Change | Teen Ink


November 2, 2008
By Anonymous

There comes a point in life when you find yourself deeply attached to someone, something, or some group of people. Maybe if it's a special someone, you feel like you wouldn't know where to turn if you were to lose them. You are so passionate about them, and your life is starting to revolve around them. Or maybe it's a sports team or another group whom you are spending countless hours with, and you become so involved with every single one of them, and you just don't want your time together to end. You learn so much about these individuals, and you have a great time together, working through struggles and bonding together to reach your goals. No matter what it is,it usually engulfs your life.

Then, there comes a point in life that this thing you love so much, gradually or abruptly comes to an end. You may see yourself spending the rest of your life with a certain guy, and then with the blink of an eye he feels he needs to move on. Or maybe you've worked so hard to come as far as playing in a postseason single-elimination tournament with your soccer team, and you find yourself coming to terms with the fact that you have lost in the first round, and that you've just played your last game as a Senior. Obviously, the relationship example is much harder to recover from, but both of these instances deal with the same feelings. Something that has been a part of your life for so long is gone. The feeling of comfort that you treasured is no longer there. Usually there's not much that anybody can say to you that will fill the gaping hole in your heart. Sometimes, it's easier to move on and look back on the memories that bring smiles to your face. Yet, other times, all you want to do is hide under the covers and sulk the pain away.
Among all of the grief, it is important not to dwell on what you've lost, but to emphasize what you've gained as a person from being so passionate about one person, or so proud of one group of people in your life.
At first reaction, the phrase "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" may make you extremely angry, bitter, and even more unwilling to smile. Yet, after you give yourself a week, a month, or maybe even a few months, to sulk under the covers, it becomes easier to think this phrase over. You will see what happiness somebody brought you, and how you'll go on in life knowing so much more about the world, and relationships because you had one with that person. You'll eventually realize that losing things or people that you love can actually make you stronger, because of what you've learned from them. I realize that my words might be making people feel worse about their losses. To come to the point of acceptance obviously takes a great amount of time, but when you feel ready to be strong and think about the past positively, you need to reward yourself by not focusing on what it is you've lost, but rather on how you've grown as a person.
Once you can stop crying over the guy who left the best thing in his life behind, you can forget about him, and focus on yourself. Focus on how what you've been through has got you where you are. After you've finished reminiscing negatively on that last game, think of all of your wins and all of the post-game celebrations. Think of what that team has brought you. And if these things that have come and gone have brought you so much to remember and love, just think about what there is in store for you in this beautiful life.

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This article has 3 comments.

Introvert48 said...
on Nov. 28 2017 at 2:22 pm
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I feel like this couldn't have been written any better this made me think about what growth as a person in this situation really is, thank you

oliviajr97 said...
on Jan. 27 2014 at 9:23 pm
This made me feel so much better, knowing a total stranger would write words of encouragment to whoever might need them. Thank you for writing this!

on May. 28 2013 at 8:39 pm
inspiredpassion08 GOLD, Vienna, Virginia
15 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You change your life by changing your heart." -Max Luxado

Thank you for posting this. That's all I can say.