When I wake the next morning mom is already gone. I eat a power bar and head out to see Ashley. My head hurt so I decided to avoid the band freaks today. They hooted and hollered but I just kept on walking. I just wanted to see my girl. I slip through the gate and into the school. I am getting ready to round the corner to Ashley's locker when I see Valentine and Sage again. I was pretty sure it was her locker seeing it was filled with pictures and she was the one to lock it. They were smiling and laughing. Sage turns and sees me looking. I turn the corner and see Ashley talking with Steve. I smile and wrap my arms around her from behind and kiss the back of her head. "Good morning Gorgeous." "Lloyd stop! I'm trying to talk." Her snappy attitude surprises me. She loves it when I walk up behind her and hold her. I'm not sure what was up but if she was in a bad mood you just didn't question her theory. I just quietly stood by her side and listened as she continued talking to Steve about some class they had together. He gave me a small smile and his gesture told me he was sorry. That's how Steve always was. Apologetic about everything that involved Ashley, or any other girl that he knew I liked. The bell rings and Ashley just hurries off into the crowd, not waiting for me to walk with her. So her bad mood was pointed towards me. It was either because I bothered her earlier or because of something else. I shrug it off and wander to my first class. Whatever it was that she was mad about she would get over it during the day. But as class started I could feel the seed of worry start to grow in the pit of my stomach. Concentrating soon became an issue and after a while all I could think about was why she was mad at me. I wasn't sure what I did to make her mad. Yesterday everything seemed perfectly normal. Soon the first bell rang and I was hurrying to my second class. And soon the second bell rang and my homework began to pile up. Even at lunch I was quiet, listening to the other guys bet each other who could eat the most. No one asked me what was wrong and maybe that was for the better. I anxiously wait for the bell to ring so I can end the day and see why she is so pissed at me. I am the first one in Weaver's room and I sit quietly and pull my stuff out of my bag. I already had math and history work to do plus practice tonight. But it was impossible to tear the worry plant out of my stomach. By now it had probably already coursed through my veins and was starting to strangle my heart. I shake the thought out of my head and glare at the table. "Hey QB. What's up?" I look up to see Valentine starring down at me. I look away, not in the mood to argue with her. "Hey are you alright?" He voice changes from cockiness to sincere concern. She leans on the table until I look up into her eyes. "I'm fine. Just not in the mood to talk." I curse myself for giving in to her. She had been the first one to ask me what was going on. I swallow fear in huge gulps and look away from her. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave you be. If you need to talk I'm here." Her polite offer shocks me. She didn't want to kick me while I was down, while I was upset and alone. Instead she wanted to help me. Why would she want to do that? "Hey can I be your partner? I mean I know you're in a bad mood but David kind of scares me." She grins and nods to David, who was currently picking a scab off his arm. "Oh, yeah. That's cool." She just nods and goes to her seat. I couldn't blame her for not wanting to be with David. He was a little on the strange side. And with my mind all jumbled up I knew I could count on her to work hard on the lab. "Good morning class. Today we are going to look at microscopes and we are just going to learn how to use them. So we are just going to look at some pretty cool things. Partner up and find a microscope and I'll give you a slide." I get up and follow Valentine to a microscope. We quietly work on our paper and flip through the different slides. "So," Valentine broke the silence, "I saw you yesterday." "Yeah, what's your point?" "Well I just didn't want you to think we were.. Uh.. I don't know. We looked like a bunch of crazy chickens didn't we?" I thought about what she said and tried to remember their practice yesterday. I grin as I remember them leaning and attempting to balance. I guess they did kind of looked like crazy chickens. "Just a little." She laughs at this and I couldn't help to burst out laughing along with her. "What were you guys even doing? Learning the chicken dance, because let me tell you it looks nothing like that." We laugh a little more and she jokingly imitates the chicken dance, flapping fake wings and motioning her hands like a talking duck bill. "We were choreographing. At certain counts if you move or I guess dance, it looks super cool from above. It also gives you a lot of points. " "Wait, are you saying dancing gives you more points?" "Yeah. Not yet though, since we can't even get the chicken dance down, but when we get better it will look great." She laughs a little and shakes her head. "I guess that does seem pretty pathetic compared to the people that smash into each other. But trust me it's a pain in the butt." I just nod and look at her. She didn't deny that is sounded really stupid but she also stuck up for herself. It was weird. We sat in silence for a long time. The paper was done and we were just taking turns and looking at random things. During one of her turns I look up and catch Sam starring at me and he looks instantly away. I look from Valentine to him and back again. That had to be why Ashley was mad at me. It was because I was talking to Valentine and because she was a nerdy band kid. Everyone in football knew that Sam had a thing for Ashley and they would all stick up for him. They liked Sam a lot better, and not to mention I had guys waiting for me to mess up in almost all my classes. "I think my girlfriend is mad that I talk to you." It was more a random thought said out loud than something said to be offensive. I mean I like Valentine as an acquaintance of course, band geeks weren't my thing, but it didn't really occur to me as mean. "Wow. Is she really that shallow? She gets all worked up because you talk to other girls. That is pretty pathetic. If you guys are dating she should trust you." She gives me an angry look. I understand what she means but it bothers me since she doesn't even know Ashley. How can she say she is shallow if she has never even talked to her. "Look you can't judge everyone by yourself. You haven't even talked to her. Hell, you probably don't even know who I am talking about." "Ha! You think I don't know who your precious little blonde faker is? Everyone knows who she is and not in a good way. And I'm allowed to judge her because I do know her and I know how she treats my friends. She is the one that judges everyone on looks and just assumes they are freaks but doesn't actually give them the time of day. So don't tell me what I can and can't do." She glares at me in pure rage. I didn't exactly understand what she meant by the whole not in a good way crap but I also didn't care. We were discussing my girlfriend and I wasn't going to let some new girl talk crap about her. "Whatever. You are just jealous because she is popular and super pretty. She can get anyone she wants and no one would choose you over her." "Okay whatever you think macho man. I like who I am and I wouldn't change it for anything. I know I may not be miss popular but people shouldn't talk to me or want to date me because I look "hot". Also I'm not jealous because I'm not into cocky jocks. I like percussionists. And if she can be with anyone she wants why did she pick you?" She gets up and goes to her desk, obviously fuming. I want to do the same but I don't want to be in front of her. She was being a total jerk. I didn't care what she said I knew she was jealous and she was the whole reason Ashley was super pissed at me. The bell rings and I collect my things and head to gym. Gym mostly consists of running and lifting weights, two things I was pretty good at. Not to mention they really relieve the stress and anger coursing through my veins. I watch as Drake and Ben push the nerds around but I just stay away from all of it. I had enough on my plate as it was and I had already encountered one annoying band freak and I didn't need four more to deal with. When I walk into English I sit in the very back away from everyone. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I just wanted this stupid day to be over. I really needed to talk to Ashley. It ruins my whole day knowing she is super pissed at me. Then having some new chick come in and act like she knew Ashley and said she was such a horrible person was just too much. The clock ticks by slowly and it takes forever for the bell to ring. When the bell did finally ring I pretty much run to Ashley's locker. When I turn the corner I see Sam, most likely tattling about Valentine and I being partners. "Hey Ash, hi Sam." I give him my death glare before turning to Ashley. Ashley herself was giving me a death glare and soon Sam was too. The tension was intense as I wait for a reply to make sure that what I had contemplated was true. "Oh, hello there Lloyd. I didn't know you preferred girls that are totally nerdy and freaky. I thought that a football player likes more popular girls and cheerleaders but I guess you are pretty different compared to everyone else. Or are you just a two- faced jerk? I mean just yesterday you were bashing all those little nerds and now today you are practically throwing yourself to this new geeky girl." "Okay, you have it all wrong. Your little messenger here is full of s***. What really happened is I have been in a bad mood all day because you decided to just ignore me because I'm not good enough for you. And during Biology I was only partners with Valentine because she didn't want to be with David because he is a freaking creep. We barely talked and when we did it was me making fun of her. We mostly talked about how I thought you were mad at me. She started talking s*** about you and I stood up for you. This is how I am rewarded? Jesus, maybe ask me first before you just f*ing assume." I turn and walk off, fuming. I walk upstairs to my locker and pull my books out. What the hell is her problem? She thinks she can just have all my friends stalk me? What was I a five year old? I slam the locker shut and hurry down the stairs to get to practice. "Lloyd! Baby, wait!" I don't but she runs up to me anyway. "Honey I'm sorry. It's just yesterday after school Sam told me you were all flirty with this new girl and then he told me today you were her partner and I just freaked. Look I didn't even know the whole story. You know how I am, I worry too much. I just don't want to lose you. Please, please don't be mad at me." "Part of a relationship is trust Ash. You have to trust me. I'm not like every other guy who drops who he is dating to get some, or for someone hotter okay? If you can't trust me then why are you dating me?" I could feel myself coming unglued. I knew what I was saying was only to hurt her but she deserves it. She had made me feel like crap all day and then accused me of cheating. Then she thinks she can just say "I'm sorry" and everything will just become honky dory. "Lloyd. Look I'm really sorry. I really want to be with you. You are adorable and strong and smart and amazing. You are everything a girl could ask for and I'm lucky to have you. I just know that since you are the new quarterback every girl in school will be waiting for me to overreact or mess up. I just don't want to lose you. You mean a lot to me." I turn and see that I hurt her more than I had intended. She really seems upset and I can see the fear in her eyes. I pull her close and kiss the top of her head. "Don't worry baby. It's all okay. It just made me mad that you didn't believe me. I mean I trust you. Look it was just stupid. I'm sorry." She looks into my eyes and we kiss. "You better get to practice." Her voice sounds strained and I know she doesn't want me to leave her after my blow up but there is nothing I can do. "Alright. I'll text you tonight baby. I love you." I hug and kiss her again and I start to walk to the locker room. I know if I don't hurry Coach Andrews will kill me but I don't want to Ashley to think that football is more important than her. "Hey Lloyd, I love you too." I smile as I open the locker room door. Practice was long and rather intimidating. Everyone was tired and the coach worked us like dogs. We were all smelling pretty rancid by the time we enter the locker room. As I change I look around for Sam. He was taking a shower and I gather a few guys to meet him when he got out. We each took turns whipping him with our towels and chasing him around the locker room. Others join in as they saw Sam butt naked running from us, others just jokingly cat-call and whistle. He gave me a death glare when we finally stop but I didn't care. The idiot would think again before he tried ruining my relationship with Ashley again. Coach Andrews walks out and congratulates us on the good practice. He seems more eager to start the season off then we did half the time. I walk out of the locker room into the sunset. The sun was slowly slipping behind the woods beside our school. The heat was letting up slowly but the band kids were still at it, glistening with sweat and looking exhausted. They were going over the same thing, looping it over and over again. I walk toward the fence to leave and spot Valentine, holding up her trumpy thing and standing very still. Her hair was up and her tank top was completely drenched with either water or sweat, I was hoping it was water. She was staring at some kid a year older than us. He was kind of a selfish jerk and I did not prefer him. He was holding his hands up and looking pretty pissed off. He was standing next to a tall, middle aged man, who I assume is the Band Teacher, who also looked rather mad. "Come on! Would you try? You look mediocre. Do you expect us to make it to state with all you freshman looking at the ground? Not to mention your moving in set. Stop! You are making us look hideous. We have been doing this for an hour, do you not want a water break this practice because I sure can do that." The middle aged man screamed this into a mike that came out of some sort of a loud speaker that I couldn't see. He said something quietly to kid next to him and the kid called out and everyone's eyes were on him and they continued to loop the same thing. Damn, Coach Andrews was harsh but this guy seemed like he was Satan. I shake my head and turn to go home. My stomach is growling and I walk a little faster, praying Mom isn't home so I can make a huge dinner without her freaking. As I cook anything and everything I turn on my phone and text Ashley. We send each other texts as I eat and I tell her good night when she tells me she has homework to do. She still seems upset but it was hard to tell since we were merely texting. She was probably just sleepy. I do my homework then take a nice hot shower. As I walk to my room to go to bed I hear Mom walk in and groan at the dishes that I forgot to wash after my dinner. I sneak into my room and slide into bed before she gets the idea to make me wash them. I close my eyes and let my mind wander to Ashley as I drift off to sleep

The rest of the week drug by like a snail trying to cross a dirt road, long and difficult. My "life" now consisted of waking up to go to school, after school going to football practice, then going home to do a ton of homework. Time was hard to find for myself to even shower and sleep let alone impossible to find for hanging out with Ashley. The weekend was way too short and soon it was Monday again. That week was even harder and longer. I had homework in every class and football had become more of a chore then fun. This made my attitude horrible since I never got to see Ashley and all my classes were considered "Honors" classes so they were even more difficult. Ashley threw fits almost every day about me not seeing her. The most I could do was walk her to class and text her, and even those times were short and somewhat meaningless.

Then it was the next week and I was going insane. I never had time to do anything. I was balancing so many things at once and all I ever heard from Ashley was her complaining about how I didn't try hard enough for her. Did she not see how much I had going on? I mean she is in all honors classes too but she got to go straight home unlike me. Not to mention I am horrible at multitasking. Sometimes I wish she could just see how much I do try for her but I think even then it wouldn't be good enough.

By Monday of our forth week back at school I was ready for it all to be over. I trudge to Biology, ready to fall face down in my desk and get some rest. "Hey QB! How's practice going for ya?" Valentine chirps as she walks over and drops her stuff on my desk like she did almost every day. We surprisingly had become rather good friends even though we both denied it. For a band kid she was rather cool.

"Brutal. Ashley wants to come over this weekend but I just want to stay in a sleep coma and ignore the world. But if I tell her no I will be hearing about how inconsiderate and how I'm a horrible boyfriend for weeks. What about yours Horn Girl?"

"The usual. Long, sweaty, and full of immature Brass Boys." Her talk was coded in band talk but it made sense after a while. Some things I heard her say so often I found myself saying it back to her. Other things were so confusing I just nodded my head like I knew what was going on. I'm sure she does the same thing when I talk about football. "If you're really that tired why don't you invite her over for dinner than afterwards watch a movie that you can fall asleep to and just say it was late or something."

"Damn, that isn't a bad idea." I smile at her slyness and think of making Ashley her favorite food and watching her favorite movie. If Valentine was a guy she would know every trick there was. I sometimes found myself wishing that she would quit band so she could hang out with us. She has this aura around her that makes her so pleasant to be around, not to mention she was beautiful. They guys would have loved her. I could see Steve eyeing her and talking about her every five seconds. It seemed too good of an idea and so me and Valentine were just friends in Biology and English.

"Hey can we be partners for this cell project?"

"Yeah, but since we are both busy after school we are going to have to come in early tomorrow. And wouldn't you rather be with David?" I wink at her and nod my head towards him. She gives me a disgusted look and kicks me.

"Does it look like I want to be with David? Didn't think so." She grins reads over the requirements. She was amazing at every subject there was so it didn't hurt that I was always her partner in our two classes. Not only does she explains things so that I can actually understand them but she also takes a lot of time and makes our projects look and sound professional. The only bad thing was I was going to lose sleep to come in early to do it.

The bell rings and I chuckle at the thought of Valentine getting away with standing by my desk the whole class period. Mr. Weaver didn't seem to care that much since we were doing great in his class. We walk down the hallway discussing what the poster should look like and what each of us should do. We get to the end of the hall then go our separate ways as I head for gym and she goes to somewhere deep within our school's stomach. I get to the locker room and open my locker when I hear Drake snicker. It wasn't a joking snicker but it was the kind that is full of cold heartedness and that can make your blood run cold. I ignore it and change but soon Ben is also making the same dark noise. I look around and no one else is looking at me except Sage. His eyes are sad and he doesn't look away when I catch his eyes.

The coach calls us out but I wait to talk to Sage. "Hey man, do you know what's going on?" I couldn't fight the scared edge in my voice as I said it. His eyes caught mine and fear took over his original sad look.

"Look I know practice is really important to you but you really need to go see your girlfriend after school." He puts his hand on my shoulder and starts to open his mouth but decides against it. He gives me one last sorrowful look before walking past me into the gym. Fear plants itself in my stomach as I turn to do the same. What did Sage mean? Why did everyone always seem to find out things before I did? If Ashley was upset she would have said so, or maybe it's not that? Breathing became difficult and no matter how hard I ran I couldn't clear my mind. Gym soon became very complex in reasonability.

By the time class was over my head was spinning, my heart was sinking, and the fear that was now deeply rooted in my stomach was starting to branch out, making my whole body numb and shaky. I wander down the crowded halls feeling totally alone. Even though I could feel people brushing past me it felt even more lifeless. I climb the stairs with much trouble and I feel my legs wobble, begging to give in. I realized people were staring at me and either laughing or giving me sad looks. What the hell was going? Was I the only one that didn't know what was up with my girlfriend? I held my head high and took on my average walk. There was no reason to let the world see me fall apart, they already know more than I did.

I walk into English and my façade melts away when I see Valentine. If Sage knew what was up then she surely did as well. "Hey. Can we talk?" My voice was desperate and my throat was clogging up so it seemed impossible to hide my fear. She looks up, concerned, but before she can even open her mouth Mrs. Shew walks in and tells everyone to spread apart.


"We are having a writing prompt today. I didn't tell you yesterday because I wanted it to be a surprise. I want to see how well you can manage time and how well you can make connections on the spot." I just about die as Valentine pulls her desk away from mine.

I wrote my paper lightning fast, it didn't matter anyway since my thoughts were consumed on what seemed to be my impending doom. My arms and legs were shaking and I was sweating profusely. The fear that had started as a tiny seed was now many vines wrapping around my heart, squeezing the life out of it like a boa constrictor. I wasn't sure how to feel because I didn't know the situation but that didn't stop me from watching the clock slowly tick by for the rest of class. The longer I stare the longer it seems to take for the minute had to go by another minute. It seemed like hours to go by when only five minutes were passing.

After twenty long minutes more people started to turn in their essays. I was the first one done and I could tell by the way Mrs. Shew kept looking at me that it had to be the worst thing she had read all day. Trying to avoid her glares I look over to Valentine. She was vigorously writing and erasing and rewriting. Her hair was falling from behind her ear and covered half of her face. She puts her pencil down and picks up her paper and rereads it, editing as she goes. Finally she gets up and turns the paper into Mrs. Shew. She sits back down and looks up to me. Her face turns from happiness to sadness when she sees me staring at her, like she suddenly remembered the worst dreadful thing when looking into my eyes. Could it be that she really was remembering something horrible?

The bell rings and I hurry out of class and down the hall, pushing my way through the sea of people. "Lloyd! Hey, stop I need to talk to you!" Valentine's voice seems to bounce off the walls and attack me but I merely ignore her pleads for me to stop and speed up. It didn't matter what she said now because I was just going to talk to Ashley and really understand what was going on. I stumble down the stairs and turn down the hallway, only one more turn before I came to her hallway. Just as I'm about to make the turn a strong arm grabs my shoulder and pulls me back. "Lloyd, please don't go over there. Please. I don't want you to get hurt. Not like that." Her eyes are pleading and my whole body seems to catch on fire.

"What the hell?" I push her away and take the turn. I watch in horror as Ashley wraps her arms around Sam, kissing him gently. The vines of fear grow thorns and cut me deep and cut me everywhere. Breathing becomes an impossible task as I gasp for air. My body now becomes icy hot, chilling me but burning me at the same time. All I can do is watch as he holds her the way I used to. She was everything for me and here I had lost it all, lost it to some jerk on my team. The same guy that was supposed to be on my side.

I gather enough energy to walk up to them but not enough to speak. "Oh Lloyd. I wish you would have just grown up. I figured you would mature as football season progressed but I see you are still a little boy. Sam, on the other hand, is a real stud and can handle school, practice, and a girlfriend. He has been for at least two weeks now, right baby?" She turns to him and bats her eyes and he just smiles at me. Two weeks? Two full fucking weeks? We were still dating. And what the hell was she talking about when she said I was a little kid?

"What are you talking about? I would mature? And what the hell is with this, you cheated on me." My voice started out quiet but got louder as the full anger pushed through me. She merely smirks and pulls away from Sam.

"Look Lloyd, you still act like a little kid. You are a high schooler now and I figured maybe now that you are the quarterback all the stress would make you grow up and start acting like one. Plus it made me look good, until you started being a baby about it. How do you think it looks for me when my 'fun, loving boyfriend' is too busy acting like the team's hero instead of being a real boyfriend. I just didn't look good on my reputation." I stare blankly at her. Her reputation? She dated me only to make her look good, only to make her seem like she had the best life ever? Did she even like me at all? Did she ever really mean the words that had come out of her mouth for the past two months or where those just other ways to "mature" me?

The anger that was pushing through me was incredibly strong and I couldn't control myself. "What the hell is your problem? You didn't even have the decency to tell me. Was this also a way to 'mature' me?"

"See Lloyd, you act like such a big baby about this. If I would have told you, you would have begged me to stay with you. And quite frankly I didn't want to stay with you." I glare in disbelief, first to her then to Sam. Who the hell did they think they were? King and Queen of the fucking world? Well one day reality was going to hit them and they would be the ones needing maturing and I would be the one striving.

"Trashy Whore." They were the only words that I could make come out as I turn and walk away from the cheating assholes. I walk away fast and as soon as I turn the corner I bust into a sprint turning down random hallways until I find a door marked "exit". I push my way out of the door and scream incoherent words and noises. Anger floods through me and I punch the rough bricks of the school's wall. I hit and kick and punch until blood slowly trickles out of my knuckles. Then I feel the heat rise the my head and I couldn't stop the tears that spill onto my checks.

What was with her? I had never seen her so heartless and soulless. It felt as though I didn't even matter to her and I was someone she didn't know. I tried so hard to make her happy and to make the relationship strive but nothing was ever good enough for her. I sit on the grass, legs up with my arms crossed over my knees. I stare off into the woods and feel sorrow wash over me and more tears find their way down my face. I hear someone walking in the grass but I ignore them and continue to gaze into the green sea that seemed so far away.

The person walking stops next to me and they sit next to me. "How ya doing QB? Want me to leave you be?" I shrug my shoulders but I scream at her in my head. Go away. Can't you see that I'm a useless freak just like all the other nobodies? Don't you know when to stop hurting someone? Don't you know when the final kick has already been made? "Look Lloyd, I know how it feels but you can't let it get to you. She is stupid and only dated you for your popularity. She is obviously not worth it." Her words stung and I glare so venomously that I was sure I would catch the trees on fire.

"Since you seem so good with telling me how to run my life why didn't you tell me? You obviously knew. Does it just seem more entertaining to watch someone fall from unimaginable heights then rub it in their face?" She stays quiet for a long time and soon I turn to see her staring straight out. Her face is completely calm, no emotion playing over them. I felt like I should say something or reach out to touch her but I feel too drained to move so I just sit there looking at her.

"Look I didn't know they were dating until today when I saw them hanging on each other right before fourth period. I told Sage to tell you and I tried to stop you after school but you just ignored me. I tried okay?" Her voice sounded as though it was intended to be full anger but it really only sounded far off and alone. She turns and looks me in the eyes. Her soft green eyes holding something mysterious and dark in them.

"Sorry." I look away, not being able to handle her gaze. I see her head turn and we listen to the band as the begin practicing. Neither of us move, not sure if we should stay or leave. After a long time she turns to me and gives me a small grin.

"I've got to go to practice QB. Sorry about everything. See you tomorrow morning?" She gives me a curious look and I nod. She smiles a hollow smile and walks away slowly, her feet dragging the ground. I look up and see the football players heading out for their practice. I get up and walk past the field, the team, the band, and soon the gate. I cross the street and let myself into the house. I felt like I had aged a few years and I felt sick to my stomach. I head to the shower and let the water get scalding hot. I step in and feel the water burn me, not moving, hoping it would burn through my horrible feeling.

I stay in there until the water turns to ice and I force myself out. I quickly change into clean, comfy clothes. I wander to my room and pull down the pictures of us. Us, that was a lie. Our whole relationship was a lie. I was merely her play thing and once I got boring she dropped me and found a new one, only interesting for a mere two months. My heart sank and I tear all the pictures in half. All a stupid lie. She was a fake, just as Valentine had said. A stupid faker. I throw her CD's and notes in the trash. Liar.

My head was spinning and I sit down on my bed to clear my mind. It felt like there was a large weight on my chest, pushing hard down on me, making it impossible to breathe. My whole body hurt, felt drained. I close my eyes and shake my head. I wasn't going to let her get to me. I wasn't going to let her win all over again. I pull out my phone and erase our pictures and all our texts. Without even thinking I delete her from my contacts list. Why did I need it anymore? There was no way I was going back to her. Anger pulses through me and I throw the phone away from me, almost like its touch burned me.

I lay on my bed and look up at the ceiling. I feel like I'm going to throw up and like my stomach is hollow and empty at the same time. I want to scream, loud and full of hate but the only noise that escapes from my mouth is a hoarse, scratchy groan. I carefully get up and make my way downstairs. My legs feel like jell-o and I have to hold myself up by holding onto the various sturdy items that are in the hall. Finally I get to the kitchen and I poor myself a glass of water. Then I sit at the table and attempt to do my homework. Everything seems blurry and hard to read. I write half ass answers and don't put much thought into any of it. Afterwards I slowly sip my water and stare at the clock. Mom would be home soon. She would instantly ask me about Ashley. Would I be able to handle that tonight? Would I stay strong or would I crack under the pressure and cry all over again? Will she be disappointed in me?

My heart sinks at the thought of her face falling when she hears what happened. Mom and Ashley were always super close. They went shopping a lot together and even had coffee days. But what makes it worse is the thought of what Mom might say. Would she tell me I didn't try hard enough to be with her or would she make Ashley sound like the dirty whore she was? Or would she just play sympathetic mother and not care either way? Whatever the case was I decide I'm not ready for it tonight. I quickly head to my room, almost falling down the stairs with my jelly legs, and curl into bed. I look around my room and feel the vines wrap more dangerously around my heart. It seems so empty and lonely. I feel so empty and lonely.

As I start to drift off to sleep I hear my phone vibrate. I roll over and see its front screen all lit up on the other side of my room. I groggily get up and grab it. Steve had called me and many other football players texted me. Mostly scalding me for not going to practice. One came from an unknown number. It read: "I hope you start to feel better. I always thought Sam was a prick. I'll hold him down while you kick his ass if you want. Well I'mma go. Be happy QB." Valentine. A small smile cracks on my face even though I still felt horribly worthless. Valentine would help me through it, she cared. My eyes widen as I remember I had to go to school early for that project. I hurry to bed and turn my phone off. My heavy eyes fall shut as I think of Valentine beating the living s*** out of Sam.