That's $10.15 all together." The cashier told me, I nodded and handed over the money.

I felt my phone vibrate in my bag and rooted around until I saw it flashing in the corner, it was a text from Mitch, I smiled as I flipped it open and read:

Pick me up a packet of cigarettes baby xoxoxo ;)

Baby. He was obviously in a good mood, I grinned and picked some up from the side adding that to the total as well. I grabbed my shopping bag and hurried out of the door, wondering what had happened today to bring on this good mood.

I slot the key in the lock and opened his door, it was relatively dark in the room, and there was no sign of anybody or of Mitch. My heart dropped slightly, as I had walked to his house, I had fantasized about what surprise might be waiting for me, but apparently that was too much to ask for.

I walked through to the kitchen and put my bag down, re-reading the text, it had only been sent while I was in the shop.

I felt my body freeze hoping it had just been my shadow, suddenly the lights flickered on, and Mitch was stood by the dresser holding a bouquet of flowers, they were yellow, like tulips but prettier somehow. His face was lit up with an adorable smile that seemed permanently fixed to his lips. He was staring at me his eyes squinted slightly, like he had been waiting a while in the darkness.

I didn't want to ruin the moment, it was intense, our eyes were doing all the talking, he began to move slowly towards me, never unlocking our stares from each other, I was still frozen, my legs tense, thinking that if I moved, all of this perfection would disappear and I would wake up, alone.

He was close to me now, so near that I could feel his breath gently hitting my cheek, he leaned in and brushed his lips with mine, and then stood back, "I got these for you." He held them out for me to take, and as I dd our fingertips touched only for a moment and I felt the electricity circulate around my hands, it was all I could do to not jump him then and there.

I breathed in the scent and smiled thankfully at him, "They're so beautiful." I remarked looking back into his eyes, the smile was still there, he was happy that I was happy, I have wanted to see that in his face for so long.

"They are." He replied, "But they are nothing compared to you."

I couldn't help it, just to hear those words from him, it was too much, and I burst into tears and fell into him, letting his arms wrap around my body and feel him draw invisible shapes in my back. I began to sob uncontrollably, never wanting him to let go.

"Baby, why are you crying?" He whispered into my ear, this only speared more sobs on. That line, it had so many memories, he used to say it to me whenever I shed a tear, when I fell off my bike outside his house when I was nine, the time I first had my heartbroken, when my grandma passed away.

He pushed me away slightly and forced me to look at him again, " I will always, always be here, you're my everything Jazz, things can only get better for us." I tried my best to control myself and redeem some presentable form, Mitch though was looking just below my lip, at the bruise that had formed after last weekend, it had mostly cleared up now but there was still a dark shadow remaining.


He gently brought me forward and kissed it, a warm tingle shot through me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck drawing him in closer. He moved up my jaw bone and found my ear, he whispered, "I'll be better."


I felt him smile into a kiss and then suddenly, he lowered his body and I felt one arm wrap around my legs and the other supporting my back. I was flying, holding on so tightly to his neck and giggling like a little girl. He looked down at me and smiled, satisfied that was he was doing was having this affect on me. He began to walk towards the stairs case, I felt like a princess in a story book, and he was my prince charming, sweeping me off my feet, carrying me away from any hurt or sadness the world could bring me.

Jazmine was practically beaming as she opened the door to me, at first I just thought it was because I was here and she's missed me so much, or should I say I hoped it was that. She hugged me and let me in, the curtains were open for a change and there was the soft sound of music coming from the kitchen.

"This is, different." I remarked looking around, I'd never realised the walls were an ivy shade of green before, it was quite nice actually.

"What? Oh right, yes well I thought the room needed a bit more light in it." She walked through to the kitchen and I followed, the smell of spaghetti bolognaise hit me as we stepped inside.

"Smells good." I commented, it was awkward which was weird, it was never awkward. Jazmine didn't seem to realise though, she was in a sort of daze, swanning around the room grabbing things here and there and putting them into different pans.

"Thank you, it's Mitchel's favourite, thought I'd make it to celebrate." She told me.

I frowned, "celebrate what?" I asked curious, I stuck a finger in and tasted it, she slapped my hand away bu she wasn't angry she was still radiating her dazzling smile that I've seen so little of.

"Mitch's getting a job." She told me excitedly.

"A job?" I asked somehow confused even though it was the simplest of concepts to understand, the majority of the world has one "Like, a real one?"

"Yes!" She squealed and hugged my arm, "Things are just picking up for us, he has been so sweet and loving these last few days, he even bought me flowers!" She pointed over to where she'd placed tulip-like flowers into a vase.

"Flowers eh? Well that's great." It was hard to act in front of Jazz, I wanted her to be happy, it had become my life goal to make her feel special, I just didn't want her to feel that way with Mitch. I looked down at the work top and scrunched my face together, when I looked back up she hadn't even noticed my sudden drop in happiness.

"Do you want to stay for dinner? Me and Mitchel would love to have you." She told me.

That was strange, I felt the room jerk slightly at what she had just asked, and the fact that she had to ask it. Her and Mitch, they would be happy to have me. That sounded so weird, it should be that they were used to having me and that I could just turn up unannounced and there would be more than enough to share around because she'd always have more, because she'd hope I'd turn up.

I twisted my lips before answering, "Yeah sure." I didn't want it to seem like something was wrong, because to her I guess nothing was.

I heard a banging against the door, and then the creak of it opening, then a hard slam that shook the house, it wasn't the sound of someone coming in that had just gotten a job and who would be starting on Monday. I looked over at Jazmine, she was looking at me too, the smile was still there, same as before, but she couldn't hide the fear that was now behind her eyes.

[Jazmine]


"Nick, you're here what a surprise." I heard Mitch announce sarcastically.

"How did the job interview go, Mitch ?" Nick was holding his ground, not showing the slightest sign of fear or anxiety, I was ready to topple to the floor, over the edge, the final stance.

I heard Mitchel laugh care-freely, I naively wished that this meant that it went well and we shouldn't worry about anything. "Apparently, I'm just not what they're looking for." He laughed again, devilishly, the sound echoed through the room and made my stomach churn.

"That's a shame, I'm sure something else will come along." Nick responded calmly. I bit my knuckle to stop from crying, the tension was become too much for me.

"What is that supposed to mean ?" He asked coming closer to Mitch, I felt myself back away so that I was leaning against the oven daring to look up for a moment. Mitch had an evil smile plastered across his face, his eyes piercing into Nick.

"I'm not sure what you mean." No Nick, don't play the fool, it doesn't work with Mitch, please just don't make him angry.

Mitch scoffed again, "Oh come on, I see the way you look at me, you think you're better than me. I just can't measure up, can I?" Mitch asked him only a small gap between their faces now. My heartbeat was going into over drive and I sunk my teeth further into my hand.

"You've hit on hard times, it's not your fault." I could hear the fake reassurance through that line, and I was sure Mitch could too, Nick wasn't fooling anyone, although maybe that was the point?

"See that's what I don't get." Mitch began, he moved away slightly leaning his weight on one hand on the table, "Everyone seems to think that I think it is my fault, the way that I am, but I don't."

"No?" Nick challenged.

"No." Mitch continued, "The way I see it, I made my decision long ago to not be like you, because I have everything I need right here." I wasn't looking at hi but I could tell his attention has fallen on me. He carried on, "You see Nick, you may have that status and that lifestyle, but there's one thing that I have always beaten you at, and that's this girl right here." He walked over to me and wrapped an arm around my waist.

I felt disgusted that I was becoming a toy in their little rivalry, but I couldn't get out of his grasp or Nick's stare, his eyes were fixed on mine and his hand was white with pressure as it curled into a fist. Mitch didn't seem to notice though, or if he did he didn't care, "This girl loves me, and I love her." Usually I would have sang God's praises at hearing that but right now I didn't want to be the girl he was referring to. "And that's something you'll never have." He smiled with his teeth as if he hadn't just humiliated his friend in front of me, Nick was showing no sign of deterrent, his was now looking back at Mitch which a questionable look in his eyes.

"You're right ," He said, And with that he turned from the room slamming the door as he went one after the other, we remained still until we heard his car start up and rev away, as soon as any reminder of Nick had gone Mitch forcefully pushed me away. "Don't you ever humiliate me like that "

I gasped in a short breath, I hadn't expected that, "Mitch, honey-" I began but he suddenly grabbed my neck and slammed me into the cupboard.

"You brought him over here didn't you? You expected me to not get the job, so you thought you'd make a show of it, didn't you? "He spat at me.
I was silenced his hand slapped me, leaving my cheek swollen and bleeding. I made vain attempts to stop him but to no avail, he was too strong and every time I tried to push him away he became more rough and demanding. He didn't stop, he punched kicked and bruised every part of my body.I had forgotten what he was even mad about, a few days ago. He was happy and smiling.
Mitch finally left, I lay on the floor beaten and battered, my body swollen and tender. With each move I make was like reliving the pain, each punched that gut me and left me panting for my last breath. Every kick that bruised when the tip of his iron tip shoes marked my skin. I hovered over my own body, I was blotchy and had bruises on every inch of my body, blood trickled from each cut in my head. I was numb, the pain seized. And I watched as my eyes fluttered closed, then i was sucked back into the reality of my life.

Jazmine-and-Nick dinner-and-movie night had been a tradition ever since Mom signed us up for a cooking class when we are still in elementary. She signed up to "cleanse her mind" (AKA, her therapist made her). She dragged me along for the "extra incentive of mother-daughter bonding" (AKA, she needed someone to cover for her when she skipped to do shots with Millie, her best friend).

I almost always went with Nick. Once we mastered a new dish he would come over with a movie of his choice.

The cooking class had been my escape from my mom and dad. When it ended, I continued cooking, but learning new dishes got harder, so the dinner-and-movie nights were rescheduled to random nights, whenever he or I felt like it.

Tonight I decided to make my famous chicken spaghetti. Mitch was visiting his mom due, to the teenage rehabs orders. Nick showed up about six, right in the middle of boiling the chicken.

"Am I allowed to call you beautiful?" he whispered into my ear. I felt a small shiver run down my spine.

"As long as Mitch doesn't hear," I replied distantly, stirring the chicken.

"I don't like him," he whispered, his lips at my neck. I froze.

" Nick, what are you doing?" I whispered back.

He sighed. "I don't know." He rested his head on my shoulder. My hurt shoulder.

"Ow!" I winced and yanked my shoulder away. Smart one, Jazmine. Smart one.

"What's wrong?" Nick touched my shoulder gently. "Did I do something?"

His fingers brushed my skin as they wrapped around my collar.

"Nick, don't!" But I was too late. I felt my bare shoulder exposed; the steam from the chicken rising into the air, clinging to my shoulder. I closed my eyes, bracing for any reaction.

"Jazmine...what happened to you?"

It took me a minute to recognize the emotion in his voice. It was concern.My mother certainly didn't care and Mitch needed me too much to be worried about me. The sound of that emotion in his voice -- or maybe it was the shock that someone cared for me so much -- shocked me. I felt almost...disgusted. Disgusted that Nick (and his family, of course, but Nick mostly) was the only one I knew that ever cared about me.

My dad cared on the rare occasions that he wasn't high. Mom is just sort of...there.

"J. who did this to you?" He looked straight into my eyes. For a minute, I almost expected him to figure it out just from the look in my eyes. For the whole story just to spill out.

"IT WAS Mitch," I wanted to scream. Every part of my body was screaming, but nothing came out of my mouth.

"Jazz...tell me," he said gently.

"It was my mom." I lied. Again. Why couldn't he tell I was lying? "Way too drunk. I was helping her and she fell and pulled me down, too."

His eyes scanned my face, then ran over the bruise on my shoulder.Mitch. It was Mitch. I willed these words into his mind. But he never said anything.

"I still don't like Mitchel." He pulled my shirt back over my shoulder and sat at the counter -- his usual space -- and looked at me. "I don't."

"You haven't given him a chance," I said. I stirred the chicken again and pulled the noodles from the pantry.

"I don't need to give him a chance to know I don't like him. Besides, we have nothing in common." His gaze never wavered from my face.

"Oh really? I thought you guys had tons in common."

"Like?" He cut me off short.

"Like...you're both funny, and sweet, and smart, and... you guys are both cute." I glanced at him. He didn't find it amusing. Actually, to my shock, he looked angry. "What?"

"Are you calling me a manipulative bastard or are you comparing Mitch to me to me to convince yourself he's a good guy?"

"I...I don't know what you're talking about."

"I saw how you acted around him! I saw how he controls you! It's like he's brainwashed you or something!"

If you would just put two and two together Nick. Honestly!

I scoffed. "I am NOT brainwashed."

"Oh yeah? You've never broken a promise to me. Ever. You promised we would hang out--"

"What are we doing right now,Nick?!" But he ignored me.

"And he said the word and you left with him to do God knows what!"

"He needed me!" I argued.

I let my weight lean on the side cabinet one the eggs had begun to sizzle away,I was still sore. If I accidentally bumped against a door or chair even getting dressed this morning seemed like agony. He had left last night before I had found the strenght to pick myself up off the kitchen floor, probably went to the nearest bar, that's what he did when he was upset, I was glad to see him sleeping next to me when i woke this morning, it meant he was safe.

It was my fault, maybe I hadn't shown it enough, I hadn't made him feel what I felt for him.

I turned back to the breakfast that I was making for him, my first loving act of the day. I placed the bacon and eggs on the tray along with two slices of toast, and began to walk up the stairs. I knocked softly on the door but there was no response so I took that as a safe sign to come in. I placed the plate gently on the bed next to his sleeping form and trailed my finger along his forearm feeling them glide over the muscle which used to be so defined, so irresistible. He rolled over so I could see his face and his eyes squinted open.

"What?" He asked sharply, annoyed that I had woken him.

I gulped on non-existent saliva and pushed the plate forward, "I made you some breakfast." I told him timidly, "Thought you should start a job-hunting day with a good start." I forced a smile and felt my heart race waiting for an answer.

"I'm not going job-hunting." His eyes had shut again but his brow crinkled as if I was so stupid it was inconceivable to even think he would so that today.

I tried again pushing the plate even nearer, "Well, still I don't want you to go hungry, I'm off to practice so-"

Before I could even finish my sentence he had picked up the plate and threw it at my stomach, "Can't you ever just leave me alone, I don't want any!" I fell to the floor in pain, the breakfast that I had so carefully put together was now all over the floor and all over my work uniform, but he just rolled back under the covers away from me.

"I, I'm sorry." I stuttered and ran out of the room trying to hold back from crying, but once I was back downstairs and in the kitchen I fell to the floor clutching my stomach and let the tears flow freely my sobs ached against my chest and just balancing my weight on one of my arms seemed impossible. I didn't understand, I was just trying to do a nice thing why had he reacted like that? I wanted my old Mitch back, the one who never felt shy to tell me he loved me all the time, the one that had no problem giving up his entire day just to be with me.

Bounce! Bounce! The tennis ball smacked into the glass window and zoomed back towards me. I had been playing catch with myself for the last fifteen minutes . It's a hard life I know.

I heard the door opening and I spun around , before I even looked up to see who it was I dramatically put to them

" Mom, I'm hungry."

. I looked up to see Jazmine standing against the door with a confuse look on her face, "Jazz" I said surprised to see her, and in such a state, her hair was tousled out of the pony tail so it dragged along her back, her eyes we red-rimmed and blotchy. I jumped out of my chair and ran over to her, closing the door and sitting her down in one of my comfy chairs.

"What's happened?" I asked looking her dead in the eye feeling the worry build up inside me.

"I need your help." She managed to say, although it was quiet and she looked confused like she didn't know why she was here.

"I'll do anything what do you need?" I asked eager to let her know how far I would go to make her happy.

"I need Mitch!" She screeched and fell into my arms, her body pounded against mine as I felt her sob uncontrollably, leaving a wet patch all over my fresh linen shirt. I sighed and rubbed her back, of course this would be to do with Mitch.

I grimaced, I didn't want to admit it but I told her, "Babe you already have Mitch." I sighed and felt her body calm next to mine.

"No, I mean, the Mitch that I used to have, I want him back." She held her head in her arms and shook it vigorously.

"What's brought this on?" The question I should have really asked was what hasn't? Useless excuse for a friend, and an even worse example of a boyfriend!

"I can't please him anymore, anything I do just makes him more upset! I don't know what I'm doing wrong!" She screamed and I saw fresh tears well up under her eyelids.

I sighed and shook my head walking over to my desk and pulling out a box of tissues from my drawer, I handed them her which she took gratefully. "Jazz," I told her and she looked up at me, "Jazmine, why do you do this to yourself?" She gave me a sorrowful look, and I felt my heart break for the millionth time when I saw it, "You can't keep blaming this on yourself, it's Mitch, he's, messed up." I sat back down next to her.

"He's just going through a rough time." She defended him again, folded my hand into a fist at those words, those words that I've heard again and again, over and over oh it's not his fault! He's just trying to make it through a tough world! Yeah well he should suck it up and start acting like a man!

"Yes but that doesn't mean that he should have the attitude he does." I responded calmly, I wasn't going to get angry that was the last thing she needed.

"Well that's why I'm here. I need you to help me." She looked at me with pleading eyes and reached over to touch my hand, hers was warm and welcoming and I wished I could have it to myself for ever.

I took it and asked, "What can I do, me and Mitchel don't exactly see eye to eye anymore, in case you haven't noticed."

"Well that's what I mean, he's been so cut off from his old life that I think that's what he needs at the moment, maybe if you came down for a weekend and you two just hung out, you know try and get the old him back." She smiled up at me, even though her eyes were still glossy from the tears that I know waited behind them if I rejected her offer.

I couldn't though, I wanted her to be happy so badly that it physically hurt but I wasn't going to help her be happy with him, "I'm sorry Jazz," Her face fell, "I can't," I shook my head and she released my hand from hers.

"Well why not?" She asked me sounding like a six year old who had just been denied a lollipop.

"Jazz do you really think that it is going to stay that way? Yeah sure it might keep him happy for a couple of days maybe a week but he'll just go back to his pit of self misery. He's a lost cause." My words were harsh but she had to hear them, I wanted her to see sense.

Her face quickly turned from sadness to anger, "That's your problem Nick, you give up on people too easily, no one deserves to be cut off, and I'm not going to let myself do that to Mitch not ever." She stood up briskly but then fell back onto the sofa with a face of pain and I saw her arm instinctively clutch her stomach.

"Jazz? What's wrong?" I asked her, I saw her trying to control her breathing as if to soothe some kind of pain. I looked from her face to her stomach, she moved her hand up showing me her stomach, a dark bruise lined her stomach as if she had been hit with something. I looked back into her eyes which were filled with guilt. Mitch .