You think as though you’re in a dark, alternate reality. All happiness has died off. There’s this pain, this heaviness, eating away at your core. The sun can be out, but you can’t feel it on your skin. You’re convinced that there is no light of day anymore.
There’s this heat in your heart… just this enormous fire burning out of your control. You heave heavily with every breath. Anybody and anything sets you off, like a ticking bomb. You want to lash out and attack everything you see that is in your way.
You’re so alone. Literally cut off from the world. All of your senses have died off. You can’t feel or touch. You can’t hear or understand. You can’t taste anything anymore. You can’t think straight. You can’t see. You’re so numb that you can’t feel the warmth of someone’s hand. Sometimes, you’re convinced as though you’re not even human anymore.
It’s like being locked inside an iron box. You fight and you bang and you pray that someone will hear you… set you free. Then, you come to believe that there is no one out there. That it’s just a nothing world that doesn’t need you. That doesn’t want you. It hits you that there’s nothing worth getting out of that box for. You feel as though there is nothing of any significance to fight for. And even if there is, it’s just not enough. Living like this isn’t worth it, whatever it may be. You realize that you’ve been waking up and finding no reason to be here. Until, one day, you just lay there. You do nothing. You can’t move. You can’t breathe. You are slowly dying just by the fact that you’re not doing anything… not living. You’ve come to the point where you’re as good as gone.
Things you used to be able to do are now useless memories. The things you enjoyed are meaningless. Everyone you loved, cherished, treasured… can you even remember their names anymore?
The pain of everyday life begins to take its toll on you. It just pushes and shoves you until you’re on the ground, in tears, begging for mercy. You’ve fought and gotten back up on your feet so many times that you can’t remember why anymore. You can’t remember the point of it all. You start to think that maybe it’s not meant to be. You weren’t made to live a good and happy life.
You’re faced with an ultimate choice. Should you leave everything and everyone you’ve ever loved in violent sobs? Or just suffer the maddening torture of having to wake up another day, living with this agony? No one can make the choice but you. Of course they’d all tell you not to. But the real question is… will you?