What Now?!!! | Teen Ink

What Now?!!!

May 15, 2019
By Trin300, Dallas, Texas
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Trin300, Dallas, Texas
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The collusionary situation that I have placed myself was too strenuous to get out of. Another young girl leaving home to escape the devastating acts that occurred in a place where you raise a child to their full potential, a place where you join in on laughter, or a place where you are looked at as a child and not an adult at the age of 14 years old. A treacherous human being is how I viewed someone who I used to call mom, but all I could do was try to stay clear minded. While conveying down the escape route I am met with a parody of what looks to be an angel that is signaling me to move. Confusion written all over my face “what?”, I called out to the lady who I suppose is going crazy. A sudden force is pressed against my backside that causes me to fly as if I'm trying to meet GOD. Flying in the sky like a bird it seem as if my life literally flashed before my eyes. Then BOOM back to reality, I feel myself plop down on the ruthless concrete. All I hear is a deep voice repeatingly asking “are you okay?!” while tapping me over and over again. The only thing running through my mind is how I just experienced what seem to be a farce act. I immediately try to get up noticing that this complete stranger is continuously talking to himself. However, the powerful pain feeling on my calf made it seem as if my sinew freed itself from my leg. I let out a loud cry which cause the strange fellow to snap his head in my direction. He hurries in my direction not acknowledging that viscera in my abdomen is hurting like hell. As I continue to try to escape all I hear is large feet coming towards me as if I was running away from bigfoot. Realizing I couldn't departure from this human being, my concluded option was to pull the pocket knife out that I stole from that hell hole of a place called home. It was at least good for something, right? Shaking my thoughts back to reality, I slowly fall again as if I just gave up on life. The man tries to turn me over to see if I’m conscious not knowing his innocent life with be ended in less than 30 seconds. As soon as I face towards heavens direction, I forcefully push the weapon inside of where his food lays to rest. All retribution that was supposed to be inflicted on my parents have found its way to a complete stranger. Shocked is all I seen as I finally recognize the face. Somehow his expression matched mines as I noticed that I just took the life of a man who has always helped when I needed a breath of fresh air or even just someone to talk to, my friend Aaron. All i could was scream out Noooo!!!! The only person I felt protected from, should’ve been protected from me. The restitution I once sought for from having my innocence taken away has know left my thought process. Trying to come up with excuses on why I shouldn't be blamed for my actions. For instance, My step father put a curse on me that makes me afraid of all men on earth and what else was I supposed to do when I am being chased by a male? Defending myself was my the only route to take, at least I thought so.
Out of nowhere I see a truck pull up right across the street from the crime scene I just conducted. The person gets out slowly and “F”, is what I scream out as I come face to face with the devil himself, my stepfather. He viciously smile as if he knew something I didn't. “ No I wouldn't do that”, he say as he sees me looking for an escape route. He roughly grabs me up throwing me in the truck as if I was some old acquisition he just bought. Trying to get away was a complete fail remembering that I was still injured in a way. We dashed off to what looks to be the wrong direction of my house. Fear is all I felt, seen, and could hear. Arriving to a isolated cabin, he forcibly pushes me in and commands me to sit on this one mattress bed and walks of to the dresser to do who knows what. Attempting to come up with a way to set myself free, should I compensate something or just kill myself and it will all be over. A sudden light bulb blinked inside my head, I reached for my used weapon and charge in his direction. Repeatedly pushing the knife in and out , all I could do was scream sounds of joy. A penitent feeling left my body as soon as I felt it rise. I quickly let go of my wounded victim with no contrietness present. My effort of getting blood off of my hands did me no justice. Leaving out the cabin all I did was run not caring where my legs took me, ignoring the fact that I could be taken to jail or even looked at as a murderer. I mean honestly, what other choice was I provided ? Not showing my face can excuse my chances of being exiled. Trapped in my thoughts not coming to the conclusion that I had been running for miles. Being alienated really didn't matter at this point. With no where else to run, no one to call for help; just all by myself. I feel my body moving down a dark abandoned street with only one light shining from a closed gas station. Moving closer, it suddenly disappears and an uncanny feeling filled my soul, hearing a crunch sound come from lifeless leaves behind me. Maybe it was the eldritch spirit coming to taunt me for my past actions. Finding a church at the end of the road, quietly creeping into the back of the righteous church that intruded my ears with a joyful sound. Running towards the altar, everyone stops and views my torn up and blood clothes. Falling on my knees in front of the podium crying and asking GOD to forgive me. The pastor benevolently kneeled down beside me whispering in my ear “Let it all out”. Right then and there my life events seem as if it came at me all at once. Darkness filled my body and at this time I knew my life was over.



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