“Goodnight world.” I say as my final words. I take five, 800milligrams of vicodin, one at time and lay down on the side of the willow tree, where Adrian and I met seven years ago. I’m so sorry Adrian… will you please forgive me? I fall into a deep, deep sleep. *** *** *** I wake up. The birds are singing and my alarm clock’s screaming. It’s Monday and I go through eight hours of brain dead education. After school, I say goodbye to Cameron, give him a hug, a smile and walk away. Today was one of those good days. But for some reason, in the pit of my stomach, I knew something dark was upon me. My name is Adrian Ceccarelli, I live in Corpella, Maine. It’s really small, it’s like one of those towns where, if try to look it up, you can’t find it. I’m a freshman at Monticello High. I know I’m Italian, Greek and French. My family died in a fire on a summer weekend almost ten months ago because my parents were being stupid. But I got to admit I was a little drunk as well. I live with my grandparents now, but I have PTSD of because of that night. . . I’ve been to the mental hospital many times because I’m suicidal. I don’t slit my wrists or anything, I just take too much of what I call my “forgetting pills.” Then it makes me feel better. I’m at home and it’s hmm bout 4:20ish. Cameron usually texts me by now but its okay, he’s probably on his homework. Cameron Alberts is my boyfriend and my best friend. We’ve been together for six months but really, we’ve known each other since 3rd grade. I’m pretty sure it’s not love yet, well I don’t feel the ties that I think I should be. He always tells me, “Adrian, I’ll love you till the night fall of Earth’s final day and more.” Just thinking about it makes me blush and look away. But he gets mad when I don’t say it back, he’ll get over himself. I try to focus more on my homework than my cell. It’s hard not to pick it up ever couple of minutes and just look to see if anyone has texted. I begin writing a paper for language arts that I named “Cannot Escape the Fire.” I hope Mr. Abdūl will like it, considering it’s written through personal experience. I know that it’s bad for me to remind myself about that night, but now I know for a fact that it’s apart of me. * ~ * ~ * Right now I’m getting a little paranoid. Its 9:34 and Cameron still hasn’t texted me. I don’t know maybe I’m just too controlling and he needs a break or... or... or his phone’s dead or maybe he has no service… something. I take my cell phone and dial 207-629-5***. The phone rings for about 20 seconds continuously, “Hey it’s Cameron. Leave me a message... you know or something. Haha bye.” “Damn it,” I whisper, frustrated. I try to call again, I hear a couple rings and then it occurs to me that I seem annoying and controlling. So I put the phone down and lay on my bed. I look over at my grey alarm clock, its 10:03. I turn and lay towards the wall and look at my posters that seem more gothy than usual. I lay in my twin bed with black and brown silk sheets and a comforter for about half an hour. I can’t go to sleep, I know something’s wrong and I don’t know what it is yet. I drift into a heavy dream. I’m in a fire oh no not again. I get on my knees and look cradle myself as I cry in the front lawn. After a couple minutes, I get up and notice this isn’t my old house . . . it’s Cameron’s! I go around the house looking to see if anyone’s inside. The cars aren’t here, but I hear voices. Those voices sound close but I know they’re distant. Then, I hear “Adrian? Adrian is that you!?” I turn my head and seem to have found my mom with items in each of her hands. My mom looks the same as she did ten months ago at her funeral. A black dress and white high-heels. “Mom? What are you doing?!” I run over to her and hug her around her neck and let go eventually. “Mom I can’t believe it’s you! Where is everyone else!?” I say in hopes to find my dad and two sisters. “Adrian me and you are the only ones who had survived that night.” She said looking at me, dead in the eye. ” What? What are you talking about? I was at your funeral.” I look down at her hands which held a gas can and the lighter. She was about to say something but I cut her off. “ Mom! What are you doing with this!?” I yank the lighter and can out of her hands. “I.. I don’t know,” she looks guilty and scared. She puts her left hand on her right forearm and repeatedly rubs up and down. “What? What do you mean you don’t know?! You just had a damn lighter and gasoline can in your hand.” she gives me a grin and looks toward the sparkling orange flames. “Mom!?...?” I take three steps slowly away from her. She looks back at me with a faint laugh. “Agh! Please someone help!” it’s Cameron his voice was coming from inside the house. “Cameron!?” I scream. “Mom, did you do this!?” “Of course I did it! What the hell! Isn’t it a little obvious you stup-“I didn’t hear the rest but I knew what was coming. I run into Cameron’s house, looking for anyone still conscious. “Cameron!? Cameron where are you!?” I hear coughing near his living room.”Cameron? Can you hear me?” I didn’t get much of a response just a few more coughs. Somehow I ended up near the couch closest to the window. It had a colorful blanket on it probably handmade out of cheap fabric. I snatch the blanket that which is barely touched by the fires width, I wrap it around the back of my body and run through was of fire looking where Cameron’s coughs had come from. In the corner Cameron and his dog Luna sat, Cameron was hugging onto Luna to protect her from the fire. I cautiously walk towards him. He looks up at me and gives me a hug. “ Adrian! What are you doing here?” “Here to save you. Now, get under the blanket.” He grabs the blanket and wraps it around us. We each look into each others eyes and mouthed the words “One- two- three,” we run through the flames while he yells for Luna to hurry up. We come out of the fire all charred with cuts and burns. Cameron looked dirty and not even hit by the fire when my hair was frayed and three cuts on my face. I grab hold of Cameron’s wrist and lead him to where my mother was. I got there and she was gone. “Adrian, what are you looking for?” “I’m looking for answers. What started that fire? And why couldn’t you get out on your own?” I look down at his feet then wrap my hands around his waist and tears start to flow out of my eyes. “Look… I.. .I was-“ he starts, but get interrupted when my vision spirals around until… I wake up from the weird night. I turn to the clock and look at the alarm clock, its 7:00 am. I get up and get dressed into a black long sleeve shirt with light blue skinny jeans and a hanging chain belt. I curl my black hair then brush it to make it look wavy with a curl. I walk to school with one foot in front of the other, one at a time. Still thinking about last night, it reminds me that Mom and I did not get along too well and Mom hated Cameron. What was my dream trying to tell me? My train of thought is interrupted by a car honking at me for stopping in the middle of the street. I hurry in to the school, to my locker , then first period. Cameron isn’t in is normal spot. In fact he’s not even here. This is really weird considering he’d usually text me by now. After class I decide to skip to go check on Cameron. First I head to his house. Luna is there but no one else is. I head towards his mom’s work to ask her where he is. When I get there people are looking at me funny. Ms. Alberts is an insurance agent that works front desk. I approach her as she stares in my eyes with great curiosity. “Hi Ms. Alberts ,” I start. “Hi Adrian, why aren’t you in school?” “Well you see, I’m kind of concerned about Cameron. Do you know where he is right at this moment?” “What did you say? It sounds like you lost Cameron.” In her voice, she starts to get a little angry and scared. “I didn’t lose him ma’am. I’ve been trying to find him since last night.” “But ..” Ms. Alberts pauses in disbelief, “He told me last night he was goin to be with you then Toni’s house.” I looked away and down to my feet because I’ve never heard of this “Toni” before. I walk towards the door “Thank you ma’am, sorry to bother you,” when I turn my head I notice that she was already on the on the phone, probably calling the police. * ~ * ~ * Right now it’s 11:02 P.M. I’m exhausted, I’ve been all over Corpella and still no sign. I’m so worried about Cameron. I always wonder if he’s okay, if what he’s doing is safe, if he’s with another girl. . . I guess my jealousy plays a role in my mind. I’m in my room, doing Algebra 1. I’m pretty sure these answers aren’t correct because I guess it’s too hard to focus on. I hold the pencil in my hand elegantly and lightly, almost like it were about to drop from my hand. Eventually, it does, I watch it as it falls to the ground. I feel like the pencil, descending dept until finally I reach my landing. Nothing’s going to save me until the end. So many things are going through my head. That. . . I. Just... “Honey? Adrian, come on you need to get up,” a deep voice said. I open my eyes slowly, a lightly faded figure’s hanging over me. This figure has a short, dark haircut and a fairly skinny body. It’s my dad, he’s wearing the same outfit as he wore on his wedding night. He has a glass of wine in his right hand and his wedding ring in his left. “Dad? What’re you doing here?”I say ,feeling light headed. “What are you talking about? Everyone’s here!” Dad said, getting a little excited. “Huh? What do you mean?” I ask. “Adrian, welcome to heaven,” he helps me up and guides my eyes with his hand. I can’t believe what ‘m seeing. It looks just like the perfect little rich neighborhoods, but no one is inside. They’re all out on the street talking and playing. I see kids and mothers and dads and old people. I see a woman and two girls in the distance all in black dresses and white shoes. They’re waving at me, signaling me to come and join them. As I get closer I notice that it was my mom and two sisters. Dad was following me, with a happy but sort of blank face. I run in to Christina’s arms, my older sister was cold, for some reason, it made me worry. “Don’t understand, what’s going on?” I ask happy and squirmy. “Honey you were sent here to find something out. All we know is that this is your heaven and everyone that you knew that died goes here. You’ll be here later.” My dad exclaims. I look around noticing that the next door neighbor was here, my grandparents, my mom’s one miscarriage whose name was supposed to be Isaac. I can’t believe this, I hear someone calling my name. It sounded kind of manly and familiar. I turn around and find Cameron looking dead in my eyes looking guilty. I run over to him and hug him. “Hi Cameron! Have you been here all this time? I’ve been looking for you! Why haven’t you answered you phone or anything?” He looked confused, like I didn’t know what I was talking about. “Yeah, I’ve been coming here back and forth for the past few days,” he said while look down with his hands in his pockets. I stop and think a little bit “You’ve been here, and this is heaven… You’re not dead are you?” I say, aware I sound really out of it. “Umm I guess not completely it’s kind of been on and off.” “What did you do? Why are you here” I ask getting a little afraid with tears starting to appear in my tear duct. “Look we don’t have much time, just remember that old willow tree. Now go be with your family before you go back.” We hug and I walk away. A spiral swirls around me… I’m back in my room; I’m on the floor waiting for some idea to hit me. Finally, it does. I get dressed and hurry to the forest near my old house on my bike. As I ride next to my house I try to ignore it but I look anyways. It’s lifeless and charred, not much to think about. When I get to the forest full of willow trees, but I’m never lost in here I know exactly where I’m supposed to go. When I get passed the third willow tree with moss on the left side I take a right then go three tree’s down. As I approach the third tree I see I figure lying up against it... “Cameron?” I get off my bike I kneel down to his side and grab his hands. I tear starts to gather in the corner of my eye. He doesn’t respond, I wrap my arms around him and in which, I begin my grieving. *** *** *** I wake up in Adrian’s arms. I look up into her amazing sparkling eyes. She looks back astonished. “Hi what are you doing here?” I say with a side smile, I take the sleeve of my fleece jacket and wipe the stream of tears that are heading to the bottom of her cheeks. She gives me a sad smile, “ I came here to tell you,” she paused and cleared her throat. “Cameron, I’ll love you till the night fall of Earths final day .” I smile and lean in for our first kiss. By: Amanda Lynn T