Dividing Lines | Teen Ink

Dividing Lines

January 2, 2016
By ColdConsequences BRONZE, Downingtown, Pennsylvania
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ColdConsequences BRONZE, Downingtown, Pennsylvania
3 articles 1 photo 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life." - Oscar Wilde


The shaking would not stop. I tried thinking it was just part of the vivid dream I was having a few minutes ago. The female voice whispering in my ear was not going away.
“Cassidy,” It said. The voice was cold, but so familiar.
“Cassidy wake up,” It said again.
My eyes slowly began to open. Rolling on my back, I just barely saw a woman standing over me. Her image was blurry at first, but soon my vision returned and I was fully aware of my mother standing on the other side of the bed. She was in a light blue dress and held her tan heels in one hand while her arms were crossed and her lips in a tight flat line. 
“Get ready for school.” She said before leaving my room.
Pulling the covers from my body, I pushed myself out of the bed, rubbing my tired eyes and stretching the limbs in my legs. The bright morning sun streamed through my curtains; illuminating every part of the room it could reach. I grabbed a T-shirt and a pair of jeans before trudging into the bathroom and set the shower water on full blast.
The hot water burned my skin, turning patches of it red while I wash my hair and body. I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and drying myself. Wrapping the towel around my body, I dried off and pulled the clean clothes on. 
Our cat, Crow, lifted himself from the floor as he saw me coming down the hallway. He followed me down to the kitchen where my older brother and my mom were hunched over the counter eating cereal.
“Get this cat out of my face.” My brother, Aaron, said after Crow nudged his head against Aarons’ leg.
“You know, you could be a little bit nicer to him.” I took a bite out of my cereal bar.
“I would if he didn’t wake me up at 5:30 meowing at my door.” The boy said as he dug into his giant bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios.
“Aw but he only wants some love.” I teased. He flipped me off before returning to his cereal bowl.
“Aaron!” My mother smacked the side of his head. “Not in my house.”
“Yes, mom.” He grumbled.
“Cass, must you wear that outfit? You have a lovely yellow skirt I bought for you last week.” My mother said, waving her hand at my clothing.
“Yellow isn’t my color.”
“Why? Because it’s happy?” Aaron mocked me.
I gave tight, sarcastic smile. “Well, I’d love to stick around and chat but school is waiting.” I tossed the wrapper into the wastebasket and kissed my mothers cheek before heading outside.
“Hey! When are you going to get a job?” Aaron yelled.
“When you move out of the house!” I yelled back before the shutting the door behind me. I start the car and pull out of the driveway.
He’s twenty-four for the love of God. And he has enough money to get a place yet he chooses to stay. They say I’m the lazy one.
I pulled into the parking lot of my school. Turning off the car and stepping out, I made my way to the large brick red building covered in old dying vines and wilted flowers. The garden keeper never really bothered to take care of the greens.
Crash was waiting for me by my locker. He stood there with his arms crossed and one leg propped up against the locker. He wore his favorite leather jacket, black jeans, and red t-shirt that matched his Vans. Crash was a handsome guy. He was tall with dirty blond hair and blue eyes and a skull tattoo on his left arm. Girls would practically throw themselves at him.
“Well it’s about time you got here, little red.” He laughed. ‘Little red’ was his nickname for me due to my red hair and my height.
“I got a little held up in traffic.” I said, grabbing the necessary books and papers out of my locker.
“So, have you seen the new girl?” He nudged me.
“What about her?” I said.
“Dude.” His hand clasped my shoulder. “She’s ridiculously hot.”
I laughed. “You think practically every girl is hot.”
“Yes.” He emphasized the ‘E’. “But this girl is like, really, really hot.”
I shook my head. “Whatever you say, loser. Doesn’t matter to me.” 
He scuffed and raised an eyebrow. “Cass, we both know that isn’t true.”
I glared at him and he back off. I’ll let you in on the big secret. I’m gay. I am very, very gay. I live in an extremely Catholic household. I went to a Catholic elementary and middle school, but when it was time for me to go to high school, I told my mom I was sick of Catholic school and I wanted to go to public school. After a very long talk with both my father and myself, she finally agreed. During freshman year, I realized I was gay and I refused to date anyone in fear of my mother finding out. Of course, I’ve had a few truth or dare kisses with girls and I’m pretty sure I made out with a friend of mine at a party last year.
I followed Crash down the hall and into our first period class, which was History. We were studying the Middle East countries. Believe it or not, it’s rather fascinating.
Crash nudged me. “That’s her.” He pointed to a girl toward the back row. She had wavy blonde hair parted on the far left side, a silver nose piercing, and what looked to be a rose tattoo on her upper right arm. She was hunched over a notebook scribbling down words.
“Well geez,” I said. “She’s cute…”
“I told you!” Crash clasped my back.
Her brows furrowed together, I could tell a million thoughts were running through her head. She really was cute…Stop Cass, you can’t think like that.
I took my seat next to Crash and forced myself not to look back at the blonde. Mr. West stood from his chair and began a lecture on the refugees in Syria. I glanced around the room, seeing half the class weary with tired eyes. One kid was literally asleep, his head on top of his arms and a small amount a drool seeping from his mouth.
The history teacher droned on, barely even noticing the class was out cold. His grumpy, old deep voice finally came to a halt when the bell rang. Annoyed that he did not get to finish the lecture, he put the chalk down and shooed us out the door.
From the corner of my eye, I could see the girl franticly stuffing papers and pens into her bag.
“Hey, little redhead?” Crash called to me. I looked back at him. “You coming?” He had a knowing smile across his lips. I nodded and followed him to our next class.

The day dragged on way too slow for my liking, but finally I was seated in my car with my phone pulled in and All Time Low playing through the speakers. I pulled out of the parking space and stopped at a line of traffic trying to escape the lot. I picked up my phone to change the song. A car honked behind me. I threw the phone down and pressed on the gas pedal without looking up right away. A girl was in front of me. I slammed on the break. A flash of blonde hair backed up in a panic and she must have tripped over her own feet because she was on the ground with books everywhere. I got out of the car to check to see if she was okay. 
Take a wild guess on who I just almost hit. 
“God, I’m really sorry.” I offer a hand to her. She looks at me tentatively before grasping it. I pulled her up and awkwardly bend down to retrieve her books. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t look up in time.”
The girl smiled. It was only a tug at the right corner of her lips. “It’s okay.” She took the books from my hands. “Don’t worry, I’m still alive.” She joked.
“Well, I’m glad you are.” I ran a hand through my hair. “It would have sucked if you weren’t.”
She laughed and her eyes met the ground for a split second. She held out her hand. “Madison Allman,”
I immediately shook it. “Cassie Schaeffer,”
“It’s nice to meet you, Cassie.” Madison raised her eyebrows. “Thank you for not running over me.”
I nodded, “It was my pleasure.” She laughed. I thought for a second. “Hey, would you like to get some coffee with me?”
Madison raised an eyebrow. “Is it acceptable to be taken out by the person that almost killed you?” She had a playful smile on her face.
I shrugged. “As long as they’re offering to pay.”
“Well then, by all means, yes let’s go.” My heart pace didn’t pick up at all.
She followed me into the car. I turned the music back on and successfully left the parking lot without almost hitting any more students.
“I love All Time Low.” I heard her say.
“So, you have a good taste in music?” I smiled.
“Would it be a deal breaker if I didn’t?” She laughed.
I sighed, “No, I’d deal with it.”
“I must be special then.”
“Don’t let it go to your head.” I said. She laughed.
“No promises,”
I pulled into the Starbucks. Madison followed me into the building. I told her to find a table while I got the drinks. The atmosphere of the coffee shop was relaxing. People were clicking away at their laptops, enjoying the free Wi-Fi and sipping at their mocha. A woman sat in the back, holding a muffin and reading a James Patterson book. Two teenagers were in the far corner holding hands, laughing and just appreciating their time together.
I ordered a regular coffee with French vanilla and a pumpkin spice latte. Madison took a table by the window. I set the coffee in front of her and took a seat.
“So, where are you from?” I asked, taking a sip from my cup.
“Michigan. My dad got offered a job out here.”  
“Do you like it here?”
Madison shrugged, “It’s not bad so far.” She hesitated for a second. “That guy you were hanging out with…is he your boyfriend?”
I almost choked on my drink. “Crash? God, no. He’s my best friend. Completely platonic.”
“You guys seemed close. I couldn’t tell if you were a thing.” She laughed a little.
“We’re not. In fact, we’re far from it. He’s more like a brother.” Madison almost looked relieved. I almost hoped she wasn’t interested in him.
“Do you like him?”
She shook her head. “No. I was just curious.” I might have thanked God a little.
We talked a little more over the next few hours. Her dad works with the Best Buy industry and they asked him to relocate to Oregon. Madison is a writer and she’s working on her own book, which I found very impressive since I can barely commit to finishing a drawing. I made her promise to let me read some of it later. She wants to be an author and maybe teach English classes in High School. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to go back to school after college, but I’m not one to judge. Madison loves kids, but she said she would rather adopt than give birth. She has an older sister named Leslie who is a senior at college in California studying Government Politics and is also engaged to guy named Dominic. Madison also has a husky named Ezra who is by far the cutest dog I’ve ever seen in my life.
I checked the time. It was almost six. “I need to get home before dinner.” I threw out the coffee cups. “I’ll drive you home.”
Madison nodded and followed me out of the coffee shop and to the car. She directed me to her house, which was only a few minutes away from school. I pulled up next to a small, cute cream-colored house with various flowers, bushes and a few trees that were probably planted by the development owners.
Before Madison got out, she turned to face me. “I had fun.” She smiled.
“Me too.” I smiled back.
She handed me her number. “Text me if you want to hang out again.” She threw me one last grin before jumping out of the car and entering her house.
I could feel my heart race pounding against my chest all the way home.

The sound of Aaron’s music blasting from the basement was not helping the growing headache I was having. He works out almost every night. If you ask me, he still has that beer belly he’s been trying to work off for months. The chemistry books sat in front of me with papers and pencils scrawled across the floor. I hated this. Chemistry was not my greatest subject and I need to pass next week’s test in order to pass this marking period. The thunder rumbled outside while the rain pounded against my window. I rolled onto my back and closed my eyes, trying to get my thoughts together.
“Honey?” My mother knocked on my door. “Do you want dinner?”
“Yeah, I’ll be down in a second.” My mother nodded and went back downstairs to call my brother up. I shut the textbook and pushed the papers aside.
She already had the table set up and there was a bowl of potatoes, broccoli, and barbecue chicken sitting out. My mother was probably one of the best cooks I know. We don’t always get a home cooked meal because she works so often, but it’s nice when we do.
I grabbed a Diet Coke and took a seat at the table where my mother and Aaron joined me. They both held out their hands to me. Aaron said prayers. I’m not religious in any way and Aaron constantly makes fun of me for it.
“So, Cassie. How was school?” Mom said as she dug into her plate of food.
I shrugged. “It was okay. I met a new friend. We went for coffee after school.”
“That’s nice, dear. What’s his name?” Mom said.
“She’s a girl. Her name is Madison.”
“Oh,” She almost sounded disappointed. “Well, maybe you could invite her over for dinner some time.” She smiled. I knew she was hoping I’d meet a boy I would consider dating.
“Hey, what about that guy Crash?” Aaron said in between mouthfuls of chicken. “He’s pretty good looking, right?”
I shrugged. “Crash is just a friend.”
“I don’t understand why he doesn’t go by Kendall.” Mom said. “It’s such a nice name. Crash just sounds so violent.”
Yes, Crash’s real name is Kendall. It’s also his father’s name so he refuses to go by it. Crash’s father left when he was seven and his brother Caleb was a baby. 
“He hates it.” I simply said.
“That’s a shame.” Mom sighed.
“Maybe you’re not into him because you’re a lesbian.” Aaron joked. Ha. If only he knew.
“Aaron! Don’t bring your sister down to that level.” Mom pointed her fork at him. Wow, okay.
Aaron flinched, “Ouch!” He shot a glare at me. I gave him a tight, sarcastic smile in return. 
“Alright, dear.” Mom said. “Help clean up the table.” She stuffed the last of the potatoes in her mouth. “Cass, why don’t you go back upstairs and study?” I nodded and brought my plate over to the sink before escaping back to my room.
So, yeah. That is why I haven’t come out to my family. Our dinners are not always this bad. We can have really nice conversations and believe or not, Aaron can be pretty funny. They’re just so judgmental about topics they know nothing about. I don’t want to call them homophobic, but if I came out to them, I wouldn’t be getting any “Oh, it’s okay, dear. We’ll love you no matter what.” I’ll get the “You’re going to hell if you keep this up,” kind of thing. Go me.
When I got back to my room, my phone vibrated in my pocket. Crash’s face lit up on the screen.
“What’s up, loser?”
“Little red! What are you up to?” He said.
“I was about to continue studying.” I fell back on my bed and pushed the books and papers aside.
“It’s Friday night, woman! I got tickets to this band I’ve been dying to see and I’m dragging you with me.”
“I don’t know if tonight is a good night, Crash.”
“Too late. I’m already parked outside your house. Get your ass in gear and let’s go!”
I rolled my eyes. He’s insane sometimes. I throw on my leather jacket and boots before leaving.
“Where are you going, honey?” My mom asked while she was washing dishes.
“I’m going to hang out with Crash.” I learned a while ago to just not tell mom about parties or concerts.
“Don’t be back too late.” She smiled and went back to cleaning.
Crash leaned against his car, foot tapping against the pavement and a jokingly annoyed look on his face. “About time, little red.”
I playfully punched him on the arm. “Shut up, who are we going to see?”
Once we were in his car, he pulled out two printed out tickets and handed one to me. “Just our favorite band,”
“You got us tickets to Uprising?!”
“Indeed and the concert is in two hours.”
“Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s go!”
“Okay, pushy.” He laughed, and drove in the direction of the concert.



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