Small Story Criticizing Workload From Schools + Rhetorical Analysis of Text | Teen Ink

Small Story Criticizing Workload From Schools + Rhetorical Analysis of Text

October 20, 2023
By Anonymous

In a quiet village, the birds are singing, the sun is rising, and students rose from their slumber, still tired from the late-night study sessions and arduous homework. With exhaustion drawn upon their faces, they trudge into their classrooms, where the test papers perch on the teacher's desk like a patient leopard awaiting its prey. Overwhelm with fatigue, students mindlessly fill out the test, praying that they’ll pass. School would give the students no rest, starting a cycle of classes, repeating one after another, until their day becomes synonymous with the word “class”. Students were unable to focus, fixating their eyes on the clock as if it was their saving grace, awaiting it to strike 5 signaling the release from this prison. However, what awaits them at home would make them yearn for their day at school. Upon reaching home, they work tirelessly to complete their homework, wishing to rest. “If only we were given more time to rest,” the students dreamed, “how much better would my life be, being able to focus better and become happier.”

In another village just a few miles away, the birds are singing, the sun is rising, and students are resting, still deep in slumber. These students had less work and a later school starting time. When they went to school, they were full of energy, entering the classroom excited about the test. Having fully digested the knowledge they were reviewing last night while sleeping, they were ready to ace this test. These well-rested students were able to pay attention to each class, fully being able to focus and learn most efficiently. Heading home after school, they were looking forward to enjoying a bit of time to play some games or hang out with friends. At night instead of dreading for tomorrow’s school, they looked forward for it.

Rhetorical Analysis:

            This short story about the daily life of students follows what a day for a student may be like with a school that gives a lot of work and little rest and compares it to a student in a school which gives them rest and less work. In this text, the author uses authorial choices like similes, diction, and repetition to build a setting where students are suffering, building pathos for the students that were struggling and then juxtaposing their lives with students who had more freedom, showing the reason why students should get more rest.

            The author uses similes and use of words synonymous to tiredness to create a sense of absurdity with what the students are facing, which helps create a sense of empathy for what students may feel. The author uses the sentence “With exhaustion drawn upon their faces, they trudge into their classrooms, where the test papers perch on the teacher's desk like a patient leopard awaiting its prey.” The author compares the exam as a leopard to emphasize the thing students are facing. When added with the words and phrases “exhausted” and “trudging slowly”, this makes the reader feel bad for the students, having to deal with an intimidating test when they’re very tired. The author also uses the phrase “Students […] fixating their eyes on the clock as if it was their saving grace”. “Saving grace” means a savior; this represents how desperate students are to go to rest. Using “saving grace”, it emphasizes the struggles the students are going through and how they simply think a bell ringing is their savior. Combining these two similes, it helps create a setting where students are suffering harshly. This allows readers to feel a sense of need to create change as many readers are or once were students.

            Another thing the author uses here is pedantic diction, choosing words like fatigued, mindlessly, and many other words that is synonymous to tiredness to emphasize their tiredness. Using fatigued and trudging to describe the state they were in in the mornings helps create a setting where students are tired, lacking sleep, and unready for the rest of the day. This emphasis on the state they are in and combining it with the situation students are going to face, it helps create pathos for the students as humans often feel bad for people who are suffering. Additionally, the author uses words like mindlessly and struggle tirelessly to describe the student’s actions whilst doing a task. Words like mindlessly and struggle creates a tone that students are suffering and working hard when they aren’t in the best shape. This sense of suffering that’s created with these words create empathy for the students, especially as they are still young, and many think they are vulnerable as students.

            Following describing the life of a student that is suffering because of school, the author juxtaposes it with a student that is not suffering due to school, helping create a clear contrast between them and show why students should get more rest. The start of the story of the second group of students starts nearly the same, but with the difference of one waking up and one still sleeping. This is a subtle change but when the reader sees it, it becomes clear what this student is going through and how much better it is. Moreover, the story continues with how this extra rest contributed to better test scores, better focus, and many other benefits. Combining these factors with the empathy created for the students suffering, it helps promote the benefits schools giving students less homework and giving more rest for students will have towards them.

Using similes, specific wording choices, and repetition, the author creates pathos for students that are suffering from the school giving them lots of work. By juxtaposing these students suffering to other students that are not suffering because the school they go to gives them less work, it creates a sense of it being necessary to help students by decreasing workload and increase rest time. This change in schools could not only make students’ lives better but also increase their overall success as well.


The author's comments:

This piece combines a short story that I created to criticize schools for giving too much work that causes many issues and an analysis of what I use to attempt to show that.


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