref would be super picky and was calling obvious strikes, balls. Points were being scored one after another, and you could tell my arm was tired; too many pitches. At that moment, I saw dad with beer. He had bought some from concessions. At this game they allowed beer, as long as it was under control. But there was a sign right next to the concessions, that said: CAUTION. Alcohol is allowed and served, however, it needs to be under control.

    Dad had beer, but he was fine. As long as he was quiet, that was perfectly fine for me. I went on pitching, and I was pitching strikes after strikes.

The ump made a really close call when it was full count.

“Ball four. Take your base.” The ump said. Dang it. Dad still was quiet. I thought he was going to be out of control, but he wasn’t. He was not overdoing the amount of alcohol that he drank, because he only bought one.

The game on friday night was the first sign of Dad drinking. Before that when mom was alive, he was totally fine. Every game getting closer to the state tournament, dad was developing into an alcoholic. I was too scared to tell him about my feelings, because I felt like he was going to break out and bark at me. I kept it to myself for a long time.

One week before the end of year tournament

I have to talk to somebody about dad. It was bugging me so badly, getting reminded a lot about dad drinking alcohol so often.

Dad had to take me to practice at five o'clock, and I started getting ready for softball.

“Hurry up. We have to go!” Dad told me. I was in the bathroom putting my hair up.

“I know, dad. I’m getting ready right now as you can see.”

Dad took me to practice, and I was getting out of the car. I saw my softball

Maddie, my catcher. It was just us and nobody had been here yet. I put my stuff in the dugout, and warmed up with her. Me and Maddie were in the field, far away from anybody. I was going to talk to her.

“Are you going to be ready for next weekend? Ready to kick some butt?” Maddie said to me.

“Of course I am.” I laughed. I was about to change the topic. This was my chance because nobody else was here except Coach by the dugout, me and Maddie.

“So.. I need to tell you something.” I said.

“What is it?” She was super curious. It was really hard for me to say, and I could feel myself developing tears. I tried to hold them in.

“M-my mom died two weeks ago.” Then I talked about dad. “My dad has also started to drink a lot.”

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” Maddie said. We hugged. I let out a few tears, dribbling from my face.

“No. I can’t cry.” I said.

“I feel horrible for you.” She said. I started to see a car pull up, and it was coach. I quickly took off my face mask, and wiped my face. I took a deep breath, and tried to make myself feel better.

“Anyways. Are you excited for state?” She was trying to cheer me up.

“Of course I am.” I smiled at her. Then I was going to tell coach about talking to him. I told Maddie I’d needed water and I’d be right back. As I was running over, Coach was getting the buckets of softballs out of his trunk.

“Hello, Savannah! How are you?”

“Good. I need some water.” Then I needed to get to the main point. “And also, I need to talk to you after practice if that’s ok.”

“Yea! Sure.” I headed back into the field with Maddie. More cars were pulling up, and we went on.

The whole practice went well, and we did a lot of drills. I also did a little bit of pitching; practicing pitching on people so I could work on fastballs and change ups.

When it started to get towards the end of practice, coach called us in.

“Everybody, bring it in!” He called. We all walked.

“Hustle!” We laughed, and then started running or whatever you call it: fast walking.

“Nice job ladies. As you may know, our state tournament is coming up. We can do well if we all put in our best game and use each other to bring each other up.” Then he dismissed us, and girls started leaving for their ride. I said bye to Maddie before she left, and went to coach.

“Maddie. I want you to practice pitching at home and making sure your getting your arm ready. Make sure you ice it frequently.”

“Okay. I will.” I said.

“So, we can talk now. What perhaps is this about?” He asked me. Right to the point.

“So. You don’t know this, but my mom passed away two weeks ago. She died in a car.. crash.” I stopped, and then hesitated.

“I am so sorry Maddie. If you need any support from me I can help you.”

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you. My dad has lately at games for these past weeks drinking beer. He is starting to get worse, and it’s really embarrassing.” I said, frustrated.

“He probably has started mainly because of your mom. He most likely missed her a lot, but isn’t taking responsibility for his actions. You should have a talk with him, as soon as possible.” I told him thanks for talking, and then Dad was pulling up. I said goodbye and got in the car.

“Sorry I am late.” He said.

“It’s fine.” I said. I was glad that he was late, since I talked to Coach Mcvay.

The Day of the Tournament

We had to get up at six am. I needed a good amount of time to get ready, so I had maybe like a half hour before we had to leave.  It was way too early but our first game was at eight o clock, so we had to arrive at seven fifteen. The tournament was in Curryville, Pa. Since it was late summer, the morning’s were the coolest parts of the day, so it was good that we could squeeze in a couple games before it got really hot.

By the time we arrived, dad dropped me off so he would go park the car.

“Good luck.” Dad said.

We were warming up, and I was playing catch with Maddie, the catcher on my team. We are pretty close since we have extra practices outside of normal practices for pitcher and catcher practice.

“Are you READY?” Maddie was pumped up at seven thirty in the morning. I was still sleepy because it’s the morning and I’m never up on my own this early in the morning.

“Sure I am.” I said, totally non enthusiastic.

“Say you are ready louder!”

“I’m ready.”

“Louder.”

“IM READY!” I said so Maddie would quit bugging me. Just typical energetic Maddie. Once we were warmed up, Coach Mcvay called us over to warm up for pitching. I was usually the starting pitcher and then the other pitchers on my team were Emma and Ava. They were fast pitchers, but not as accurate. I was both fast and accurate, but that was because I take the time outside of practice and games and practice on my own to improve.

The first game we won 6-3. Then the second game we also won 8-5. Dad wasn’t too bad, but that was mainly because he didn’t have beer yet. It was about to be the semifinals before the championship, at five o'clock.

It was ten minutes before the game started so we had to grab all of our stuff. We were situated with our stuff in the dugout, and then coach called the captains.

“How about Faith, Emma, and Savannah be the captains.” I walked over with Faith and Emma onto the field, and we introduce ourselves. This is what we did every game, because that’s just how it works. We had to do the coin flip. Tails.

“Do tails.” I whisper to Faith. Emma agreed and so we did. It was tails. Yes!

“We will bat first.” I said. If we won that was always the first choice so we can take advantage of an inning.

Coach had a pep talk with us before we started.

“Okay girls. I know it’s really early in the morning, but we need to wake up and play our best game. Let’s get the bat swinging and then we can crush this team. We can win with our fast team, and if we can get good hits, we can take advantage of this game. Let’s go.” He put his fist in the middle, and so did everybody else.

“One, two, three, Raiders!” We all said. I was towards the middle of the lineup; I’m a pitcher so I don’t work on hitting as much. After coach was done talking, we got situated into the game.

“Up on the fence!” Coach said as he walked over to the third base side. Maddie's dad was the first base coach, so he would help out at practice. Our uniforms were black and blue, and then the other teams were orange and white. We had striped socks, with black shoes. Maddie was up to bat, and she is a really good hitter.

“Let’s go Maddieee!!!” We were all chanting. That’s one thing I’m glad that I have on this team, we are loud. It’s good to have a loud team because then you have more cheering and when you have cheering it makes it a whole lot better. Whack! Maddie hit the ball far into the outfield, it traveled through the green grass all the way to the fence. Cheering from the fans were roaring as Maddie ran her heart out on the bases. The first base coach sent her to second, and she slid fast before the second basemen could tag her.

“Woooooo!” We all cheered.

“Yess Maddie!”

“Nice hit!”

Our team was really supportive of each other, and that was a good thing because we were all getting used to playing with each other. After a couple more batters went, they also got good hits. Then we were up by three. The coach from the opposing team made the hand signal for time out.

“Trouble, trouble, raiders causin troubleee!” Our team said. I put on my helmet and my batting gloves, ready to go. Sophia got a simple hit to shortstop, and got out at first. That's ok, we only have one out. I ran to the other side, and practiced swinging. 1.. 2.. Swing. We always had to time our swinging so then we had our timing down. I could tell that the pitcher was getting a little frustrated because of her facial expressions.

Ella got a walk, and it was finally my time to bat. Eye on the ball.

“Let’s go A!” Dad yelled. I could already tell that his brain was starting to get out of his hands.

“Come on Savannah!”

“Let’s go Savannah!”

I took a deep breath, and relaxed my grip on the bat. I put most of my weight on my back leg, prepared for the ball to come. I saw her range of motion starting, and then the ball releasing. 1..2..Swing. I didn’t swing.

“Strrrike!” The ump called. Dad didn’t say anything, but I could imagine the expression on his face. He probably frowned, because he was counting on me.

The second time I paid attention to the range of motion. 1..2..Swing. I swung this time. Dang it.

“Strrrike!” The ump said once again. You got this. Chin down. The ball came for the third time, and I was ready for it to be a strike if it was going to be. WHAM. The contact of my bat with the ball was the perfect spot on the bat, the barrel. I didn’t look at the ball no matter how far it went.

“THAT A GIRL!” Phew. If I messed up… Maddie's dad didn’t send me to second, so I ran through the base.

“Critacy runner.” Coach Mcvay said. I ran out to Maddie, and high-fived her.

“Nice hit.” She said. I wasn’t really able to reply because we didn’t have a lot of time in between.

It was the last inning of the game, and we were in the field. The other team was starting to catch up.  

“Let’s go girls! How many outs are there?” Coach yelled out. We were getting really quiet in the field, I feel like everybody was losing their energy, including me. There were two outs, and the bases were loaded. One more batter. I pitched a strike. I could tell my arm was getting sore. After this inning, I seriously needed to tell coach my arm was hurting. I took a deep breath, and stepped onto the mound. My feet rocked on the mound, and then I released the ball. The girl that was batting hit my ball. FAR. Ella… Please. Catch. It. The ball was in the sky, and slowly coming down, Ella was charging after it and it looked way off so that it made it look like she definitely couldn’t get it. But then, she caught it. I was so relieved. Whistles and cheers from the fans were loud. I was so happy.

“WOOHOO!” Dad shouted. We all ran into the dugout, and we were all talking close to the bleachers.

The semi-finals game we won, so we were onto the championship. We would play right away. He talked about how we did a good job cheering each other on, but then we lost our energy towards the end of the game. Well, my arm is literally burning. It was my chance to tell the Coach Mcvay  that I couldn’t pitch anymore. I saw coach working on our lineup, so I went to talk to him.

“So, coach.” I tried to grab his attention.

“Yes?” He brought his attention to me.

“I just wanted to let you know my arm hurts.” I said. Luckily he was fine.

“Oh! Yea. I can put in Emma.” He went on, “If your arm hurts make sure your not afraid to tell me.”

“Ok. I will.” I said.

Next we were supposed to play the Greenfield Rockets. At this point, I was still tired from pitching and needed water. I was sweating still.

First inning we were in the field. Coach had put me at first base. “No outs, plays at first!” I yelled out.

“Now that’s what I want to hear!” Coach looked at me. I smiled. Even though I was tired no matter what I wanted to win this championship. The first inning started out good, and we were catching the balls that would be catchable. One by one we got one out, then we got two, with nobody on the bases. Emma was pitching pretty well; since this was the championship game, it was important because every run counts. We finished off the first inning well, with good defense. Yes. We need to keep this up.

The bottom of the first inning went pretty well also for hitting. The reason why we usually got an out was because a strike-out, a basic hit, or the hit was caught. Even though we are a good hitting team, it was challenging if we didn’t get a hit far.  This team was pretty good; their level was pretty close to ours, but we can win. We weren’t really scoring that many runs.

Thirty minutes into the game the intensity was rising like crazy. Strike-out. The ball could be hit pretty far, and it looked like it was going over the girls head. But then there was an optical-illusion effect and the girl would catch it. The mood changed so much. Yes! No! Ugh. I was up to bat. My hands were shaking, and I really badly wanted to take off my sweaty helmet. Focus. Relax. The girl pitching had a smirk on her face. Don’t be tricked by her pitches. I loaded back, and gripped the bat. Next thing I knew, the ball was coming at me. Right down the middle. I knew right that moment by the sound of the bat I knew where it was going. A sharp crack, flying through the field. Then woohoo’s and cheering were surrounding me. When I was almost at first base, Maddie's dad gave me the signal to go to second. Push. The ball was taking forever to get in the infield. What the heck. They were still trying to get the ball, but then there was an overthrow to second.

“Go! Come here!” Coach told me. I busted myself to third and fast as I could. Then, there was an overthrow to third!

“Go home.” Coach was confident. The ball was to the third basemen, but I didn’t dare look back at the ball. The ball could be with the catcher any second. My feet were picking up in the dirt, and I could barely feel my feet touching. I slid into home, and the girl had the ball. Down. She tagged me, but then I was there first. What was the ump going to call? I looked up at him, in the same spot, and he made the hand gesture, out.  Disagreement was calling out from the fans, and same with my team but they were quiet. My dad was apart of the disagreement, too. I ran into the dugout before anything ugly would happen.

“SHE WAS SAFE! HORRIBLE CALL.” Dad yelled. The ump came up to the fence and looked at Dad, with a beer in his hand. Then, it was like I was three years old…

Dad holding my bat for me.

Dad swinging the bat with me.

“Now your getting it!” Dad smiled at me. The comforting of dad in that moment was a strong bond.

The days when we were happy together, laughing together...

“First, calm down man.” He said.

“YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” Then, my mind started going back into the past again. The only difference this time was that I was eight now. The year I was transitioning from rookie league to select…

I was on the pitching machine. The ball was way too fast. I then missed the ball.

“I know it’s fast honey, but I know you can do it! Eventually it will get easier.” When dad was giving me pointers, and helping me in the times when I was struggling.

“Please, leave. We don’t need you here.” The ump said sharply.

“MAKE ME LEAVE.” He stayed where he was, standing in front of everybody. I can’t take this anymore. I put my hand to my forehead. The ump started walking to get to dad outside of the fence.

“Leave now, or I will kick your butt.” The ump said, serious. He gave the other ump the hand signal for calling, which meant he wanted him to call the cops. Then dad laughed.

“YEA, YOU NEVER COULD.” Dad fired back.

“Do you realize how embarrassing your acting right now? I can call the cops on you.”

“SEE IF I CARE.” Dad punched the ump. Then two dudes dressed in security uniforms and came by them. They were dragging Dad away as he was cursing at the ump. Coach told us to ignore the fight, and relax. Where are they going to take dad? But then two cop cars pulled up. They were taking him in the car. Oh. My. God. Somebody already called the cops before!The red and blue lights flashing were too distracting to not look. Are they going to take him to jail? I wasn’t sure if it was okay to cry or not, so I held my tears in. At this point, I feel like everybody knew that that was my dad. The cop car slowly went away, and I wasn’t sure what was going to happen.

I tried to wipe off everything that just happened off my chest. We needed to focus on this game.

“Everything will be okay. Don’t worry about your dad.” Coach told me. Then he came to speak to everybody. “Listen up guys. I know what just happened is still in your mind, but we need to focus on this game and this game only right now. This is the championship.” He said. Everybody seemed to be stuck in the mode, but once we started the game again, it was going to be ok. The ump was holding at issue to his nose, but still umping the game. Even though I was out, we still had another out to go. The score was 7-4, with the Greenfield Rockets up. We can come back.

“Let’s get fired up! Coach Mcvay said. Rita was up to bat, she was a good hitter. This was our one out of the two chances to catch up on the game.

“Let’s go Rita!” I tried to start cheering.

“Come on R!” Maddie said. Yes, I need to get everybody back to where their energy was before. Rita looked pretty nervous, and I could tell because her bat was shaking. Then she swung.

“Strrike!” The ump said with his nose still bleeding. I hope she’ll get a good hit. We needed to catch up, but this could be the end of the inning. The pitcher started their sign that the catcher gave to them. It’s going to be a change up. Please don’t swing early. She swung and missed. Dang it. There was only one strike left. I saw the sign that the coach gave, and then looked at the grip of the ball. Riseball. The pitcher released the ball, and then Rita swung again. This time there was contact with the ball and bat. She ran as fast as she could to first, but the other team was already ahead of her. The ball was a first shortly before she got there. Like that there were three outs.

“Come on guys, we need to hold them now!” Maddie's dad called. For being the last game of the season, everybody was so quiet. Coach put me in the outfield, but I didn’t mind because my arm was at its limit for use. There was a chance the ball could come to me, but low. The Greenfield Rockers had a lot of tall players, but that didn’t necessarily mean that they were better. They have good hitters, but they are slow so we hold get easy outs with simple hits. The first girl that was up was short. Probably one of the only shortest players on the team. I could feel the sun burning on my skin, because it was getting closer and closer to sunset.

“Come on ladies! Let’s get the first out!” I yelled out. Emma was pitching, and she was doing well. The tension was building up, and the batters could get a good hit any second. As long as Emma was doing well pitching, and if we had a good defense, then that’s all we needed.  

We were doing well. We were holding them down and then energy was rising like crazy. My whole team was chanting the whole time along with me supporting Emma. You wouldn’t know how much team effort plays into doing well in games.

“Come on Emma! Show em what you got!”

“You can do this!”

“One more out!”

We were finally helping each other out and we were intimidating the other team, despite what happened before in the game. Ahem, (Dad getting pulled away by security and ending up in a cop car). There was a tall batter up to bat, and I was really hoping she wouldn’t get a good hit. Please, just strike out. We couldn’t let them score anymore runs in this game; every run counts. Bam. Emma pitched three strikes in a row. Coach gave us a little talk before we started our last inning of the game.

“Nice job out there! I can tell your guys energy is high, and that’s all we need. Let’s take a lot of advantage of this last inning and play some ball.” Coach Mcvay told us. We were all agreeing and on the same page. This was our last chance of bat, and then that would be the end of the game. We needed to play our best game.

Maddie was up to bat first.

“Let’s go Maddie!” I said. Everybody else went on. Smack dab Maddie smashed the ball into right field. This was a good way for us to start off the inning. I could see the nervousness in the other teams eyes. Next Ella was up. The ball released, and then she swung and missed. Second pitch came, and then she missed again.

“Come on Ella!!” I said. Next thing you knew she hit the ball on the third pitch. It went to second base, but then there was an overthrow. Ella ran to second after coach sent her too.

“Go! Go!” We all cheered. Then, the overthrow from second was in the hands of a girl. She threw it so far and hard that I thought Ella was going to get out. But she was safe. Eliza then went up to bat, and she hit an infield hit. Easy out. We had one out, but the bases were loaded, I was on deck, and pretty nervous.  Dayna was up before me, and she struck out. No! We only have two outs. Now the bases were loaded, and it was up to me. Everybody was cheering me on, but it made me more nervous because they were counting on me. Coach gave me the signal to swing away. I could see the smile on his face that he was confident with me. Focus. Chin down. I made sure my eye was on the ball, no matter what.

Clunk. My bat swung all the way through, and the ball was hit hard. I looked at the ball this time, because I wanted to see where it was going. Grand slam!

“Woooooo!” My team said. It was unbelievable, I got a grand slam. Coach was so happy, and we were up in the lead by one. We all jogged the bases, and the look on the other coach was unexplainable. The score was 8-7, and the other team wasn’t even able to bat again. The obvious answer was: we won. The girl after me batting was Amanda, and she was not that good of a hitter. She ended up striking out, but that was okay because we won. The game was done, and coach talked to us in the dugout.

“I’m so, so proud of you all.” Coach Mcvay said.

“Me too.” Maddie's dad said.

“The way you girls battled out there was extraordinary.” The ump came over with shiny gold medals. We were all smiling, admiring the medals. Coach handed us one by one the award. We were lined up on the sidelines, and then coach talked to us every time he gave out medals. When it was finally my turn, he spoke to me.

“Savannah. You have come so far this season and you were an amazing player out there.” He smiled and put the medal over my neck. Once our team was done with medals, we took a picture. That reminded me of something: mom would’ve been proud to be here. She would.

That reminded me that I was going to have to ask Maddie or the coach if I could go home with them.

Once we were cleaning up our stuff in the dugout, I was talking to Maddie. It was me, Maddie, Maddie's parents, and Coach.

“I have no clue where I’m going to go tonight.” I was worried, telling her.

“You can come home with us, if you want. I’ll go tell my mom.”

“Savannah.” Coach was calling me. Then I moved my body towards him, and he talked more. “I wanted to make sure you were okay, after this whole game. What happened with your dad was super rediculous, and wrong. I’m really sorry that you have to deal with it, and I wanted to tell you he went to jail. I think it’s for just tonight, and maybe he’ll realize how bad it was. Anyways, I’m super proud of you this season, and I’m hoping you’ll want to play again next year.”

   “Thank you, yes, it’s really hard for me. I think I’m going to stay with Maddie tonight. I don’t have anywhere else to go.” I talked about next year's future. “I’m not sure right now what I’m going to do, but I’m going to have a serious talk with my dad at some point.”

“I wish you good luck, and have a great night. No matter what happens, I wish you the best of luck.”

“Thanks again.” I saw Maddie and her mom come over.

“You can definitely stay with us tonight. We would be delighted to have you over.” I walked with Maddie and her mom and they said goodbye to coach.

I was in the car with Maddie and her mom. My mind was spinning, and spinning, and I didn’t know what to think: to be excited about us winning the tournament, or being sad and frustrated about dad. Talking to them about it was making me feel better, since I had somebody to tell my thoughts to.

“I’m really sorry about your dad.” Maddie's mom said.

“I’m too. It’s super embarrassing for me, and I know what to do about it. I was going to talk to him but I’m kind of scared.”

“Maybe giving out your thoughts to him will make him understand how you feel.” That reminded me: that is similar to what Coach Mcvay told me. I should try, at least. That was making me think more deeply about this. I really should talk to him.

We were pulling in the driveway, and we went inside. I saw Maddies cat like I always did, and I was obviously her favorite.

“Hi there!” I said affectionately. She rubbed her nose on my hand. I wish I had a cat.

“I’m doing ok.” I thought of dad.

Me and Maddie went into the living room. Then her mom came over to talk to us. She was explaining to me everything that I could use.

“Feel free to shower, and we have extra clothes. There is extra pillows and blankets in the cabinet if you need any. We also have extra toothbrushes in the bathroom.” She smiled. I loved Maddie's mom, she is such a nice lady. I overheard her talking to Maddie's dad in the kitchen.

“I can’t believe at all that Savannah’s dad did that. He doesn’t have any clue the kind of things he’ll have to go through at jail.”

“I know. I feel extremely bad for her.” Then she whispered. “The poor girl didn’t have anywhere to stay, so I invited her over here.” There was a wall between us, so they didn’t know I could hear them.

I was spaced out, thinking about the whole game. Then Maddie called my name.

“Savannah?”

“O-oh yeah. Sorry I was spaced out.”

“Are you okay?”

“Not really.”

“We can talk if you want. It’s okay if you don’t want to, but if you want we can.” Then we went upstairs to her room. I told her about how I always have felt about not being able to talk to anybody. It was extremely frustrating  and I always got sad because of mom. I told her about how I would cry in my room at night sometimes because of how much I missed mom.

“He never admitted his mistakes and always was drunk. It was so humiliating at games when you would have a reputation of a man who is always drunk. I could hear other parents talking in games, and they would whisper, ‘oh yea, that man over there is an alcoholic.’” Then tears came into my eyes. All the tears were coming out that I had building up slowly and held in for days. Maddie hugged me, and I felt like she was definitely there for me. Having somebody by me that I can talk to made me feel awesome.

That night, me and Maddie watched Netflix for the rest of the night. Then we ate spaghetti and meatballs, (I was super thankful) and we went back upstairs to go to bed. I told her more when we were in bed about how I talked to coach about my dad and coach advised the same thing that her mom did.

It was the next morning. I changed into clothes that Maddie's mom gave me, and we were eating breakfast.

“Good morning, ladies. How did you sleep?”

“I slept good.” I lied, it was extremely hard for me to fall asleep. I couldn’t tell her that I didn’t.

“That’s good! I have good news for you!” She looked happy.

“Despite your dad going to jail. They are releasing him today. Coach told me that. What I think, is that your dad will realize what he did. He is going to pick you up at one today.”

“Thank you. I hope he does realize.”

“Thats awesome!” Maddie said.

After breakfast, me and Maddie went outside on her trampoline. I loved playing on her trampoline, since I didn’t have one at my house.

“Your coming back next year, right?” Maddie asked me.

“I’m not sure, I’m going to see what happens after my dad picks me up, and then go from there.” I could tell Maddie was trying to convince me to play again.

“It won’t be the same without you.”

“I never said I wasn’t coming back, and I never said I was.”

“Whatever happens, make sure the decision is based on what you want.”

The time went by really fast that late morning, since me and Maddie did a lot of fun things. We ate breakfast, played on her trampoline, and then for the rest of the time we played downstairs in her game room. Her downstairs was huge. There was a huge game room area, with an air hockey table, darts, a pool table, and a ping pong table. Then she had a little living room area, and then a bedroom and bathroom. This was the best part of her house.

After all of this fun, dad was supposed to pick me up soon. Then I got a text from dad.

Picking you up in a half hour. It was weird that he texted me after all of that. I was hoping he was calmed down by now, and he was ready to have a conversation.

Me and Maddie went upstairs, and then Maddie's mom fixed us lunch. She made us grilled cheese quick, and I was starving. I was so thankful for Maddie's family. Then I saw Maddie's dad as he walked out of his bedroom.

“My dad said he is coming in a half hour.” I told her.

“That’s good!” She was always looking for positive things. I swallowed down the food once she was done making the sandwiches.  

“Are you nervous, happy, or scared to see your dad?”Maddie said.

“I honestly don’t know what to feel.” I said. She smiled.

After we were done eating. I was packing up my stuff and got my shoes. My phone buzzed.

Here.

Ok. I texted back. This is it.

“My dads here.” I told her mom.

“Awww.” Maddie said. We hugged, and then Maddie and her mom followed me out to the garage. Then I saw dad, pulled up on his phone. He saw me, Maddie and her mom.

“Thank you so much for everything.” I told her mom.

“It was no problem.” Then dad pulled his window side door down.

“Thank you so much. It means a lot to me.” Dad told Maddie's mom.

“It was really nothing.” Then I walked over nervously to the car and waved at them. I put my stuff in the backseat, and then sat in the front seat. I don’t know what to say. Then he spoke as we were driving away.

“How was it?” He said.

“It went well.” I didn’t smile or frown. I just had a straight face. I didn’t really know what to say to him. The whole car ride home was completely silent. I was thinking about what I was going to tell him when we got home. Every turn, every stop, every roundabout there was no words. Just start out with asking him if you can talk to him.

We were driving into our garage. I got out of the car fast, and grabbed my stuff. Then I opened the door that was unlocked. I put my stuff down, and then he started talking.

“Savannah.” He spoke before he was going to hesitate. I turned around. “Can we please talk.”

“I was just going to say the same thing.” Then tears came in his eyes.

“I am so, so sorry. Every single thing I have done in my life is wrong. After last night, I realized how bad I messed up. I know I’m a horrible father. You probably hate me.” Then I started to tear up as well.

“I don’t think you realize how badly you humiliated me. After all these months, I have always wanted to say something.” I wiped my face. “I’m really glad that you finally realized that.”

“Savannah. I’m going to get help as soon as possible. I now know how bad it was. I couldn’t control myself. It was like alcohol was taking over my entire life.” Then he rolled the string in his hoodie on his finger. “I miss the times when you were little when we enjoyed each other's company. I miss when mom was here. Ever since mom died, I have used alcohol as a tool to make myself feel better.”

“Do you want to know something? I almost wanted to quit softball because of you. I talked to coach after practice about it. I cried myself to bed about it. You really had an effect on me.”

“I don’t want you to stop playing the sport you love because of me. Starting tomorrow I’m going to get serious help.” Then we both hugged. My heart was pumping fast, and I could feel dad shaking. We pulled away.

“Can we start over? Do you forgive me?”

“Yes.” I felt like all this weight lifted off of my shoulders. All that pain, all those tears, all those doubts are pushed away. All those worries are behind in my past.

That night, dad sent an email apologizing to coach for everything he had done, and that he was going to seek serious help. Then he ended it with, ‘Savannah will be more than happy to return next year’. Me and dad were going to build on our relationship from then, and we were working on the current, forgetting the past.

Life was throwing me curveballs, but then it all came out in the end.