Pineapple and Pizza | Teen Ink

Pineapple and Pizza

February 8, 2020
By spooky_23 BRONZE, Newton Highlands, Massachusetts
spooky_23 BRONZE, Newton Highlands, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Time and time again you have scorned my Hawaiian pizza. You look at my lunch with contempt, disgust; your face reveals all too clearly the revulsion you feel when you see pineapple on pizza. Pineapple, the tart tropical treat; the bold, bright, beautiful fruit. This yellow citrus has done nothing to upset the masses, yet it offends so many, and for what reason? Because it is married with the colors of the Italian flag? Because it sits among a nest of cheese on a bed of crunchy crust? Nonsense. Is a pizza with pineapple still not a pizza? Is a pizza not the canvas to paint the carbohydrate of your dreams? Is a pizza with pineapple not a beautiful marriage of two flavors destined to meet? Pineapple complements a cheesy pizza like the clear water compliments the warm sun. You dine and enjoy pizza, you pile it with toppings of all sorts to your liking. Yet when a certain acidic fruit comes near it, you gag, what sparked this hatred? If you would look past your bias, if you would open yourself to new experiences, you might just discover the perfect balance of flavor, acidity and fat. The disdain you teach me, will only feed my desire for all the pizzas in the world to be covered in pineapple.

The author's comments:

This piece was done as a Pastiche of Shylock's "Hath not a jew" monologue from The Merchant of Venice. This essay is number one in a series of 52 essays defending Hawaiian pizza. I'll get around to the other 51 later.

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