Neisse's Teen years | Teen Ink

Neisse's Teen years

January 15, 2011
By MarguriteV. BRONZE, Portlnd, Oregon
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MarguriteV. BRONZE, Portlnd, Oregon
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Favorite Quote:
"what am i not the right kind of monster for you bella"

"Nessie honey, go get the last box out of the kitchen, it's on the floor by the door." Mom said as she walked out to uncle Emmett's truck with some boxes full of cups that we don't even use. "I can't believe we're moving." I said under my breath as I picked up the box of dishes out of the kitchen. "Sweetheart, you know you need to go to school and you can't go here. We went to the schools not even 7 years ago and we graduated. There is no way they will believe that we have a daughter that is the 9th grade already." Dad said putting his arm around me and kissing my forehead with a box in his other hand. I rolled my eyes because I knew he was right. "I know, but I don't want to move to Alaska and I don't want to move with out Jacob. Can I at least tell him before we go that I miss him?" I whined for the millionth time, hoping that this time they would listen to what I had to say, and let me at least tell him goodbye. "I'm sorry Nessie, but we have to move and I think it is best if Jacob doesn't know we're leaving. It will be easier for you two to part if he is just left in the dark about this, trust me I know Jacob" Mom said with a cold tone as if she knew Jacob at all. "But you really don't know him" I mumbled as I sat on the porch... It has killed me not seeing Jacob for the last two months. I told him I was in trouble, and couldn't see him. He and I still talked on the phone every night and met up sometimes in are secret spot. We saw each other every few days, but now that I know I can never see him again, I don't know what I will do being so far away from him, so out of touch. I sat there on the porch of my old house daydreaming about my best friend and how cold I was being for leaving and just forgetting. I just hope he doesn't forget about me as I am to him. "Come on Nessie" Mom said opening the truck door for me, motioning for me to get in, and walking to the other side to drive the huge truck. I walked the slowest I have ever, barley picking up my feet. I never wanted to go so I saved the little time I had to stay feeling the need to run the other way. To leave everything I know and try to be something I am not... That wasn't what I planned to do before I go to high school. They just don't understand. I can't just leave Jacob behind and not say goodbye I need him. I will have to return to tell him the truth about what is going on. I just have to. My mom can just leave, and so can my dad, but I will return. "Some time today, Renesmee." my mom said getting annoyed and frustrated with my stubbornness. When I finally got into the car, I didn't look at her but kept my eyes on the house I once called home. I started to think about the new house that I will not settle into because I know I will not stay long for returning was now my biggest goal. The trip to Alaska was quiet. I gave my parents both the silent treatment the whole way. I was even trying to keep my thoughts to myself so my Dad would not get anything from me either. I was madder then the time he told me not to kill that old lady and then two days later she passed away. That was so stupid. I was so mad I could rip out their throats out. But I didn't because they're my parents and I love them. Just not what they do or make me do. That is what I felt then but right now I have a urge to kill them and run home. I wish aunt Alice were still here. She would be in my favor to stay . She loved this house as much as I did and forks was something that she loved a lot too, but she and Jasper are gone. They wanted to have some alone time doing god knows what for the past year. Ew. But I am surprised that there still gone, I mean Jasper was getting really good in public places so why stay away any longer? I slowly saw the change in the outside world. The day was turning to night and the clouds were coming in to cover up the night sky. I also started to see less and less cars as we got off of the freeway and more snow, ice and trees. I kept looking outside for Jacob's rabbit to come save me from this nightmare, but it never came. It was like he didn't even know something was wrong. Well, how could he? I was so mean just to stop talking to him. He did not even know about the move, so how could he stop it? Well how could I?. Mom and dad stopped a few times to talk to each other and when they did I stayed in the car just sipping away at my blood-in-a-cup. I love it, Jacob made it for me when I wanted blood, but I was hanging with him, he mixed blood and raspberries to make something more tolerable to his nose. Ever since then this is the way I drink my blood. It is perfect since I am human as well as I am a vampire. But after this I think I am more vampire than anything else. Cold, Heartless and Forgetting. Just like my mother. I do not know how my dad could say to me that she was once not like this, that once she loved Jacob very much when she was human...but now she wants to kill him every second there near each other. I do not see why she is such a b***h to him, what I have heard they go far back? I don't know how I can live through high school without him, or even live at all. He was there whenever I needed help in the past, or just needing a friend. Now I am on my own. It's just me against the world and right now the world is winning. We had to take a boat to get across the water to get to the house. It took forever. I mean hours just to show and then two hours to get crossed the stupid river to are doc. When we got on, there was not that many people so I was happy to be as alone as possible at the moment. I don't think that I could control my anger. I felt like I might bite some one right now...If they would come near. Not because I was hungry or because someone smelled really good, but because I just wanted for someone to feel my pain, to feel this helpless under my grip. To die with my hands to blame so everyone would see that I am not happy and that I will get what I want...I want Jacob. I thought as I sat down on a crate away from everyone. "Dear, do you want something to eat or drink"? A old man asked sitting next to me on another crate, with his cane right between his little old legs shaking and wobbling. I could bite his throat and he couldn't make a sound, but that little girl with the pink balloon would see and scream, then I would have to take her out to. That would be easy. Just brake her neck. As I do that I could have the old man on his knees as I simply walk over there. But when I take the little girl out her mother would see that she is gone, then I would have to take her poor mother out too. Well then I would have to just take the whole boat out after that. I mean what would the point be if I didn't. There is about fifteen people on here not including the driver and my parents. Oh crap! My dad would stop me...Then I would have to explain why I have thoughts to kill innocent people and then I would have to tell them that I miss my Jacob, and start to cry again. "Young lady...Do you want anything to eat, I have plenty." the old man asked again scooting really close, so close I could smell his blood just running threw out his body. "Yeah, you". I growled uncontrolled as I felt my throat burn for his blood. He was to close for his own good. " I am not scared...Honey, I know what you are, no need to get all worked up". He said all calmly looking at me with his big gray eyes full of secrets that I was now so curios to know. "". I shuddered in confusion as I thought help me to my dad. I hoped he would hear because I couldn't understand why the old man would not run and make a big deal about me wanting to eat him. I could still feel my thirst getting harder to fight off when I let my self think those awful thoughts. But the were oh-so-enjoyable. I could not fight it off much longer. I thought this all so my father would come and stop me from taking this man...but it is too late. I lunged for his throat where I could see his old vanes pumping with sweet, hot blood. I felt my teeth sink into his skin, my mouth filled with the sweet taste of the poor mans blood, I could feel him twitching beneath my grip. I never wanted to stop. This was the best I have ever tasted in my life, so go- "Nessie stop"! My dad yelled tugging me off of the poor old, helpless man I was slowly killing. I did not budge. "Get off of him"! My mom screeched helping my dad trying to pry me off of the man. I wanted to stop, but I couldn't stop. It was so good, I had to have more, I just had to have it. I unlocked my jaw painfully trying not to kill him, STOP! I thought to my self trying to stop, trying to let go, to spare this victim to my anger. "She's trying to stop, she's needs to stop" my dad reassured my mom who was now talking to the man making sure I didn't kill him... Stop!I thought as I slowly felt myself fell to my knees. (Blacked out) When I woke up I was in the car in the front of the new house. I saw uncle Emmett and aunt Rose. They were already taking stuff out of the back of the truck. They looked freakishly happy. Didn't mom tell them what I did? Shouldn't I be in trouble? I didn't see grandma Esme or grandpa Carlisle, and it was weird because they told me that they would be waiting for us to come. Grandma said she would make me some cookies that she has been dying to make off this cooking show she likes, but I guess not. The house was beautiful, it was huge and this lovely red cherry color. It reminded me of the poor mans blood that I could taste under my tongue. I felt so bad. I should have stopped sooner, I should have not done it at all. The house also had a wrap around deck with a full garden all around it and a water fountain in the front yard. My dad always knew how to pick out a good house. He and grandpa picked out the other house too. Just like that one it was far away from people and into the woods which reminded me of Jacob. If only he was here, I would have never took that mans life! I would have never been mad. I got out of the truck and grabbed the box by my feet full of stuff Jacob gave me, including all of the pictures we took and old memories that we kept I was going to leave it for him with a note but I wanted to look threw it, I haven’t been in it since last summer. I walked into the house and aunt Rose just eyed me and my dad looked like he was going to say something but he just walked back out side. I brought the box up to the room that they wanted to call mine, but I won't because I am not going to be staying long. The walls were white and chipped and there was no carpet just wood floors "yucky" I said to myself as I stepped on the floor and it creaked. My dresser and bed was already in here from the first trip down here. I stayed at forks then and snuck out to see Jacob. Then it was like he knew I was leaving because when we parted that night he hugged me and whispered 'you're my best friend' in my ear. It made me feel all warm in side, I kissed his cheek and walked home thinking of him. When I went back downstairs I saw aunt Rose talking to my dad about something but they stopped as soon as I came down. It was most likely what happened on the boat. Uncle Emmett was still hauling things in from the truck and mom was unpacking stuff that we did not even need. I mean really! We don't even use plates! For the rest of the day I kept to myself and just took things to my room to try to be happy. It didn't work, I was still missing my Jake and I still felt bad for the man that I attacked. I have never missed Jacob this much, he is who I want to see and no one else even matters! I just want him. It is like if you take a teddy bear away from a kid that is to old to have stuffed animals, they still love them, they want to cry but they know that if they do it will just punish them even more knowing that they still do not have there teddy bear. In this case I was the kid to old and Jacob was my teddy bear, so far away out of my reach. I didn't go hunting with everyone tonight. I was just too mad to even look at them right now and I was scared to see them. I didn't want to get yelled at for what I did on the boat over here. Anyways, right now I do not want any blood. I think I am done with it for some time but, I am craving Twinkies, they were Jacob's favorite food and now mine in memory of him. I thought of my favorite person as I looked through our memories that was in this small box. There was a picture of Jacob and I jumping into a lake when I was two. In this picture I look about eight or nine. I remember that day, it was when Jacob, me and the other pack members went camping down in Portland when it was really hot and swam all day. It was the first time I ever went in the water, what a good day. I wish I could go back to it and relive it... I pulled out a piece of paper when I opened it I saw it was a letter to me...but I had never seen it before. It was in Jacobs hand writing so I started to read it. "MOM! " I screamed as tears flooded my face. I did not know what to think. Should I be mad at him for not telling me or should I be happy that he loves me? This was just to fast to think about Jacob, too fast to hear that he kept secrets from, to soon to hear that he had more feelings for me that I did not know about. "DAD!" I yelled once more just to make sure they heard me. "What's wrong". My dad asked barging in to my room with grass in his hair and twigs too. "Did you guys know Jacob imprinted on me?" I asked standing up and showing them the letter as I wiped the tears that kept coming.

" said you would explain when it came time." he said as she flew up the stares with leafs in her hair too.
"Oh it is time for, that talk".she said sitting on my bed as clam as can be.
"Well I am going to go down stairs and let you girls have this talk." he said walking out of the door as if this was rehearsed.
" why am I just finding this out...why through a letter" I asked wishing this would just be a dream and I will wake up into the world that I once knew home, Jacob as my friend .
"Ok Nessie honey-
"mom do not speak to me like I am two I want the truth no sweet hearts no sugar I love you's I want the bitter truth just as it comes." I shouted as my throat got thick with all the tears..
"Ok...well sit and clam down." she said pointing to the bed. I sat.
"Now tell me!"
"I remember it quite vividly, it was a few days after you were born and I just woke up from being turned into a vampire by your father" she sighs at the memories. "Just then Edward told me that Jacob imprinted on you, I was mad because I knew that if you found this out you would feel like that you had to love Jacob back, and I wanted you to feel the love between you two, cause you felt it not because you felt like you had to or everyone wanted you to. I promised myself and you that I would let you find this feeling about Jacob on your own and that I did not want anyone to tell you until you felt the same way. Don't be mad at everyone one because they were just trying to help" she explained. "Oh and especially do not be mad at Jacob he wanted to tell you so many time" she said with a chuckle at the end as if this was funny.
"What feeling...what is imprinted mean...?" I asked so confused.
"Wait." she said standing up and thinking or listing really hard because her smile disappeared fast.
"Mom what's wrong?" I asked standing.
She smiles wide "nothing". and then races out of my door faster than I have ever saw her run.
When I went down stairs to see why Bella was acting funny everyone was talking and giggling, then I turned the corner and I saw, "ALICE!" I jumped in her arms and hugged her as tight as I could pushing my mom away.
" whoa, Hi to you too. "Alice said peeling me off of her, with her cheerful smile glistening in the dim light on the table.
"So how was your trip?" I asked still in Alice's face so happy that she is back.
"It was um...good. "Alice said with a laugh and looked at Jasper, I think if she could blush she would be so red. "How are you babe?" Alice asked sitting on a diner chair as If she could be sleepy.
I lifted my hand up to touch her cheek and showed her my depression and how much I wanted to see my Jacob, everything about the letter and how I still wanted to know so much that my parents are keeping me from knowing, like what imprinted means and why Jacob says his in love with me, and about what I did to that poor man.
"OH, Neisse I am so sorry". Alice said pulling me into a hug as if she felt my pain.
"I miss him a lot." I tried to choke out but my voice was drowning in my tears I was not sure if she could understand what I said but I knew that I could not live any longer with out him it was just not happening.
"I know I know." Alice whispered in my ear laying my head on her shoulder, I could not help but to be happy to smell her sweet perfume it was a smell I missed dearly.
"I do not know what do Alice I miss him like crazy and things are just not adding is like I feel a hole in my chest and when ever Jacob is brought up a solid rock falls in it, it hurts." I said wiping my eyes and smearing eyeliner down my cheek but I didn't care.
"It will be ok, I mean you will make new friends." Alice said putting my hair up in a sloppy ponytail to get it out of my face now that I was all hot and sweaty from crying.
"WAIT your siding with them!" I yelled pulling away and looking around every one standing there watching my melt down as if it was television.
"Well they're your parents and they know what's best for you. "Alice explained looking at my dad then jasper to clam the mood. I hated when he did that it took a big effect on me for some reason.
"So you think me missing Jacob and not being able to see him is what's good for me, you think my feelings for him that i am confused about can just be left unexplained you think that every time I feel this anger I can just kill another person?" I said as I tried not to cry because of my confusion and pain I was betrayed by the one I trusted the most.
"I am sorry Renesmee there is nothing I can do they're your mom and dad honey. "Alice said trying to clam me down but it made me madder, way madder I threw a sharp look at Alice the rudest and most nasty look I could pull out of my self.
"Whatever... and don't call me honey." I said coldly as I ran up stairs almost falling because my vision was blurry from the tears. I don’t think I have every cried this much before.

I flopped on my bed knocking the wind out of my self most likely to have bruised my face, HA! That would be fun to explain "my bed attacked me" I said laughing at my joke but the smile faded, when I heard what they were talking about. "So what did you tell her?""just the truth""so she knows about it all""well, I told her what she needed to know""ok well if that's what you think is good for her Bella then that's good" there's more, how much more? I thought as I felt like I was going to puke and the tears were coming back, I did not want them to but I was hurt so bad and more I tried to find out what's going on more hurt I get. I curled up on my bed with the blankets around me like a shield. I slowly drifted to sleep I didn't noticed how sleepy I really was until now.

"Renesme, get down here!" dad yelled with a hint of joy in his voice. I sat up and looked at the was four in the morning and it is September 4th. I jumped off of my bed and into my bathroom, straight into the shower. The water was a bit to hot but it felt grate and very relaxing it woke me up. I washed my body and hair sing along to a song that was on the stereo in my shower. "Cut my wrist and black my eyes, for I can fall asleep tonight or die. Because you kill me! You know you do you kill me well you like it to I can tell" I got of the hot steamy shower and dried off running my fingers threw my hair trying to dry it. I slipped on my panties and then my skinny jeans I wore four days ago, they weren't really dirty just worn who cares. I put on my bra and a black T that said "the only promise in life is death" sadly that was not even true to me.
I did nothing to my hair really just let it do it's thing witch mostly was curling. I decided to put on some black eyeliner and red lipstick just for the day no need really.
"Neisse come down here!" my dad yelled again.
Oh god now what do they want I thought as I walked down stairs and into the living room. I sighed at the sight of them I was still mad at them, I would never for give them for keeping me from Jacob this long I mean 4 mouths is a very long time and in girl years that's like eight years. "What?" I asked with a fed up look on my face sitting on a kitchen chair.
"Your mother and I have been thinking and we think what we did to you was not fair." dad said very slowly like he did not want to say it but he knew it was true.
"When did you figure that out?" I asked not looking at them with a sarcastic tone rolling my eyes because I knew what they were talking about just by my dads face.
"We also thought that you can go visit Jacob for only a week, once every two months." mom said with an unwanted tone as she scrambled eggs.
"Really?" I asked with a happier tone thinking they cracked finally I can see Jacob.
"Yes, only because you have been good for the past 4 months and if your willing go to high school here when you return.." dad said.
"Oh my god." I said jumping up and down and gave them a fast hug.
"So you agree?" mom asked.
"Yeah thank you" I said hugging them both.
"Be safe honey". Dad sighed handing me more money than I would have needed to go to china for a year.
I smiled" so who's driving me?" I asked knowing that I did not want to walk all the way to Washington even though I would of.
"I will" uncle Emmett said holding up his keys like it was a play and he was just waiting for his turn.
"Thanks". I smiled walking out the front door and into his truck I sat there for a few before he even came out, probably mom and dad telling him what not to let me do...blah blah blah.
It took me 33 miles to notice that I did not bring anything with me no close no cell phone no tooth brush no...anything. I also saw that this was the best day that I lived in Alaska and I was leaving, how weird how that works.
"So Neisse, are you happy you get to see Jacob?" uncle asked looking at me as if he didn't already know the answer.
"Well I am more than happy...I am scared too, nervous, I cant help but to feel a knot in my stomach it is like I feel like he has changed not my best friend anymore I just have that feeling." I said chewing on my thumb.
"Well things have changed but I think he will still be your best friend, just now you wont be able to see him that much so when time comes when you can it would be more precious to you two. I think that this is good for you, to have space and who knows you might find a nice young boy here you like." he said still looking at me, and not the road. The thought of finding some one to like/love is scary.
"The road" I whispered.
"You know if you ever need something or somebody, I am here for you." he said slowing down.
"I know and I am thankful for your support " I mumbled my mom probably wanted him to say that.
"So do you want me to drive you all the way or would you like to take the plane?" he asked finally looking at the road.
"Ah...I ummm, the plane would be fine" I could not decide.
“okay. what you don't want to be stuck in the car with me.?" he teased.
"It's just I want some time alone to think of what I am going to say." I explained my answer to him and to me.
"Oh, well I hope everything goes good I would not want to see you sad, or I might just have to kick some harry puppy butt" he said teasing again.
"He is not a "puppy"...but I will be fine." I lied but for some reason I felt like it would be ok.
" sorry...I forgot you cared...and I know it will be just fine." he said with a smile and then his smile turned to stone.
"What's wrong." I asked. He said nothing. "uncle emmett?" I pleaded.
"Beal." he cruised and then snapped the around into a dirt road. I looked at him confused as I braced my self agensted the car door "who are they". I said as I looked out of the truck window, I saw a boy about 17 and a old man he looked familiar very familiar.
"You saw that man, well you bit him remember?" he said eyeing the car that was now chasing us.
"Y-yeah I remember, but I did not know that he was that old..and who's the boy?' I asked putting on my seat belt moving my tongue around remembering the taste of his blood.
"He is his grandson, and it is very common for the first time you taste human blood you past out and remember only the best parts of it." he explained as he made another sharp turn back onto the high way as if he read my mind.
"So w-" I cleared my throat"why are they chasing us?" I finished my questions.
"Well I guess when you bit tom the old man, he did not like it to much so now he wants to kill you." he said it like he knew it by heart. I was shocked speechless.
"K-kill m-me" I finally choked out.
"But they wont, I wont let then Edward wont let them Alice wont let them your going to be fine" he said trying to convenes me, and well himself.
I swallowed hard and sunk into my seat.
He looked over at me "its going to be fine." he said again. I didn't move. "uh-huh" I mumbled softly.
He sped up pushing 109. I started to see the airport for some reason that seemed safe. I didn't see the other car. Maybe we lost them.

The truck came to a hauling stop. “hurry and go to Forks” Emmette said unlocking the car door. I ran to the airport the warm air greeted my skin as I entered the airport.

My heart started to thud deep in my chest when I entered La Push. I could just see how happy he will be to see me. I wonder what we would do first maybe work on a car together or go Cliff diving. Whatever we do I can’t wait. I got out of the car and walked up to Jacob's house and knocked on the door. When the door opened my heart was pounding to the beat of the titanic theme song. "NESSIE!" Jacob screamed and threw his arms around me. "I missed you too." I said as I tried to breathe. "Where did you go?" Jacob asked putting me down on his lap as he sat on the couch like he all ways did. "I moved to Alaska." I said in a pity tone. "Then why are you back here?" Jacob asked as he turned me around so I was facing him. "I wanted to see you, and my mom and dad said that I can come over here for a week every two months.” I said very slowly staring at his beautiful brown eyes that made my tummy flutter. I do not know why I have seen his eyes a million times before, but this time was different. "So you’re going to stay here with me for a week?" Jacob asked just to make sure he got it right. "Yep but only for one week." I said trying not to faint, I do not know why I feel this way now about Jacob but my heart is racing. "Well what do you want to do then?" Jacob asked staring at me in a way I have never seen before. "What’s wrong?” I asked. "Nothing is wrong, I am just so happy to see you and..."he trailed off. "And what?" I asked. He put his hand on my back and scooted me closer to him so I was sitting on him cowgirl style, are faces were so close I could feel him breathing on my lips. His lips are now on mine I can feel his heart pounding on my chest as he starts to lay on top of me. I put my arms around his neck and started to kiss him back. I swirl my tongue around his, and I start to take control. I roll over on top of him, next minute I know were on the floor. We both laugh a little, but we did not break the kiss. I feel Jacob’s hand slide under my shirt touching my bare skin, he leaves my skin tingling. He slowly takes off my shirt giving me time to stop him but I didn't. I did not even notice that he was taking off his shirt untill I felt his muscles on my bare chest. He left me in a daze when he swirled his tongue around my lips. (so tasty) "I've missed you...a lot" Jacob mumbles on my lips as he stands up picking me up with my leg around his waste. He walked I could not manage to see where but my back was now up against a wall, as he started to kiss me with more eagerness. I slid my hand up his back and through his hair. He stops kissing me and trails kisses down my neck and stops when he comes to my bra. He looks up to make sure if I am ok with him taking off my bra. "Yes" I said in a soft voice still lost in the last kiss. "Oh hello kids." Billy said surprised. Jacob flung off of me leaving me in a state of satisfaction. "Hey dad." Jacob said all red. Billy started to laugh it took me a couple seconds to understand why he was laughing and why Jacob was all red. "So why are you here Neisse?" Billy asked looking over at me. "Oh I am staying here for a week is that ok?" I asked. "It is not up to me anymore I moved out and I live with the Clearwater’s now I thought I would give Jacob here some space, and I am glad I did." Billy explained. "Oh." I said just noticing that I was still half naked so I grabbed my shirt and put it on. "Ok well I better leave you two alone now, if you need me you know where to find me." Billy said rolling out of the house and still laughing. "I am sorry about that." Jacob said still red. "No it is ok I mean, yeah." I said kind of embarrassed myself. "So what do you want to do now." Jacob said looking very awkward. "I don't know we can go hang out with Sam and them." I said trying to make it less awkward and more like before. "Ok hold on, I have to go to the bathroom first." He said as he got up and tried to walk to the bathroom. I could not help but to laugh. I stood up and walked over to his bedroom to see how bad my hair was and I noticed that Jacob had a pair of girl under ware on his floor. I should have known he has a girlfriend, I am so dumb! My tummy hurt like it never has before, it hurt more than if I did not have any blood for a whole mouth. I felt betrayed, lied to...forgotten. I could feel my eyes fill with tears and then I saw it, a picture of him and her. The frame I gave him to put our picture. I have never seen her before, she must be new or something. In the picture his arm is around her and she is kissing his cheek it was taken in the woods, his and my favorite spot but we swore we would never show any one. I am so stupid and I thought I loved him and that he might of loved me; I am just the best friend and nothing more. Neisse what is wrong?" Jacob asked as he walked into his room. "You have a girlfriend." I said with out even looking up from the picture. "I can explain." Jacob said walking closer to me. "When were you going to tell me huh, when was it after you stole my heart or were you planning to not even let me fall in love with you?" I asked as my knees got weak and I fell to the ground. "I did not think you were coming back I thought I lost you forever so I just...needed closure." Jacob said. A million things were going threw my head that I wanted to say but I didn't I couldn't even speak. We sat there for ten minutes in silence before I spoke. ""It is weird the one person you love with all of your heart is the one that breaks your heart into a million parts, and at the end you still love them with all the broken parts." I said as I stood up and wiped my face. "Neisse I am sorry I really am, I am going to break up with her anyways." Jacob said trying to give me a hug. I let him hug me but I felt wrong, it burned. "No you do not have to, maybe we’re just wrong." the word I said hurt to hear but it was true we were meant to be friends and what we did was wrong. “Do not say that Renesme because I love you." Jacob said kissing my forehead and pulling me deeper into him. I pushed him away and said "lets go hang out like we planned, OK?" "Ok." Jacob said with a monotone voice.

I walked outside the cold wind hit my face and burned wear the tears ran down it. I looked at the car mirror to see how bad I looked and I did not look too bad I just did not have anymore make- up on. Jacob came out of the house and got into the front seat. I sat in the car too; we did not say a word as we drove to Sam's.
When we got there they were having a BBQ and everyone was there.
"Neisse I have missed you". Emily said giving me a hug.
"I have missed you too." I said hugging her back.
"Here sit down,” Paul said scooting over. "Thanks” I said sitting next to him.
He was sitting next to someone I have never seen before; I think he is a new member to the pack. He had long shaggy hair that hung right above his shoulders and covered his eyes; his eyes were a bright green. He was not as tan as Jacob but way darker than me. He looked young about fourteen, the same age I looked.
"Wow Neisse you have grown." Jared said looking me up and down and interrupting my thought. I blushed. "Thank you." I said and smiled.
"This is Sane, he is the newest member of the pack." Jared said pointing to him.
"Hey." I said with a flirty smile knowing it would make Jacob mad and hoping a fraction of the pain I felt.
Sane just stared at me for a minute and then smiled and continues staring. I blushed and look up at Jacob who looked like he was about to break Sane in half.
"Who wants to play foot ball?” Sam yelled as he ran into the back of the house. Everyone went. Me, Emily and Leah did not play we just watched the boys make fools out of themselves trying to impress us. Every time Jacob caught the ball he would throw it the best he could to make me look at him but I tried to keep my eye on Sane. Who was trying to get me to look as well he tackled everyone even the guys on his team. “Foods done boys.” Emily yelled. Every one sat at the picnic table I sat next to Emily and Jacob sat next to Paul and Sane. Every one had hot dogs and hamburgers with lemon aid but I did not eat I just sat there talking to Leah who was sitting in the grass.
"Sorry guys that I am late." Some girl said walking over to Jacob she had long blond hair and blue eyes, she was skinny and wore a light pink mini skirt, with a white tank top, and with a light pink lace top.

"Who is that?” I whispered to Emily.
"That is Hannah, she is Jacobs girlfriend." Emily whispered back.
I looked up and saw Jacob and her hugging it made my tummy hurt I wanted to rip her throat out. I felt my upper lip start to curl up as they began to kiss. I growled and everyone looked at me as my teeth were showing and I was ready to pounce on her as if she was a deer in the woods.
"Neisse, calm down." Sam said getting up like he could stop me from killing her. "Renesme...please calm down." Sam said starting to walk over to me.
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY JACOB!" I growled in a voice I only heard of stories about my dad making.
"Excuse me, he is my boyfriend." Hannah said kissing his thing to say.
"Wrong thing to say" Jared said in an entertained voice.
"I will say it again, get you hands off of MY Jacob." I said once more for the dumb blond.
"No he is my boyfriend I do not care what a fourteen year old has to say about it." Hannah said with an attitude.

“OK, Neisse stop OK, and Hannah this is my best friend ok.” Jacob said looking into her eyes the way he did to me, not even two hours ago.
I got up and walked into the house.

I could feel my eyes fill with tears again as I ran into the kitchen. I am unwanted. He loves her, he does...I am just a friend. How could I let myself fall so hard when I should have known he would not be there to catch me? I am just the annoying unwanted younger friend. I thought as I cried in the kitchen. "How could you say that, Jacob you’re a d***." Emily said pissed and started to get up. "I better check on her." Emily said. "No, I will, it is OK just eat." Sane said already in the house. "Like I can eat now." Emily muttered as she picked at the hot dog in front of her. "Are you OK Renesme?" Sane asked and put his arm around me. "Sorry." I mumbled as I wiped my eyes. "What for?" he asked. "Because I ruined everyone’s dinner with my confusion." I said starting to cry again remembering how mean I was to Alice earlier today. "It is ok, don't be sad." Sane said as he pulled me into his chest like a hug but my arms weren't around him. "Thank you for coming and talking to me." I said sniffling. "Your welcome, but I wanted to." Sane said with a chuckle. "So how old are you anyways?" I asked trying to forget about what just happened and walked over to the couch in the living room. "I am fourteen but I will be fifteen in nine days, you?" Sane asked walking over and sitting next to me. "I am fourteen, too bad I wont be here for your birthday." I said with a sad look on my face. "Why wont you be here?" Sane asked. "Because I have to go home in a week and I think I might go home sooner anyways." I explained. "Why would you go home sooner than you have to?" Sane asked worried. "Because I feel dumb about Jacob,” I said with embarrassment all over my face. "Well I did not want you to go home, I mean we just met and I want to get to know you more." Sane said scooting closer to me. "Well I might stay." I said with a smile. "Good because I would miss you." Sane said as he flipped his hair, perfectly. I did not say anything I just sat there staring into his unique eyes. Sane leaned in, his face was so close I could almost feel his nose on mine and then he kissed me. His lips were so warm and his tongue was even warmer on mine as we swirled them around. I felt him put his hand on my leg and slowly run it up my thigh. He starts to lay me down and bring my leg up around him, I did not stop him and when he realized that I was all for what he was doing his heart sped up and I could feel it on my chest as he laid on me. "SANE! "Jacob shirked. Sane did not move, so I pushed him off and he stayed. I could not move him. "SANE get off of her!" Jacob yelled. I finally got him off of me and I was scared because I did not want to be mean to him or to Jacob. "Sane what are you doing kissing Renesme like that?" Jacob asked like he was my dad. "Because I like her, a lot" Sane said blushing and then looked at me and smiled. I blushed. "What are you talking about?" Jacob said getting even more furious. "I mean I think I imprinted, on Neisse." Sane said grabbing my hand for approval. "come on Renesme were going home now!" Jacob said grabbing my arm and walking out of the door and into his rabbit. "Jacob...Jacob your hurting me." i said trying to break free from his death grip. "oww Jacob this hurts." i said as he threw me into the car and started driving before my door was even closed. he didn’t talk. i looked at my arm because it hurt a lot and there were blue finger marks around my arm. Jacob never hurt me before what is wrong with him. "Jacob, what is "imprinted" mean. "i asked hoping for a answer. "I DO NOT WANT YOU TO SEE SANE EVER AGAIN I MEAN NEVER RENESME NEVER...HE IS BAD FOR YOU OK!" Jacob yelled at me not even looking at me. "ok." i matter very quietly. " GOOD!" Jacob was still yelling at me. he has never yelled at me before and this was the first time i have ever been scared of Jacob he was not even like my Jacob anymore and i began to fill my eyes over flow with tears. i hid my face with my hair for he would not see that he scared me. when we got to his house i was scared to even look up.i went to the bathroom for i could stop crying. CRASH BOOM THUD. i heard Jacob thrashing his room. i walked out and saw that he broken his door. " ok Jacob i want to know what imprinted means and i maybe will know why your so mad. "I said walking over to him. "I am sorry that I hurt you, i was just mad. "Jacob explained. " it is ok." I said raping my arms around him. "I am sorry that I was mean to you today, i should not have done what I did." Jacob said with a tone in his voice that i have never heard before. when I looked up Jacob was crying. "why are you crying?" i asked puzzled. "because I hurt you and i never wanted to hurt you ever, you know that and look at you i bruised you...i am sorry Neisse I am. "Jacob sobbed. " yeah you scared me but it is ok now." i said as a stood on my tip toes to kiss his cheek. Jacob smiles and says “so where are you going to sleep?" with a happier look in his face. " I do not know I was thinking your bed but then where are you going to sleep? "I said with a chuckle. hahaha. Jacob laughed and jumped on his twin bed. I laid down next to him. w "well i am sleeping here too so scoot over." i said pushing and nudging him to scoot. "well i will let you sleep in my bed only with one condition. "Jacob said in a serious "what?" i asked. and he pulled me into his chest then put his leg over mine. " only if we sleep like this". he tried to persuade me like I was going to object. "well, this is comfortable but. "I said getting up and putting my hair in a pony tail and laid back down the same way we were before. "but what?" Jacob asked. " I had to fix my hair and now i will sleep like this if I have to." I said it like it was killing me but I was more willing than he thought. "good." Jacob said switching off the light and pulling the covers over us. "ok well good night." i said as i intertwined my fingers with his. " good night. "he said and then kissed my head. this was the millionth time me and Jacob slept in the same bed but for some reason the time felt different, the way he held me was more comforting than ever before, it was weird but what was more weird was i wanted to be mad at Jacob for being so mean to sane. i wanted to know what imprinted means and why Jacob got mad about it. i thought as i slowly drifted off to bed with my beautiful werewolf beside me..

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This book has 4 comments.

on Jan. 5 2012 at 12:15 pm
MarguriteV. BRONZE, Portlnd, Oregon
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"what am i not the right kind of monster for you bella"

hello, there i am extremely sorry for the wait , i took a break on writing but i am starting up again.

on Sep. 5 2011 at 11:15 am
MiNdLeSsLuVeRgIrL BRONZE, Kenly, North Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 120 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours if it doesn't, it never was!

plz make more or I am gonna die


on Aug. 19 2011 at 12:02 am
MiNdLeSsLuVeRgIrL BRONZE, Kenly, North Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 120 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours if it doesn't, it never was!

I absoulutly love it please make more :) and it sounds just like it would in one of the actual twilight books.

on Aug. 18 2011 at 11:24 pm
MiNdLeSsLuVeRgIrL BRONZE, Kenly, North Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 120 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours if it doesn't, it never was!

This is a twilight thingy right I can't wait to read it!