My body flung from my bed waking me from my unconsciousness. I was panting like I had just ran a mile and the tears rushing down my face made my cheeks burn. My shaky hand tried to pick up a glass of water from night stand. The glass shattered on the floor. Breathe Rebecca, it was just a dream. But how could I lie to myself like that? It wasn't just a dream, it was a premonition, déjà vu, whatever you want to call it. These dreams have haunted me ever since I was a little girl. They're always so realistic, and for some strange reason, they have a blue, eerie sensation to them.

The first one I experienced was at the age of five. In the dream, I saw my house burn down. It was such an odd dream, horrifying really. What confused me the most was why everything was shaded so damn blue. The fire was horrifying, they seemed so real. The next day when I came home from school I saw the flames from my dream swallowing my house. Apparently it was an electrical fire. At first, I thought it was a coincidence that I dreamt about this, but when I started having more of these strange dreams I realized that they always came true.
…Sometimes I think it's a gift, but then I realize it is a curse. No one should be able to see the future. Why should anyone know what is going to happen and not be able to do a damn thing about it?
This time I wasn't going to watch my premonition come true. This time would be different. This was my mother, and I would do anything to stop this from happening. This time, I would change the future.


My alarm beeped to wake me up but it was quite unnecessary; I hadn't fallen back asleep. Walking downstairs to the kitchen the smell of bacon and eggs suffocated my nostrils. Dad was sipping coffee while reading the newspaper with his overly-large glasses. "Morning Becca," he dumped breakfast onto my plate. "I made your favorite."

"Thanks dad," pretending to eat it I asked, "Where's mom?"

"Sleeping," he took another sip of his coffee, "she doesn't feel well today."

My heart started pounding, "Is she okay? Does she need to go to the doctor?"

Dad's eyebrows rose, "Honey, she's fine, just a minor cold. No need to worry."

Relief flushed over me, "Well I better get going I don't want to be late for school." Without giving him a chance to say goodbye, I dashed up the stairs. I brushed my teeth and flipped my long, blond hair into a pony tail. Today there was no motivation to look nice. Although I did cover up the dark circles under my eyes. They were too distracting; no one would notice my electric green eyes if they overpowered by bags.
The air was cool as I rode my bike to school. There’s nothing more odd than autumn in Missouri; the mornings are freezing and the afternoons are warm enough to put on shorts. But besides the weather's mood swings, this fall had been incredibly nice. The cool breeze made me forget about everything for just the slightest second. When I got to school, I went straight to class and put my head down on the desk. My mind was wandering around, thinking of every which way I could fix the future. Exhaustion hovered over me and I could feel myself slowly drifting away…

The air was cool again, and the sun shined bright. I was outside, in town, running. But I wasn't running because I wanted to, I was chasing something. An Audi, in the far distance looked oddly familiar. I had to catch up to it and warn the person inside. They were in danger and needed me to save them. Before I could reach it, the car slammed on its breaks, spun out of control, and flipped. My body was frozen as I watched the car from the distance and waited for it to come to a stop. When it finally did, my mind screamed at me to save them. But it was too late, a truck came flying down the street, not having enough time to slow down. Right before the cars collided together I locked eyes with the person inside the flipped car. I tried to scream her name.


“MOM!” I shrieked so loud it made me fall right out of my seat. I was awake again; well, at least conscious enough to notice that my whole class was staring at me with big eyes. I let out a nervous laugh and excused myself to go to the bathroom.

I splashed water on my face and look a deep breath. Why did I have another dream about it? This had to mean it was coming soon. I couldn’t just stay at school and let it happen. Grabbing my backpack, I ran out the front doors of school. Nothing in the world would make me go back into that building, there were more important things on my agenda. I needed to find my mom.

Before I hopped on my bike, I called my dad. “Dad, is mom still at home?”

“No honey, she left to run some errands,” he noticed the fear in my voice, “Are you okay?

I hung up the phone instantly. There was no way in hell I was going to tell him about my premonitions. He would think I'm crazy, I mean, I would think I was crazy too if I were someone else. The last thing I wanted was to wind up in the coo-coo hut.

Next I called my mother but she didn’t pick up. I rode into town hoping that she would be there. Hundreds of people scattered the sidewalks. I called her again, no answer. Frustrated, I hopped off of my bike walked along the side of the street. It would be easier to spot her if I wasn't moving so fast.
Suddenly, a car zoomed straight past me making my hair fly into my eyes. It was the same Honda Sonata that sat in my driveway every single day for the past two years. My feet started peddling after her. I was zooming through the street, but there was no way I could catch up to her car. She was moving too fast. I called her name but she wasn’t listening. This wasn't happening, I thought.
Suddenly I felt my phone moving around in my pocket. I pulled it out and dialed her number. Ring, ring.
Answer mom, a tear fell from my eyes, please.
“Hello?” her voice sounded like a choir of angels.
“Mom I need to talk to you, can you pull over the car?”
“How did you know I was driv-?”
“I'll explain later, just please pull over the car,” Her car slowed down slightly and she looked in the rearview mirror. There I was waving my hand and smiling.
Our eyes locked; she gave me a smile back. For the first time all day I felt relief. Her eyes were so focused on me. I was so happy to see her and she was so happy to see me. But what neither of us realized was the car that zoomed past her cutting her off. It all happened so fast. She slammed on her breaks causing her tires swerved out of control. Her car moved every which way I saw in my premonition. This time has to be different, I ran towards the car.
The car was flipped upside down. I opened the driver door to try to get her out of the seatbelt, but it was stuck. I heard honking coming near me. There was only so much time before the truck would come plaster her car. With all my might, I yanked on the stubborn seatbelt. But there was no budge. I looked at my mother's limp body. She was unconscious but for some reason under the cuts and bruises she looked peaceful in her sleep. That's when harsh reality fell upon me; I couldn't save her.
The honking was coming closer.
I held her unconscious body one last time and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I whispered, “I love you, mommy. Sweet dream,” as quickly as possible I hopped out of the car. Ducking into ditch nearby, I plugged my ears and shut my eyes. My cries were drowned out by the sound of the metal impact.

Three days later was the funeral. It was a rainy day, perfect to be dressed in all black. As I walked towards the door of the chapel I froze. My heart ached so bad it felt like it was going to fall out of my chest. My eyes burned as I starred at the door that looked so familiar. Weakness had struck me, and I couldn't bear to open those doors.

I can't do this, and with that I gone in a flash, leaving my family members calling my name in the distance. I ran as far as I could into the woods behind the chapel. Rain puddles splashed up on my new dress, ruining my outfit. Makeup smeared down my face from the rain and my tears. My footsteps were like a cheetah's, careful but fast. When I felt like I was far away enough, I slowed to a stop. But instead of just catching my breath, my body gave out and fell to the ground.

Guilt hovered over me. I laid there shaking from the cold rain. How could I do this? It's my fault, it's my fault.... Hysterical and depressed I pounded the ground with my fist. Eventually my arms gave out and I just let the rain fall on me, let it wash away the mud and my pain. My eyes closed and slowly my mind left my body and wandered into my dreams.


“Baby girl,” a soft voice, which was quite recognizable, cooed me. “Why are you so sad?”
It was her. She was here with me in this empty room. Her body glowed in a white night gown. Not a single scratch or bruise laid on her beautiful skin. She looked young, healthy, almost even alive. There was no blue surrounding us, everything was pure white. This place was safe.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
“You have nothing to be worried about child, it wasn’t your fault,” she touched my face; her hand was so warm, so comforting. “This was always going to happen. I know you tried your best, and I'm so proud of you for it."
My eyes started to water, "But if I didn't try to save you... You would still be on earth with me and Daddy."
"It's not your fault," she repeated, still in her soothing voice. "This meant to happen. When fate has its mind set on something, it won't change. This was something you couldn't keep from happening. No one can change fate."
I rested my head onto her shoulder, "I wish I could stay here with you forever."
She lifted up my chin and kissed my forehead, "I do too, baby girl, but it's time for me to go. I love you."

My eyes opened and I noticed that the rain had stopped. How long was I asleep? It felt like at least an hour. Crap! How could I be so selfish? I can't miss my mother's funeral! My feet dashed through the numerous puddles on the ground. My appearance was quite horrid but there was no time to worry about it. Family members came from all around the country for this funeral and I, her own daughter, planned on not going. These thoughts made me sick, I ran faster. Finally I burst through the doors of the chapel but I abruptly stopped at the fork in the hallway. I took my chances and went down one of the hallways. There was no sign on any of the doors that had my family's name on it. I turned back and went down another hallway. Same results. The third hallway I tried felt never ending. This had to be the right one. The decorations looked so different with no tint of blue to discolor them. Eventually I got to the end of the hallway. I took a deep breath and opened the doors…
The room was empty just like in my dream. I must have missed the funeral. My mother was right. You really can't change fate.
Something inside of me pushed me towards the casket. Regretting it the minute I opened the casket, I looked inside. Words cannot describe how terrible her appearance was. Burns left her face unrecognizable. This monster was nothing like the woman I was in my dreams, the woman I knew only three days ago. Fearfully, I started backing away when I felt someone grab me from behind. A shriek slipped out of my mouth but I soon realized it was my dad. Although I was soaking wet and covered in mud, he threw me into his arms.
His grasp was so comforting, for the past few days I had felt so alone. But it never occurred to me that he was going through the same pain as I was, everyone who knew my mother was going through what I was. My dad and I needed each other now more than ever. He was all I had.
I told him everything. He listened. I apologized. He forgave me. There were cries. There were even some laughs.
Eventually when everything was said and done, we walked to the room across the hall where our family members and friends were mourning. It felt good to see all the people who cared about my mother. Hugs and kisses were laid upon me and although they usually make me feel uncomfortable, these didn't bother me. We ate dinner and when it was time to go, I was surrounded with more love and affection.
When I got home I hopped straight into the shower. The water warmed my chilled body. I finally felt clean. That night I fell asleep and dreamed peaceful dreams.