“I love bad BEEP and that’s my BEEPing problem. And yeah, I like to BLEEP and that’s my BLEEPING problem.” It’s 11:30 the night before your chemistry midterm. You are woken up by the blare of an advertisement for sex and drugs: rap. Bigotry thumps and thuds into your private haven to obliterate your chance for academic success. In fact, you will be grouchy and sour all day because of this. You are not alone. This devil’s tongue has plagued hardworking and mature young adults like us for centuries. Brave comrades, we can conquer this evil together. We will join forces to work towards an Edenic world.

Our dark society is riddled with hatred called music. This poison attacks us with slander. Us teens may let slip a few naughty words here or there, but this is nothing in comparison. Lyrics are a jumble of racial slurs, anti-semitism, and misogyny. For example, we know that vulgar songs like “Bubble Butt” sexualize women against their will. Yet we thrust aside our wise inner voice. We chant this tumult back to the radio as it worms hostility through our veins. Would you describe yourself as sexist, racist, and prejudiced? Of course not! If we tolerate this slippery slope to discrimination, soon we will openly suppress women and minorities once again. Before you know it, women will be kissing their right to vote goodbye. People of color will be back sitting in the back of the bus. We all learned about Rosa Parks in school. Let’s follow her example. We can stay above the influence of brainwashing.

This virus was devised by well-known criminals who live to spread drugs and alcohol. “Sex, drugs, and rock and roll!” is a warning. Evil like “Your Love is my Drug” by Ke$ha and “Because I Got High” by Afroman promote drugs and alcohol. Hundreds of millions of people who readily eat up this clamor suffer from drug and alcohol addictions. After Lindsay Lohan released her two pop-rock albums, she developed a cocaine addiction. She was thrown in jail for driving under the influence and sweated it out in rehab three times. “When someone tells me not to do something, I'll do it more!” trumpeted imbecile Lohan. She was exposed to many noxious beats. To this day, Lohan hurts herself and others. She cannot recognise her dangerous mistakes. You could sing and rot in jail like Lindsay, or you could fulfill the potential I know you have.
Now, you may protest, “Who, me? Go be Lindsay’s roomie in rehab because of some silly little jingle? Never!” Carelessness gives sound pollution power. My dear friends, music does more than just promote substance abuse. The tumult itself is a drug. Science proves that artificial instrumentals and shrill or booming vocal chants are lethal to the human brain. Pounding beats force their way through your ear canal to destroy your intellect. Music leaves you dangling like a ragdoll. Like seven shots of vodka, this hazard numbs the senses and impairs judgement. Tune out the tunes so you don’t hit the booze. Better yet, end the raucous forever. Stay above the influence. Be the master of your own life. Abstain from alcohol, music, and other drugs to savor the most precious years of your life.

Wonderful things await you! Nowadays, young people have time to make a difference in the community. Some opportunities include spending time with elderly neighbors, assisting shelters for abused animals, or donating food to local soup kitchens. Volunteering will help you change lives. Connecting with others will fill you with warmth from head to toe. You will be popular and admired. Cute teenagers will squeal for your autograph. Instead of listening to racket, I tutor a small child to read. Everyone in town wants to shake my hand. Thomas Jefferson did not author the Constitution while bobbing his head to Fifty Cent. Turn off the radio and turn on your heartbeat. Do the right thing.

We are the next generation. Separated, we could fall off the path to success. We could drug our minds and neglect those in need. United, we are fighting back. We must slay this demon together. Like the great Barack Obama once said, “Yes, we can.” Thank you for your listening and understanding. Have a nice day.