My North Star | Teen Ink

My North Star MAG

December 1, 2022
By Anonymous

One bitterly cold night, I wander along the roads in my mountain town. I trudge through the snowy grounds as the wind slaps my soft face, coloring my cheeks
a bright pink. My shadow gives the impression that I am a giant fluffy marshmallow due to being bundled up in my puffy winter jacket.

As I gaze above into the crystal clear sky, the stars twinkle while dancing in my sight. The streets stay dimly lit by the old-fashioned city lamp posts. When entering
the friendly neighborhood park at the end of the road, I feel myself slowly becoming enclosed by the crawling darkness.

Perched on a hill overlooking the city, I caught a rustic wooden bench in the corner of my eye. Sparkling white snow dusts the seat. It lies partly hidden in the shadow of the sprawling oak tree. After approaching, I scrape off a portion of snow with my non-waterproof gloves — I didn’t think that one through.

Relaxing on the bench, I admire what the lights offer. Each star is like a possible major; all majors lead to an infinite number of unique careers. Any of these careers can lead to a life full of light. As my thoughts spiral, all the stars seem to shine at the same magnitude.

I lose sight of the north star that is supposed to guide me down my path. The daunting possibilities that fill the sky overwhelm me. There are too many choices. I need clarification on which one to follow. My growing curiosity wants me to explore everyone — unfortunately, that isn’t an option.

The pressure lies solely on me to choose wisely and quickly. College is right around the corner, and everyone awaits my decision on a major.

The fear of choosing the wrong major consumes me, ripping apart my insides. A poor decision could lead me to a life of utter darkness and despair. The last thing I want is to end up as a 40-year-old, regretting my life choices, and wishing I could go back to college to pick a different career.

Is it possible to live a life with no regrets?

I feel lost while resting peacefully on the bench, enjoying the night sky. I feel as if the sky will somehow speak to me and tell me which major is the right choice — maybe I watched too many Disney movies growing up — so I continue to sit and ponder.

My head fills with my mother’s words, “The possibilities are endless, honey.”

How can there be so many possibilities? I won’t get to see what most of them are.

I always thought college was a place to learn and explore who you are and discover what you would like to do for the rest of your life. Never in a million years did I think I was supposed to have my North Star predetermined. The thought bewilders me.

How can I even explore my passions when I don’t know what they are? Are my current goals and dreams even worth pursuing? I’m only 18. I’m too young to decide what I

should do for the rest of my life. It’s ridiculous!

As I observe my surroundings, I hear the tree branches clash in the hallowing winds. The snow shimmers from the light of the stars. The animals whisper back and forth — the lights in the sky act as their guide.

Where is my guide? 

Frustrated, I try to understand the education system, hoping it will help me. I think about the philosophy of kids choosing a major before arriving at college. Students with similar interests in majors can be housed together to develop stronger friendships and can encourage good study habits. However, the chances are slim that someone will stick with the major they first picked. Many blindly choose without actually knowing. The grouping of similar individuals robs me of the opportunity to learn about other majors from different people. I cannot genuinely grow because I am stuck in an environment where everyone’s vision is the same.

I mumble to myself, “Why can’t I decide?”

The bench feeds my brain with ideas and curiosity. My indecisiveness makes me wonder what major can lead to almost any career. Which major will allow me time to explore the possibilities? And boom: Business pops into my head.

Does that sound alright? It will have to do for now.

So, I stand up from my bench and use the light from the North Star to find my way back home. As I meander the streets, I question my decision with every step and every breath. I pray I am not screwing up my life by selecting Business as my major in my future university’s student portal.


The author's comments:

It is an extended analogy between stars and choosing a college major.


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