“Ugh I give up” I slammed my laptop shut, a headache already on its way. I pinched the bridge of my nose to try to ease the ache that was slowly spreading to the backs of my eyeballs. I'm going to fail I know it, there's nothing I can do, I might as well move back in with my parents because its obvious, a career is out of the question for me. I shuddered at the thought of living my life under my parent's roof.“oh don’t be so dramatic Ali” said my best friend of 13 years. She peeked over the book she was reading, her glossy blond hair shining as she shook it over her shoulders. “Please do not act like your not going to ace your final. Honestly, some of us are actually in jeopardy of failing, so save your complaints for someone who will feel sympathy for you.” Ella took the pillow that she was laying on and threw it at my head, her sea green eyes sparkling with amusement. I dodged it just in time, clutching my laptop to my chest to keep it away from the pillow's warpath. “Hey!” I yelled as Ella rolled over on my bed cracking up, probably at my furious/terrified expression “ watch yourself I have precious cargo here.” I said gesturing to my computer that had all my almost finished essays for all of my classes. “So sorry” said Ella sarcastically. I narrowed my eyes at her and stormed forward, looking to draw blood. “whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down there Bertha. I was just kidding, jeez you are so touchy these days.” I laughed despite my mood and slapped Ella on the butt so she knew I was kidding. “I'm sorry Ell, I'm just so stressed you know? Were about to Graduate from college and I really just want to nail my finals.”Ella's expression softened. Out of everyone in my life Ella understood me the most. She understands why I obsess over school and grades,Why I moved out as soon as I was 18. My parents don’t understand me at all. Looking at my mom and I, you can definitely tell we are related. I’m basically a spitting image of her. The only thing we have in common is our looks. With our Latin induced, caramel skin, black hair and brown eyes, we look more like sisters than anything. When anyone meets my mother, they have a sudden understanding of why even I, her own flesh and blood have trouble enjoying her presence. I mean really, personality wise, its shocking that I even came from her womb. My dad, who seems to actually have a heart and care about people unlike someone mentioned earlier, is utterly spineless when it comes to my mother. If I wasn’t so disappointed in him for letting Maria control everything he does, he would actually be considered an OK dad. To them, or at least Maria, nothing I do is ever right. Straight A's in high school wasn't enough. Being valedictorian didn't matter. Receiving a full ride scholarship to Berkeley was considered 'meh' in their eyes. I recalled the conversation my mother and I had when I graduated high school with honors, my accomplishments admired by my peers and teachers, a road full of opportunities stretched out in front of me.

I clutched my diploma in my hand as I struggled to keep up with Maria as she walked with a fierce determination back to our car. For a woman in heels she sure moved like a bat out of hell. God forbid she actually socialize with the public population. Wouldn’t want her to miss a meeting or break a nail.
“Well, Alexandria. The easiest and most juvenile part of your life is officially over.” she said turning around to face me. “I hope you will take your life and education more seriously in college, instead of diddle daddling in that silly hobby of yours. Its useless, you know; playing on your computer, writing your ridiculous stories. You could put your efforts in a more productive area, like towards getting your degree in law.”she said as she picked a piece of lint off her perfectly tailored, crisp suit.
I looked at my mother in shock. Anger bubbled under my skin at the cold way she talked about my passion. I looked into her hard, emotionless eyes and saw the person that I refused to become. So blinded by the matters of the world, that choking out the desire and joy of others was the only way to keep her control. I hardened my heart towards my mother, all hope of winning her approval dead. With my voice steady and my words cold I replied to the woman who gave birth to me.
“I'm sorry my life is such a disappointment to you mother, however what I choose to do with my life is something that no longer requires your concern. Those silly stories, as you so eloquently put it are the only things that keep me sane while I endure your less than desirable company and you can bet that my efforts will surely be put in that area rather than in something that I would hate to have as a career.” she gasped at me, her perfectly plucked eyebrows disappearing into her hairline. rage flashing in her eyes, I took a long look at Maria, her black curly hair blowing in the wind. An occasional strand, sicking to her glossed lips. I tried to picture the person she maybe used to be, someone who believed in love and making mistakes and listening to the desires of your heart rather than the expectations of others. I searched her face for something, I'm not sure what. I glanced down at my shoes, and after adjusting my cap and gown, stuck out my hand for her to shake. She hesitated for a moment but after clearing her throat, shook my hand twice. “I appreciate all that you have done for me mother, Ill never forget the part you played in my life and the sacrifices you must have made. Goodbye.” I turned around and with my dignity still in tact, weaved through the crowd, willing my tears to stay at bay.

I sighed, suddenly exhausted by where my thoughts had taken me. Ella got up from the bed, sensing the source of my mood. She came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. Her cheek was pressed against mine as she comforted me. “hey. Don’t worry about your parents OK?” I nodded my head slightly, looking down at my fingernails which were bitten down to nubs. “you walk into class next week and you go make those finals wish they were never born.” I laughed halfheartedly, Ella turned me around to face her. Compassion in her face, she tucked my hair behind my ear. “don’t do it for them Alexandria Larson. Do it for you, OK?” I shook my head assuredly with my chin angled up, stubbornly. “that’s my girl” said Ella giving me a giant hug. I shook off thoughts of my parents and took a deep breath. “Alright” I said “enough with all this studying crap, I'm famished. You want to go grab a bite to eat?” Ella jumped up and down excitedly at the suggestion, her blond locks bouncing with the movement. I rolled my eyes at her dramatic reaction. “oooo-oooo- yes, lets go. Can we go to that new Thai place that just opened up?” I groaned at her suggestion. “Ell, you know what Thai food does to me.” Ella frowned “so drink a bunch of Pepto Bismol before we go.” I sighed, obviously overruled in my protest. “fine but if I spend the whole night in the bathroom again like last time, I will hurt you.” I threatened. “yeah yeah yeah, get a move on scuttlebutt, before I lose my patience.” I elbowed Ella in the ribs, but obeyed her command nonetheless.


We approached my car, a black Camaro with blue racing stripes, or the black mamba as I like to call her. My parents may criticize everything I do, but what they cant complain about is my taste in cars. It took 3 years of me busing tables and flirting with the customers to get more tips at the local diner for me to finally be able to purchase this bad boy. I clicked the unlock button on my keys, sighing in contentment as her lights flashed twice. I ran my hand over her hood. I kissed my fingertips and lightly placed them on the windshield. Ella walked past me rolling her eyes. “you are so ridiculous”she said. I scoffed at her comment “no seriously are you sure you weren’t secretly born a man or something?” she wiggled her eyes suggestively at me. As ridiculous as Ella was, she was right. I probably should have been born a man. While I enjoy things like cars, video games and playing baseball, Ella practically lives at the mall. I don’t think shes ever even picked up a piece of athletic equipment in her entire life and if you even mention COD she breaks out in hives at the thought of so much violence compacted in one video game. Sometimes I wonder how two people who seem to be such polar opposites can be so close. Ella might as well be my sister considering all we have been through together. “oh shut up, you don’t have to be a man to appreciate the beauty of a fine piece of machinery” she sighed and got in the car. We drove to the Thai restaurant jamming to my dub step playlist. We even went so far as to stick our hands out the window and fist pump to the beat. Cars honked in protest but we didn’t care. When Ella and I are out together we act like such idiots its hardly a mystery why we are still single. We arrived at the restaurant oo-ing and ah-ing at the authentic décor. The hostess with blond hair, fake tits and a smile that gave me the Heebie Jeebies guided us to our table. We tried to act as sophisticated as possible while she was in ear shot but as soon as she left we started cracking up. “oh my God Ali! We are like the two most inappropriately dressed people here!” I looked around at all the other tables and snorted accidentally. My cheeks flamed as I snapped my hand over my mouth in mortification. Ella was right; everyone surrounding us was dressed elegantly with their fancy dresses and sparkling jewelry. Ella and I took the time to look over our attire. Ella was dressed casually with her Berkeley sweatshirt and jean shorts with her favorite pair of warn down converse. I started to laugh as I took in her appearance but stopped once I realized what I was wearing. I had on a white t shirt with a flannel jacket tied around my waste and my favorite pair of jeans that consisted of more holes than actual fabric and my most comfortable pair of moccasins. With my hair tied up in a sloppy pony tail, I think I topped the charts of the most unattractive female who ever lived. We stared wide eyed at each other and scurried into our seats as fast as possible so no one would notice us. We looked around inconspicuously to see if anyone cared that there were two bums crashing their extremely eloquent dinner. Aside from a few eye rolls and dirty looks no one seemed to pay any attention to us. “lets just eat as fast as possible and get the heck out of here” I said , trying to shield myself with my menu. “agreed.” said Ella, mirroring my technique. Ella and I both got things we couldn’t pronounce and finally calmed down once we got situated. As we waited for our food to arrive we entertained ourselves by making up the conversations that other snobbish tables were having. After making fun of every snooty patron in the restaurant we were soon wiping tears away from our eyes. “oh my gosh look at those people over there” said Ella quietly, pointing over my shoulder. I pretended to sip my drink as I casually glanced behind me. What I saw made me choke on my wine as I took in the scene. An attractive blond sat rather closely to a lanky gray haired man. The guy stuck his tongue in her ear and nibbled on her lobe, while running is most likely clammy hands up her thigh. The girl looked disgusted but tried to act like she was enjoying it for the man's benefit. The blond looked familiar so I squinted my eyes to make out who she was. I gasped as the realization hit. I turned around and scream/whispered “El do you know who that is?” Ella looked up from her food mid-chew. “wha-?” I knocked her fork out of her hand so she would focus. “that's Victoria Micheals sitting with that man over there!” Victoria Micheals was every high school stereotype. We’ve been in the same school since 1st grade and her bad personality seems to get worse with age. With blonde hair that flows to her waist and green eyes that sparkle with wickedness, she can merely look at you and your self esteem plummets to the floor. “Icky Vicky? ew- I can't stand that hooker. Like seriously why are all the gorgeous people such douches? Its like the prettier you are the more your personality sucks” I jumped in my seat as Ella suddenly gasped. “ what?” I said, looking back at the table. “that guy is my English professor, Mr. Campbell. Oh my gosh she's on a date with him? That skank! I bet shes sleeping with him just so she can get an A in his class.” said Ella, practically fuming. I watched as Victoria excused herself from the table, probably to go to the restroom and wipe the spit from her eardrum. I snickered at my thoughts. Victoria walked past us but stopped when she looked over and realized who we were. Ella cursed under her breath and we both became conveniently interested in our meals. She approached us with perfect swinging hips and a mischievous look in her eye, I glanced at Ella and gave her a warning look. Ella gritted her teeth and stabbed at her food with unnecessary force.

“well look who it is!” she exclaimed with fake enthusiasm. I sighed as I took in her dress. She looked gorgeous. Crap. She wore a beautiful black dress with a sweetheart neckline and see through lace netting around her chest, which attached to the delicate fabric that hung elegantly over her shoulders, contrasting perfectly with her creamy skin. The dress hugged her body in a way that should be illegal and only attainable through Photoshop. “its Abbey and Elizabeth right?” she said with a grin so sickly sweet, it could rot your teeth. I cleared my throat and with as much politeness that I could muster replied. “No Icky- er Victoria its actually Ali and Ella, but don’t worry about it. we’ve only lived in the same town and gone to the same school since elementary school. So its not like you should actually know who we are.” I said with a conniving grin. She raised her perfectly plucked eyebrow at my reply and appraised my outfit with a sneer. I pinched the bridge of my nose as the headache from earlier reared its ugly head again. “My my my, you girls sure do clean up nice don’t you?” Ella kicked me under the table. I looked at her furious expression as we communicated silently to one another.

Please let me slap her

don't Ella

she is such a bit-

“I absolutely love your outfit Elizabeth where on earth did you find something so...so flattering?” Victoria said, pointing her perfectly polished fingernail in Ella's direction; and at that moment I felt real bad for the girl because she was about to experience the wrath of Ella, which is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy A.K.A Victoria Micheals. “oh no” I said under my breath. Ella's fork dropped with a loud clang, her fists clenched so tight I expected her skin to split over the knuckles or something. “OK, first of all its ELLA. Get that through your extremely inattentive, dimwitted brain, and you know what Icky Vicky?” said Ella in a menacing tone. “ why don’t you take your slutty little self and fake tits back over to your date. Yeah I'm sure professor Campbell cant wait to get out of here so the two of you can get down to business.” Victoria gasped at Ella and glanced around to make sure no one heard the accusation. “How dare yo-” Ella put a hand up to interrupt her. “yeah um, you're excused. Uh-buh-by.” Victoria stammered, turned red and stormed off back to her table. I wiggled my fingers at her and laughed once she was gone. “oh my gosh El, I frickin' love you so much right now.” she laughed “come on lets get out of here” she said standing up. We paid our bill, left a nifty tip and exited the restaurant with our heads held high.


We got back to our apartment at 10:00, exhausted. Wow, what college students we are. Its a Friday night, the city is alive with parties and sexy men and here we are getting ready for bed, I thought to myself. “we are such losers” said Ella, apparently on the same page as me. “tell me about it” I huffed , while collapsing on our sofa. “want to watch a movie?” I asked. “sure” Ella perked up at the suggestion. “there’s this movie that I have been dying to see. Its called “Amber Alert” or something like that.” I smiled at her enthusiasm. “sounds good to me, lets shower put our pajamas on and meet back here in like 30 minutes OK?” Ella ran over to me, put her hand over mine and yelled “BREAK” then clapped. I chuckled at her and got up to go shower. I went into my shoebox of a room to set out my clothes and grab my toiletries. I wasn’t watching where I was going and ended up stubbing my toe on the end of my dresser. “OWW, Owwie, ouch, ouch. Stupid dresser” I grumbled as I made my way to the bathroom and eased into the heated shower. I groaned as the water eased my aching muscles. I lathered my body and hair, spending more time than necessary under the pounding jets of the shower head. I unwillingly climbed out of the shower and in just my towel, headed back to my room. “Hurry the heck up Ali! You take forever!”Ella pounded on my door, I opened it long enough to punch her in the boob and then closed It again. “OUCH!” she yelled. I chuckled as I dressed in my tweetie bird shorts and tank top. I walked into the living room, only to be attacked by Ella who was dead set on getting a few punches in herself. After a few minutes and many boob punches later, we were settled on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and our favorite movie blanket. It took a little searching but eventually I found the movie Ella was talking about on pay per view. The film was based on a true story about 2 best friends who spotted an amber alert vehicle on the road while they were filming an audition tape for a reality show and they decide to follow the car, when the police are delayed.” as the movie started, I was instantly intrigued. I clutched onto Ella's arm during the intense scenes and found myself crying as I thought of this happening to anyone. I wiped away the last of my tears as the credits rolled. I looked over to Ella who was doing the same. “God, that's so awful.” said Ella, sniffling. “I know...Man I really feel like going out and kicking a bunch of sex offenders butts right now.” Ella laughed “I'm right behind you girl.” she said, giving me a small hug. “OK” I said, drying the rest of my tears. “ I think we need a happy movie now, I cant go to bed this depressed.” Ella nodded her head in agreement. It was silent for a few minutes. we both looked at each other, knowing what the other was thinking. “THE NOTEBOOK” we squealed at the same time. After a little bit of fan-girling, booty shaking and laughing we finally put the movie in and got settled again. We sighed, longingly at our favorite parts and recited our favorite lines to each other. After it ended, we both decided to call it a night. We cleaned up our mess and shuffled off to our separate rooms. “love you Ali” said Ella, yawning.”love you too Ella” I replied. I closed the door to my room and jumped into my bed, sighing as my precious blankets and pillows welcomed me with open arms. I stared at my ceiling fan, waiting for the gentle fog of sleep to take me over. After a few minutes I tossed onto my right side, hoping the new angle will make me more comfortable. My mind began to race with thoughts that were not welcome at such a late hour. The sexual predator's face from the movie appeared whenever I closed my eyes. His slicked back hair, black beady eyes that had about as much appeal as a serpent's. A smile, curled up at one side that, although may seem friendly at first, promises only suffering and despair. Disgust overtook me and I knew sleep would be impossible for the next few hours. Its so hard to believe that people, who were created for good by a God who Is nothing but good, could be capable of such a despicable act. My eyes brimmed over with tears at the thought of any child suffering like those that I have heard and read about. I felt hopeless, utterly useless because I had no power, no way to help. There is probably a little girl or boy out there in the world trapped, all alone with their destiny already decided for them by a pervert who cares for nothing but getting himself off on the pain of others. Knowing that I would be exhausted tomorrow if I didn’t get enough sleep, I climbed out of bed and slugged over to the medicine cabinet in our bathroom. Shaking off the thoughts that occupied my mind, I pulled out my trusty NyQuil and took a shot. Guilt settled low in my stomach at the prospect of having to take flu medicine to sleep, but whatever, I was desperate. I crawled back into bed, relived that the drowsiness finally started to settle in. I fell under the influence of sleep, the last thing to cross my mind was the evil, black eyes of the man who was sure to lurk into my nightmares.