Change | Teen Ink

Change

April 6, 2023
By Anonymous

Change is needed to survive. What can become of us if we don’t change.  My experience with change has been a real eye-opener. My life is more like me and not what anybody else WANTS it to be. I used to live a life where I wanted to be anybody other than myself. But, I hated it. So I gave up on that, and changed. Change is not something that can happen on its own but rather something that can be pursued or dreamt of. I believe change is in all of us.


When I was a freshman it sucked there were masks, I felt like an outcast. I wanted to do anything rather than be at school. I was never really a thing for boys and I didn't care. I was just a chill person. Then I met someone that I kind of liked but didn’t at the same time. Once we started dating I didn’t feel like myself I felt like I was changing in a bad way. A way where I can not express myself. So I ran away. I was free and I started changing in ways I couldn’t even imagine. I got a job.  I paid more attention in school. I got my own style. I started to play piano, I play for my church now. I believe there is someone stopping you from changing, someone stopping you from growing.


Another thing that happened was I used to get  mad all the time. Even over the littlest things. I didn’t like getting mad. I wasn't close to god back then. I used to get so mad that I remember I hit the wall so hard that my hand started bleeding, but I was never mad at someone. I was mad and pissed at myself. Always asking myself, “oh why did I date them?” or “why do I gotta be so stupid?”  That was just decreasing my mental health. I was always pissed. With or without reason. Then I just wanted to not be mad all the time. I wanted to appreciate what I have, and actually be happy. I wanted to change.


I ama result of change. Change can be a positive growth. Ourselves are the only people that can make it happen. Since I changed, I love to be me. I realized there is nobody like me and there never will be. 


The author's comments:

This is me.


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