Chapter 1

Ashling's POV

“Hey mate watcha doin?” Adam said as he snake an arm around my shoulder.

I shot him a glare. “You got exactly 3 seconds to get your hands off me before I punch you in the face. 1.. 2..”

“Okay, okay jeez. You don’t have to be so temperamental Ashling.” He retreated and took a couple spaces away from me.

“Whatever.” I waved my hand dismissively and continued to read my book.

Adam was one of the male models and he’s a one hell of a player. The other 2 models, Cam and Brandon, were not as much as a player as him. We all knew each other since we first started modeling, since we all came from the same management.

Brandon’s my best friend since we’re little, and he’s gay. Not that it matters in any way, he’s great and sensitive, yet protective of me at times. I never had a girl best friend. But I don’t mind, I already have the best friend in the whole world. He never judged, never forgot about me, and he cared me for who I am. That’s what I meant by the world’s best friend.

He just got back from Paris yesterday and I haven’t got the chance to meet him, due to my work and homework.

We were in the photo set location near the lake. I breathe the fresh air and enjoying the sunshine above me. My mind wandered back to home. I haven’t seen my parents and jet and also Effie for days. I miss them very much. I haven’t go to school so I haven’t See jet or Effie, and my parents were pretty busy too. Usually they come to the set, but I guess today they have something on their mind.

“Ashling, come here.” Kiera shouted from quiet afar. I closed my book and sprinted toward my lovely manager in my heels.

“What?”

“Here are your clothes, now go change. The photoshoot is about to start.”

I nodded grabbing the turtleneck red sweater, Burberry white coat, black pair of silk pants and over-the-knee high boots. Heading to the dressing booth, I spotted Melissa on the make-up area screeching as her fake eyelashes failed to stick. Poor that make-up artist. Melissa always treated people like that, except hot boys.

“What are you looking at?” she shrieked, making a painful sound to hear, and pointed at me.

“Nothing.” I flash a fake smile and turned around. Just before I walked away, I spoke over my shoulder. “By the way, you got cream on the corner of your mouth right here.” I gestured the white spot, “Stop being a troublesome and just get on with it.” I gave a smile one more time before went to changed my clothes. I heard laughs from the staff and grunt from the devil but I didn’t look back.

I walked to the set with confident in my 8 inches boots. Suddenly someone swept me off my feet and spin me around. I squealed in the progress while checking who’s the punk. It turned out to be Brandon.

“Brandon, put me down!” I demanded, trying to do it sternly but failed, as I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Owh Ashy bear I really, really miss you.”

“Me too. How’s paris?” I asked.

“A-mazing. Seriously, I love it there. The foods, the people, the fashion, the view, all of it are amazing and fabulous. Autumn in paris. Aaah, such a romantic words to say.” He sighed contently and his gaze wondered up to the sky.

“Wait, what? Romance?” I asked, raising one eyebrow.

He grinned shyly. “I met someone.”

“Do tell!” I gasped but at the same time the photographer, Donovan shouted at us, telling us to hurry up.

“I’ll tell you later. I don’t want to get up in Donovan’s grill.” I smiled and nodded.

“Ashling you’ll be standing between those two boys. Uhm, what’s their name?” Donovan asked.

“Adam and Cam.”

“Yeah right them. No go and work your magic.”

I smiled and stood in my position. The make up artists fixed our make up for the last touch and we pose a few styles for the magazine.

Donovan here, like most photographer, were not very great with names. But surprisingly they always remember my name. I never asked why though, cause I didn’t want to feel like I’m being superior or something.

After a few shots taken and a few change of clothes and make ups, we finally wrapped it all. I was exhausted by the time it finished and I dropped myself literally to the sofa prepared in my tent.

The devil walked in with a smirk on her face and stop in front of me. “What do you want Melissa?” I asked slowly due to the tiredness.

“I heard donovan didn’t like your performance today.”

I sighed dramatically fake and sit up straight. “Really? Oh wow. I didn’t know Donovan likes to talk behind my back.” I faked gasp also.

She seemed to believe my act and continued her plan to bring me down. “Yeah and I heard also he wants to repeat the photo shoot also.”

“Oh. My. God.” I said with slightly overdramatic effect. “He did not!”

“Yes he did.” She grinned happily.

I ended my act and place a flat expression on my face. “As far as I know, he’s a straightforward man so no way he’ll talk behind my back.” As if it was on cue, donovan’s head popped in through my tent’s entrance.

“Great photos you made today Ashling. I’ll repeat what I said last week and the week before that and so on. I’m very impressed with your ability. Keep up the good work.” He said with a nod and a smile.

“Thanks Donovan.”

He disappeared and I put a smug expression to face the devil in front of me. With just a smirk, she stomped her feet in desperation and sauntered out in defeat. Finally some peace! If I could just sleep a bit before my next set, that would be great.

“Ashling something happens.” Kiera barged into the tent and her loud plus sad voice woken me up from my not-so-likely nap.

“What is it?”

“Your.. you parents. T-they-”

“Just spit it out!” I said, getting frustrated.

“They had an accident.” She said, and finally let out tears. The second those words deciphered by my brain, it’s like some lightning struck me. I hold on her shoulder and stare at her teary eyes.

“Tell me this is just a joke. Please tell me-“ I stopped talking as Brandon walked in with a sorrowful face. Oh, no. This wasn’t happening. That’s when I realized tears pouring out from my eyes like a rainfall. A never-ending rainfall.

“Tell me where are they now?”

“They’re in the hospital. Come on we gotta go now.” Brandon said, grabbing my hand and ran to his car. The ride to the hospital was silent. I kept brushing my hand at my face to stop my tears. But it seemed hopeless. All I think about was I hope they’re okay. I hope they survived. Please, just let them live. And the list goes on.

Arriving at the E.R, I jumped out of the car and ran to my extent. “Where’s my parents? Are they safe?” I asked to a passing nurse.

“What is your parents name?”

“Judd.”

“Miss Judd is right here, follow me.” my mind was wandering around as I mindlessly followed the nurse. So many questions still flowed through my mind. Why didn’t she mention my dad? How hard the impact of the accident?

These questions became clear as the nurse spoke. “A truck hits them when they’re taking a turn. It’s not their faults for all I know. I’m sorry dear but your dad.. He died instantly.” She stopped and gestured me to a room. My, my dad died? this can’t be happening. Someone wake me up from this horrible nightmare. Please, someone.

“Miss.” The nurse placed her hands on my upper arms. I prepared myself for the worse and took a deep breath as I walked in. I whimpered and stood in shock on the doorframe as I watched unconscious mom with many tubes inside and out of her body. Scars surrounded her small frame.

“Mom.” I let out a shaky breath. It seemed hard to breath right now.

“Mom, wake up.” My voice was shaking and my lips were trembling. I fell down besides my mother’s bed. Jet, Effie, and Brandon walked in a few seconds later. They did the same as I did previously. Effie cried hard and I hugged her tight, trying to soothe her.

“Where’s dad?” Effie asked, completely clueless. Jet was crying too. This was the first time I’ve ever saw him cried.

I held Effie tighter as I shook my head and look down. I felt a tug on the top of my head and I looked up to my mother. I instantly stood up, taking up Effie as well and only kept my gaze on her beautiful face and not her damaged body.

“Ashling.” She whispered. Her voice was hoarse.

“Mommy.” Effie cried.

“Effie darling don’t cry. Jet come here.” her tone was soft as silk as she spoke. Her voice was the melodious sound I’ve ever heard.

“Listen to me. Jet you’re now the head of the family. Take care of your sister and don’t forget you all, that no matter where we are, we’ll always love you.” I cried again, but held myself from getting out of control as my mother continued to speak.

“Ashling, you are a wonderful talented daughter. You can be everything that you want. Just believe in your heart. And promise me, when you’ll find that special someone, don’t let him go. Promise me.” I nodded.

“Effie you are strong, energetic kid. I’m so proud of all of you. I’m proud to call all of you my children-“ she coughed and I saw what she coughed out. Blood. I was terrified. “Mom, please don’t talk anymore. Please just rest.”

“No, I have to finish this first. Ashling, sometime soon you’ll find the one for you and he will make you understand the oddness of this family. Trust him.”

Her heartbeat slowed and before the heart monitor let out a long beep sound, she said, “I love you all. Take care of each other.” And then her body became limp and she closed her eyes, breathless.

The last thing I remember before falling into dreamless sleep was the doctors and nurses rushed in to help my mother to bring her back to life. But it was useless. My mother and father died. That’s it.

--------------------xox-------------------

There’s no second chance in this world. I still cannot accept my parents’ death. How could fate do this? How could they? I felt this numb feeling inside me. And also the cold.

I watched mindlessly as people pass me with sympathy look on their faces and classic mourning words, ‘I’m sorry.’

We were gathering in my house, after the funeral. Many people, including family members and close friends were coming to pay respect. Even some of my work associates were coming.

Why people wore black at funerals? I don’t understand that tradition. Mother wouldn’t want this. She and dad would want the people wore colourful clothes and gave colourful flowers into their grave. Me, myself wore blue dress. Mom loved blue, and so am I.

I decided to go upstairs and locked myself in my room until the house was clear. I couldn’t stand those sympathy looks and sorrowful atmosphere. It was just too much. Locking the door of my room, I sat on the floor in front of the box in front of my bed and opened it gently.

It’s the only thing I got for the memories of my mother. There’s the gold necklace, which my mother got from her grandma, the wedding rings, and the flowery-beaded charm bracelet that mom and I made when I was 12. Others were photos of me and our complete family. I picked out one photo in particular and observed it dearly. It was the photo of my mom and dad, leaning against each other. They were on a vacation on Bali at that time for their 5th anniversary.

There’s also other picture of them two when they’re on a cruise trip. They used to call themselves ‘the travelers’. They used to tell us about the countries they have been visited. Now they’re gone, no one would ever tell me about the world. And things I have to know, advices, and wishing luck.

They were my wishing stars, the one I’ve ever hoped on. I thought they would live longer, but fate destined a different way.

They always looked so happy and content. I’ve always remembered those looks in their eyes when they looked at each other. It’s more than love. Words can’t even describe.

I took the looks of my mom. Our family has this signature colour of hair. All of us have chocolate brown hair. But I got this icy grey colour of eyes from my mother, while Jet and Effie got their green from dad. Both of my parents always looked so young, like they’re not even aged after years. Most people usually mistook me as my mother because of our resemblance.

My mom named me Ashling for a reason. I was born exactly on Christmas Day. And mom said she got a vision of what the future held for me. Hence, the meaning of my name. Though she never told me what's the vision told. She told me she'd tell me when I'm ready. Now I never know what.

I didn’t realize tears were freely flowing out again and I just heard the gentle knock on my door. “Come in.”

The door was opened and Brandon came in. “Hey sweetheart. What are you doing?”

“Looking through some photos.”

He sighed and sat closely next to me. “So what are you gonna do now?”

“I don’t know.” I said honestly.

“You know you can always live with me right? I already got my own flats. Or if you don’t want to live there you can move to my parents’ house. You know they love you to bits right?”

“I know.” I couldn’t help but smile a bit. “How about Jet, and Effie?”

“They could move with you too.”

“I don’t know it just didn’t feels right.”

Brandon slung an arm around my shoulder and made my head leaned on his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head and wiped off the tears with his soft fingers. “I’ll support you with whatever your decision is. I promise with all my might.”

“I.. I think I have to follow my parents’ expectation. To move to USA with my uncle.”

“I think that’s for the best, since that’s your parents’ will and wish. So, you’re gonna quit the modeling world?”

“I think I am. I need a new start. Later when I’m ready, or when my heart desire, I’ll come back here and maybe continue my career.” I flashed him a fake smile. But I knew he knew it’s fake.

“Just let it go, Ash. Let it go.”

I cried, hard. I just cling tightly into my best friend as I cried with all of my might. But even I did that, nothing could fill this hole in my heart. I just lost 2 most precious people in my life. It will never be the same for me.

-----------------xox----------------

Saying goodbye was the hardest part. Packing the things and stuff was not easy as well. Everytime I saw my mom and dad stuff, tears were always threatening to go out. By I held it, for the sake of my family. I didn’t want them to be sad and drown into my own sorrow. The second reason was, my mom always told us to be strong, no matter what happened. And I must keep that promises.

The house was not going to be sold, and also my dad’s and mom’s cars.it will all be left there, just in case we’re going back there again. Maida, the family’s loyal housekeeper was going to live there to keep things in line.

The flight was long and uncomfortable. I couldn’t sleep knowing that I just left my own country and my friends and family there.

My uncle, Dex, and his wife, Jenna was trying hard to cheer us, even though I knew they were sad too. So Jet made us promise that we’re not going to make things more difficult for them.

As the car drive into somewhere I don’t know, I stare out of the window. All I could see was trees passing by fast and pedestrians and bikers. I made a statement that this are where they lived was still undamaged from the heavy pollution. Seemed good to me, since I love this kind of place.

Soon, Dex stopped in front of a 3-stories house. It’s quite big and spacious. I have a hunch I’ll enjoy living here. The front yard was guarded with white fences and white-painted fences and covered with different colour of flowers making my heart warm. I traveled back and wandered around. It turned out there’s a thick forest behind the house. I stared at it and suddenly shivered as something came up on the edge. It was something furry, something dark. But I couldn’t make up what’s the creature, cause one second later it disappeared.

“Ashy!” a kid’s voice shouted my name. I turned around to see Mason running toward me and jumped to my embrace. Mason was Dex’s and jenna’s son. He’s about 5 years old and very smart for kids his age. We grew in fond when we first met at the funeral.

“What’s up Mase?” I carried him as we walk back to the front door.

“Mommy said you have to choose you room.” I chuckled at his cuteness. He’s just so adorable.

I stop in front of the house that I must now called home.

-----------------xox--------------