Learning to trust  is one of life’s most difficult tasks. For me trust wasn't an issue in the past although I never shared my stories with anyone but I trusted in what people told me .Believing in what people say is just me having faith in humanity lately I have been losing this faith , constant people lying , hurting each other , and simply appear to be something different than what they truly are . Now the important question is if these people really trust in what they’re saying and who they’re saying it to then why do they lie , as “never lie to someone you trust , and never trust the one who constantly lies” , is a well known saying.

Interpreting the fact that people lie and fool others was a hard thing for me to learn , because “If  I was honest why can’t everyone around me be honest.” my 1o year old self constantly said. The teenager me learned that life is sometimes unfair ; being honest to someone doesn’t mean they will be honest to you .Trust is a huge part of our everyday lives and influences our behaviours and lives in many different ways , some good and some bad but the most important part is learning who to trust. After several years with trusting what people told me I began learning that not everyone should be trusted this benefited me in several ways but as well added a burden to my full backpack of things to think twice about.

“I swear Laila, she’s lying !”

“Don’t believe her , she’s up to no good , why would I do that to you ?”

My two best friends bickered. There I was in a position where two of the closest people to me , people I have shared my daily experiences and details of my life with ,  the position where I had to pick who was telling me the truth . That was it , the moment where life slapped me in the face and told me people lie , people don’t always tell the truth , people don’t think about you but some only think about themselves.

Now this revelation came in handy but as well caused many downfalls within my life. It started of with paranoia, I even researched the fear of not being able to trust people , Pistanthrophobia, it was Pistanthrophobia. I questioned the smallest of things , imagine I questioned my existence and started to believe things my sister “joked about” like telling me was I adopted . “Was I adopted , Was I not , I guess I’ll never know” . Then that time period I realised the entire world cannot possibly be mentally distorted like I was and the question popped in my mind .
“Who do I trust ?”
“What do you mean ?” My mother replied filled with worry.
“How do I know if someone is lying , or if someone is trustable.” I rephrased hoping my mother would understand me.
I vaguely remember the reply but I for sure know my mother told me that the first people I can trust are my parents , her and my father and she mentioned why. That gave me a sense of relief , the sense that I at least know that for a fact that I have two people but who else? Slowly I learned , I observed and I concluded .
Four things to consider:
1.Think about it , Think about your daily conversations , any patterns of lying (consistency).
2. Ask yourself what this person is really about.
3.Use your wise mind , think about the person logically not only emotionally.
4. Considering you to a certain extent while making decisions , in other words not only care about their own good but consider you as well in the process.I realised that my brain automatically did these things after a while , but the realisation of the fact that people are not honest still caused great changes positively and negatively.

To begin with questioning people’s honesty is probably the top thing to teach kids today and I’m glad I learned it because of several reasons such as the following . I was less surprised and startled when people were dishonest and became more acceptant of the fact that not all people are who they claim to be. Realising this helped me sort out my real friends from people who did not really care about our friendship. This learning journey as well kept me safe from many incidents such as the cliche of my mother telling me to be aware of what strangers told me . At the beginning I thought she was just saying it in order for me not to talk to strangers but as I grew older I realised my mother was right ,; me considering my mother’s advice about questioning what people told me potentially saved my life.

The experience of learning that people are not always honest although helped me in life , it did not always come to my benefit. The questioning added a burden to my everyday life , instead of believing what people told me instantly I had to think it through.

Although that might sound like a good thing but eventually it can bring up conflict. For example , once a friend of mine claimed that she had a serious illness , I carelessly disregarded what she said because I believed that all sort of people lie for all sort of reasons. As I believed she was lying we slowly drifted apart because of my assumption, and unfortunately she was being honest; my friend was in the hospital the next week . Questioning people’s honestly as well can be a waste of time in certain situations ,  as if the person is genuinely honest and is asking for help in a critical situation as in helping a person who fell of the stairs or injured.

Being skeptic is an essential value to live by. Skepticism of other people’s honesty was a learning experience that had both positive aspects to my everyday life but as well added a burden to my backpack full of things to think twice about .Learning experiences In my opinion are an important aspect in the growth of an individual whether adventurous or basic but what is important is what the person comes out with after the learning experience.