Pushing my blue-black hair out of my eyes, I continue the digging of the grave.
Of course, there are no bodies anymore. Those who die are burnt to ashes after the beheading to avoid nasty run-ins later.

"I'm done, bro." I glance over at my second in command. His hole is done and his face and hair is streaked with dirt. His shirt is torn in several places and his
jeans are caked in mud. I nod to him and grabs the jar next to him. Watching him carefully, I notice he looks solemnly at the jar for a moment. Slowly taking the lid
off, I can see no emotion in his eyes. He cant let himself be attached.

In that jar is the ashes of an eleven year old girl. Her name was Ashlee and she had the biggest blue doe eyes I had ever encountered. Her life was tragically
cut short when she wandered outside the prison walls one day. Poor soul never had a chance. Now she's just a pile of ashes at the bottom of a hole. In this world, that
is the best you can ever hope to be.

I'm proud of him, seeing as she is his sister. Huntyr is a strong man, he insisted on being the one to bury her. He was the only thing that girl had left. He
loved her. He raised her. Now he's burying her.

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

"Don't worry, Aidynn. I'm fine." His voice was tight, conveying otherwise.

"Are you sure?" I nudge gently.

"Dammit, Aidynn!Just let me mourn her in peace, okay?" Suddenly all the emotion he's been hiding so well comes out and I see Huntyr for what he is: raw and
exposed. His naked pain is surfacing and I decide to back off. I don't leave because it's dangerous, but it is silent as he sobs for the lost child.

I know what its like to cry like that.

"If it's any consolation, you have us." I say softly to him. "I know it's hard, but we need to get back." He nods to me as he places the jar into the hole and
pushes dirt into the shallow grave.

"Love you." he murmurs and I know he's not talking to me. He places a stone on top of her now buried ashes. Getting up to leave, I pat Huntyr on the back and we
head back to camp. When we get there, no one speaks and Huntyr goes off to be alone for awhile and I let him. One of the cooks comes up to me and speaks.

"How's he doin', shug?" her southern accent is thick and prominent.

"As well as can be expected," I reply. "He'll manage, he always does."

"I'll make him something special tonight." she says. I just nod my permission and she wanders off in the general direction of the prison's kitchen.I look at all
the people milling around, those who have escaped infection. These are my people. They elected me to take care of them, to help them survive and I'm going to do my
damnedest, I vow as an expectant mother waddles past me.

Everyone seems to have settled into the prison fairly well, I muse while walking down a hallway. It has a lived-in appearance, with cots set up in cells for
children and women. Families who have done nothing wrong are living in prison cells. For some reason, it strikes me as funny and I laugh to myself quietly.

"Well, ain't that a sound I missed." teases Jasper. " I was starting to think your face was frozen in perpetual frown form." His natural good looks and funny
nature made it hard to be mad at him for any length of time. That's what got him around things and he knew it. Not bad for a eighteen year old boy.

"What do you want, kid?"I gruffed.

"First off, I'm not a kid," he states seriously. "I go on raids just like you...and I kill."

"I'll give you that." the boy was uncannily good with a bow. Most grown men used guns from a distance. Jasper was more up close and personal.

"Second off, speaking of raids," he continues, "We need to go on another. We are pretty close to Vegas, so we should salvage what we can and see if we can find
anymore survivors..."he pauses and adds, "And I want to lead it."

"Absolutely not."

"About the raid?" he asks.

"About you leading it." I say.

"Awe, come on Aidynn. I'm ready for this! You know it!" he argues.

"No."

"What the hell, Aidynn?" he huffs. "Why not?"

"Because, one, you're too young. You don't have enough experience."

"But-"

"And two, Bethany would tan my hide for letting you go." At the mention of his very pregnant girlfriend, he turned read, flushed with embarrassment. I knew he
got my point. "How far along is she?" I ask.

"Eight and a half months.." he mutters.

"You gonna leave that baby fatherless and Bethany brokenhearted and alone to raise it?" I question.

"No, sir." he mumbles even quieter.

"You are not going on any raids until that baby is born. End of story." I tell him. I'm firm in my decision. He knows there is no room for wiggle on this."A raid
however, is a good idea." I say a little more gently. "You can organize it."

He smiles a little, "Okay." Then he gets up and leaves. I know he'll pick a good time, methodically comparing the pros and con's of each person versus the area
we're in and the amount of ammo we have. He's good like that. I think of his kid and Bethany and smile again. Bethany is a fiery re-head who is skilled in hand to
hand combat and can sweet talk her way out of situation and if worse comes to worse, make a weapon out of anything. I'magine what the baby is gonna be able to do.

I decide to catch a little shut eye before the raid. Heading down the dark corridors of the prison, I move towards the cell I have claimed as my own. I share
with no one and as I go, some people say hi along the way. I nod my head tersely and trek on.

Reaching my room, I fall into bed, tired and exhausted and slip into a deep fretful sleep.

I can hear her like she's right there.

I'm running. She's screaming my name and I'm running as fast as I can. As I round the bend, her yells for me turn into screams of pain and I push myself to go
faster.My lungs are going to burst from the heat I feel.

As I enter the clearing, what I see only makes me go faster.

It's feeding on her.

Her blood is all over it as it bends over her chest. Her screams have softened to quiet sobs. I run straight towards the undead creature that is feeding greedily
on the girl I love. There's a sickening sound of suction being released as it's mouth breaks contact with her skin.

Fury blinds me as I pounded the ugly creature. At one point, I grabbed a rock and busted it in the face with it, over and over again, until it became still.
Only then did I stop. I glanced over at Stephanie, her breathing shallow and her blood flowing freely. Rock in hand, I rushed to her side.

"No, no, no Stephanie,"I plead. "You can't die on me. I need you."

"Oh, Aidynn, I knew you'd come." she says weakly. "I knew you'd come for me. You always do." she groans softly as she reaches up to touch my face and when she
did, I felt the wetness of my tears underneath the gentle caress of her cold, soft fingers.

"I love you." I sob into her hand, holding it to my face. "I love you so much Steph."

"I love you to Aidynn. Always." I stare into her eyes, memorizing the charcoal color of them.

"Do it, Aidynn.Do it now." she whispers.

"What?" I stammer. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't want to be one of them."

"Are you saying you want me to....?

"Kill me, Aidynn."

Her request- her order- rips at my heart, but I know I have to do it. I wouldn't let Stephanie be one, so even if it kills me...

"I love you." I say one last time.

"I know, I love you, too." she smiles softly as she says it.

I raise the rock high above her head and smash it down into her face as hard as I can. Dropping the rock when I feel her splatter against me, I run over to a
nearby tree and throw up. I can't stop crying.

So this is what it's like to lose yourself.

I wonder if when you kill someone you love because they ask you to if it is considered suicide because I swear that a part of me died when I did it.

I wake up, heart pounding in my chest. My body is covered in a layer of sweat. It was just a dream, I tell myself, just a dream. As usual, though, it doesn't work. I decide to head to a near by bathroom. The guard ones are so much nicer than the inmate bathrooms.

I head to the nearest one; not seeing anyone as I go. It's probably dinner time, I think. Everyone is probably eating.

The bathroom comes into sight and I grab the door handle, wrenching it open and rushing in with barely enough time to reach the toilet before I puke. I gag a couple of times and turn to the sink to rinse my mouth.

As I'm rinsing out the taste of bile, I glance at myself in the mirror. I barely know the ice blue eyes that stare back at me. The scar underneath my eyebrow from that not so long ago battle is finally a healed pink color, but in the dim light, it looks almost silvery. My whole face is hardened and tanned.

I hate it. I can't explain why, but I do. It pains me to look at my face. I glance away, slowly leaving the room and making my way towards out mess hall.

I was right, everyone's here.

Delicious smells permeate from the kitchen, so I know we are not low on food. I'll look tonight though, just in case. I grab a tray and slide it along the buffet table where everyone else has already been. Unless you are a child or with child, there are no seconds because we have to ration it somehow. I grab a hunk of cheese, some bread and a glass of water. Thinking, I pull some meat onto my plate, just in case I'll eat it later.

Looking around, I notice Huntyr sitting off by himself, looking distant and forlorn. Ambling over to him, I sit down.I also push my plate towards him, "Eat
something." I say. He just stares. Then slowly, ever so slowly, he lifts a buttered biscuit to his mouth, bites off a bit, chews, then swallows. He glances at me for
a minute, like it's bothering him that I told him to eat. Slowly, he puts his head down.

"I don't know how many times I told her," he speaks, his voice muffled by the table,"to stay inside the stupid fence."

"Stop it, there was nothing more you could do."

"There is always something, Aidynn. There will always be something."

I know this statement too well. I had to force myself to stop it, for fear of my sanity.

"I know." I whisper.

"How did you do it?" he asks.

"Do what?" I stall.

"Deal with Steph's death."

"Time soothes it." I tell him, wincing inwardly.

Stephanie's death has not been soothed by time. My wounds inside are just as ragged and painful as the day I got them. I just learned to hide from them, to
tuck them away, but I don't tell him that.

I think there are two kinds of people: those who can get over it and those who can't. I fall into the later category. I swore when she died that she wouldn't die in vain, that something beautiful would emerge from the sickness surrounding her loss, something bright and pure. Obsession can darken even the brightest intentions.
I just can't let her go, if I do, what will I have left?

Huntyr just nods thoughtfully to himself. "I'm going on the raid tonight. Jaz said so." He continues on. "Anyways, I think it's a good thing, you know, to keep
busy."

"Well, if it's busy you want, it's busy you got." I smile as I get up. He nods his good-bye as I begin to leave. Those who have been informed of the raid know
that they should be getting ready to go, that's me included.

Back in my room, I pull on a fresh pair of black jeans and a white V-neck t-shirt. Pushing my feet into my combat boots, I strap my gun holster around my hips.
Tucking some extra ammunition into my back pocket, I slide my knife into it's sheath and strap it to my belt. On my way out the door, I grab my black salvage bag. I use it whenever we go on raids so if I find something interesting, I can bring it back. Or, if we get lucky and need more bags to carry our finds, usually canned foods and stuff like that. Personally, I love it when we find vending machines. Crack that sucker open and it's almost like the feeling you got as a kid on Christmas
morning.

I pull out my gun at the hint of a shuffle. Covering my blind side is Huntyr. My eyes catch a bit of movement in the desolate city and I immediately focus in on it. As my eyes confirm what I thought i saw, I press the trigger and the zombie goes out with a bang. We keep moving.

The area around us is dark and in ruins. Random fires dot the street. We keep moving, stopping every once in awhile to shoot a zombie or check out something that
looks promising. This city has become dark and desolate, a complete turn around from how it used to be. The fluorescent lights are gone, the bulbs burnt out. The streets
that beautiful women once strutted down to the admiration of many a man, are covered with trash and debris. Cars and trash cans are overturned.

Huntyr touches my arm. "Dude, there is a building over there that is decent looking, like an old casino or hotel." He points at it. "Let's check it out."

The building itself is scorched marked where flames once licked the sides. Windows are busted from the days of the riots, the broken glass protruding like teeth
from the jowls of an unknown monster."Looks cozy." I mutter walking towards the front doors, which are both busted off the hinges. The wind blows and the building creaks.

Producing flashlights, we shine them slowly around the building's interior beyond the doors. Rodents scuttle about and leave their tiny paw prints in the many
layers of dust. Things are haphazardly strewn about, as if the people moving them didn't care about where they landed. I look at it a minute more and realize it is
the complete opposite.

The way these things are arranged, the way they are stacked up and thrown about, it's a tactic of some sort. " It's a barricade." I say, incredulous. "People were here once and they barricaded themselves in." I point out the couch. "Look at how its angled, it's facing the doors." In the core of me, something blooms that feels suspiciously like hope. Huntyr walks to the couch, gun poised. Looking down, he motions for me,"Aidynn, come and look at this.

He's nodding to a spot on the ground. When I walk over there, I see exactly what he's talking about. There are fresh footprints in the settled dust and ash.

"They go up the stairs and they're fresh, maybe a couple hours." I say. Raising our guns, we precede up the stairs with extreme caution.

The prints go up four flights of stairs. I know that I should check out the other floors, but right now, I'm more concerned with the possibility of another survivor than anything else. Following the prints into a room that seems to be a dining area, the indentations veer off down another hall. Mercifully, the footprints disappear behind a door not far down the hall.

When I stop, so does Huntyr. We both glance up at each other and then back to the door. Pensively, I reach out and knock. He laughs a little at me.

"Shut up, there isn't exactly protocol for this kind of thing." I tell him. We wait a few minutes, but the door remains closed. I knock again, still with no
answer.

After a minute or so, Huntyr says, "My name is Huntyr and this is Aidynn. Is anyone in there? We want to help. We have shelter and food."

We listen to silence.

The doorknob turns with a click.

And then a celery green eye is staring at us through the crack.

The door opens all the way.

She doesn't speak, but her eyes are so expressive, she doesn't have to. Her short black hair falls into her face at an angle, covering her left eye but the eye
that is exposed glistens with fear. As if she thinks we're going to hurt her.

This is the look of a tortured soul. I recognize her demeanor.Raising a hand to communicate that I bode no ill-will, I ask her what her name is.

"I have no name that I know of." she says softly, staring down at the ground. Huntyr flashes me a confused look.

"What do people call you then?" he inquires.

She answers hesitantly. "Twelve."

A moment passes and Huntyr explodes into laughter. The sound is so loud that the already frightened girl jumps. "How could you not have a name?" he laughs, "And
why would it be something as stupid as twelve?" I watch Twelve as she listens to him laugh. I watch her cheeks go from a pale peach to a crimson red. It angers me as I
sit there and listen to him laugh at her, to watch her be upset, to watch him hurt her when we're trying to help.

Reaching out to comfort her, my hand touches her shoulder. When it does, she surprises me. Her head snaps up and she jumps back.

In fear.

Of me.

This is a woman who doesn't know the feeling of a kind touch, I realize. Huntyr sees it too. He stops laughing. "Is there anyone else here?" I ask quietly.

"My sister's son." she replies.

"Where is he?"

"The bathroom."

"Which is where?" She points down the hall.

"Will you get him?"

"What are you going to do to us?" she jumps forward. "I swear to god, if you hurt him at all, I'll kill you." Her sudden ferocity startles me. There is a
fire behind the fear.

"We are not going to purposely inflict harm upon another human being, you have my word that no one in my group will hurt you or your nephew." I promise her.
Her eyes widen at the word 'group'.

"There are more?"She questions.

"Yes, there are many more."

"But how?" She looks confused. "Everyone should be dead."

"We can't tell you that because we don't know. We either find them like we did you, or they stumble upon us. We don't ask, they don't tell."

"You are not here to hurt us?" she asks one more time.

"No, we are not." I tell her.

"Can you protect me and my nephew?"

"Yes, we can also teach you how to defend yourself."

"What if I don't want to stay?" she asks.

The question takes me by surprise. "Then you can go. You can choose." Huntyr supplies.

"Well that settles it." she says quietly. Her voice gets a little stronger as she says with confidence, "I choose to go with you. For safety. If you guys didn't
show up, we would have been dead anyway."

I'm happy Twelve has decided to come with us. I would have felt bad if she didn't want to come. If she had said no, I would have felt like I had to convince her
somehow, like it was my job to make her want to stay with us.

She smiles at us both and heads towards the back entry hall. "Let my get my nephew." she calls.

When she leaves the room, Huntyr looks at me. We're standing close, guns still in hand, but at our sides. "Somethin's not right with her, Aidynn." he whispers.

"She is a scared woman with a kid that isn't even hers." I chide. "Give her a little credit."

"She called herself Twelve, what do you make of that?" he challenges.

"I'll admit, it's weird, but I am not going to to question her about it."

"Why the hell not, Aidynn? This could be suicide." he doesn't bother keeping his voice low. "We don't know anything about her."

"There was a time when you didn't know me. Did I turn out so bad?"

How do I explain it to him so he'll understand when he's too stubborn to? This is a woman who needs help. My question however, silences him. He just seethes.

By this time I notice a little boy, about six, poking his head around the corner of the door frame, His bright green eyes shine with curiosity, but something
darker passes through them and when it does, the lights are sucked out of them.

And then they're normal. In a split second, a whole world passed through those eyes. They were not the eyes of a little boy, those were the eyes that had seen
countless horrors. He stared at use, fixated. Getting down on one knee, I look him in his all-seeing eyes and ask, "What's your name?"

"What's yours?" he counters quickly.

"I'm Aidynn and this is Huntyr." I say, gesturing.

"Are you going to hurt us?" he asks coolly and collectively.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

He looks at us skeptically. "My mommy called me Sammy, but you have to call me Two." The horrors pass through his eyes again. I can feel the head from Huntyr's
stare on my back. Thankfully, Sammy's aunt walks in with a knapsack.

"Call him Sammy. Or Sam," she orders,"Don't listen to his stories."

Somehow, I don't quite think they're stories.

"Well, well Sammy." I say, desperate to change the subject before Huntyr says something stupid. "Have you ever had a Twix bar?" I'm pulling one out of my backpack.
His eyes widen in amazement when I produce the golden wrapped candy.

"No, what is it?" he breathes.

"He's never had candy before." Twelve interrupts.

"How the heck is that possible?" I ask.

"Strict diet." she says.

"Do you mind?" I ask, I want to gain this young boy's trust. I want him to know we're one of the good guys. Call it a bribe, but I don't care, even if it is my
last candy bar. Twelve nods her permission. Opening the wrapper, I hold the chocolate out to the boy. "Here, try this." I encourage.

He takes the offering hesitantly. Once the bar is in his hands, he runs to the nearest corner and half of it disappears in one bite, "He's a bit hungry." she
excuses. "We haven't eaten in a couple days."

"In that case, we have more food," I pull my leftover meat from my dinner out of my back pocket. Unwrapping it from its foil prison, I offer it to the young
woman in front of me.

"Give it to Sammy." She orders. "He needs it more than me." She crosses her arms in defiance, I glance over at the boy who has finished his candy bar, crumbs
and caramel smeared across his face. I laugh.

"You want this, kid?" I offer the food. He runs over, grabs it and retreats.

"Thank you." He whispers.

"No problem." I tell him. "We have food back where I come from,would you like to come?" He nods, in eagerness, tearing into the meat like the miniature carnivore
he is.

"Can you carry him and keep up?" I ask Twelve. She shakes her head no, biting her bottom lip.

"I had a bicycle with a seat to carry him," she explains, "but it got destroyed on the way here."

"I'll have to hot-wire a car then," I look to Huntyr,"Cover me? And protect them?"

"I got it."

"Radio the others." he nods and opens the door to go back the way we came, but he stops and laughs.

"Hey Aidynn." he points and laughs to something down the hall."Come and look at this."

I head towards the door and look at where he's pointing and laugh myself.

"I'll carry the kid to the car, Twelve. You get to carry my backpack."

"And why's that?"she asks.

"Because I'm looking at a vending machine filled with Twix bars."

"Hold on to him tightly." Twelve orders Sammy. "Do not let go of Aidynn for any reason whatsoever."

"I won't." he promises, gripping my neck tightly.

"Easy, kid. Don't choke me." I joke. He loosens his grip of death.

"Don't let me fall." he whispers in my ear, low enough his aunt won't hear him. "My mommy let me fall and it was scary." I can feel him trembling on my back.

"And Twelve, whatever you do," I call out to her, "Do not let go of the Twix bars for any reason whatsoever." This entices a laugh from Sammy and I can feel him
relax.

I see Huntyr running towards us. I sent him out to find a car to hot-wire. "I found one," he pants, "About a half mile from here."

"Damn, there's not one closer?" I ask. This kid is going to get heavy. Huntyr nods his head no.

"Zombies?" I ask. Sometimes, we get lucky.

"Always."

Sometimes not so much.Oh well, we will just have to get through it. The zombies don't move very fast, unless they're in a frenzy. Hopefully, we can dodge them.

"Alright." I say, turning to face both Twelve and Huntyr. "Stick together, cover each other. Twelve, just aim and shoot. Head shots are best, it'll take them
right down but above all, stay together." I look specifically to Hunty, "Cover me and the kid, it's going to be hard for me to maneuver him around my gun."

"Yes, sir."

"Let's go."

Leaving the relative safety of the hotel for the pavement jungle is a dangerous game. Huntyr pulls in front, I'm in the middle with Sammy and Twelve brings up
the rear.

For the first block or so, we see no signs of life. Mangled limbs and detached bodies, yes, but movement is a negatory.I pray daily for no movement; that
everything will stay dead, like it is supposed to.

Sammy has his face buried into my back, so I know he doesn't see the first couple zombies. I know he knows they're there, though, because he stiffens at the
groaning grunt noise they make.

"I got you, Sammy." I whisper to him. Huntyr takes them down easy and then we all start flat out running. The noise from the gunshots will attract others and if
we don't move, we're dead. Its hard to run with the kid on my back, but I manage. Swinging him around so he is facing my chest, he immediately buries his face into my
chest.

"There it is! Up ahead!" Huntyr points. "The blue one!" Behind us, I can hear the zombies giving chase. The gunshots must have triggered a frenzy. I swear under
my breath. It's a van, thank goodness, I think as we reach it. I yank open the backseat and push the boy into the vehicle. He scrambles in and is followed by Twelve.
Huntyr is trying to desperately open the passenger door and the zombie herd is about a hundred feet away.

Slamming the door shut, I get into the driver's seat. "Make sure your doors are locked, seat belts on and your windows are up!" I yell.

"Aidynn, there's no handle to roll them up!" Twelve panics. Damn, I have to hot-wire it first.

"Shoot through the windows." I order. The wires I need are already out, but the ends are melted together. Pulling out my knife, I snip the ends off and slit the
plastic covering.Twelve and Huntyr are firing through the windows. I get a spark, but the van dies immediately, I try again and the van roars to life just as the zombies
get close. I slam on the gas and we jerk forward about two feet and it dies again.

"I didn't get my window up all the way!" Twelve screams. Sammy is crying and I'm trying to hot-wire the car again when the zombies swarm the van.

The dead things are everywhere in an instant. Twelve is screaming and shooting through her windo in an attempt to protect Sammy. The car is shaking, like they're
trying to crack us open.

Like the vending machine, I thought.

And then finally, finally, I get the stupid van to start. Doing a U-turn in the middle of the Las Vegas strip, I mow down as many undead as I can before heading
back to the prison.