Valentine’s Day | Teen Ink

Valentine’s Day MAG

By Anonymous

     Valentine’s Day is a day of love and romance for some, a day of chocolate and cards for others, but for many, it is a day of bitter desperation and longing. Every year when Valentine’s Day comes around, I hear my friends whine about how they don’t have boyfriends. They go on about how much better the day would be if they had someone with whom to share it. Blah, blah, blah, whine, whine, whine! But I’m not like other girls. I’m your worst nightmare if you are having a pity party. I don’t need a boyfriend; I am just as happy (if not happier) with some cheesy romance movies and a big box of extra chocolatey don’t-hold-the-fat chocolates.

What I do find interesting about Valentine’s Day is how it came to be. Though this holiday makes big bucks for candy and card companies, they did not create the tradition. The holiday began with a priest known as Valentine, his illegal activities, and the price he paid.

A long, long, time ago in a galaxy not so far away, in a place known as Rome, lived an evil man named Emperor Claudius II, but for the sake of brevity we’ll just call him Claud. Now, Claud wanted to have a big, strong army but unfortunately, the men of Rome didn’t really want to fight in any wars, and can you blame them? Anyway, Claud got this brilliant idea that the men didn’t want to fight because they were married and had kids and all the fixings for a fabulous peaceful life. So, Claud decided to ban marriage for young men.

Here is where St. Valentine enters. A bishop and rebel who believed in love, he continued to marry couples in secret. That just makes it all the more exciting, in my opinion. On the other hand, how much would a secret wedding stink? It would just be you, Valentine, and your betrothed. Well, I suppose it would be considerably cheaper than having a big bash, but it still wouldn’t save you any money on car insurance.

Needless to say, Valentine got caught. No more secret midnight weddings for him. Claud ordered that Valentine be put to death. During his imprisonment, however, he fell in love with a girl. Yes, there is always a girl. Some sources believe the girl was the jailer’s blind daughter and that his loving devotion cured her blindness. Before his death on February 14, 270 AD, he wrote her a letter and signed it “From your Valentine.” Looks a bit familiar, doesn’t it?

There is some speculation as to how St. Valentine died. Some say that he was stoned and beheaded, others believe he became heartsick in jail and died. You can draw your own conclusions. I like to think that he was abducted by aliens and is still on Venus ... just kidding.

The above is only one of many versions of St. Valentine’s story. By now it’s probably so mixed-up that we will never really know what happened, but that is true for almost every story. What is important is that St. Valentine died a martyr for love and marriage and all that mushy stuff. And I respect him for that. I know a few girls who would probably die for the same things. As for me, a genius once anonymously proclaimed, “Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.”

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This article has 30 comments.

on Dec. 8 2017 at 12:09 pm
corbincorbincorbin BRONZE, Whichita Falls, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Watch This" (dies horribly)


Theking6198 said...
on Feb. 8 2017 at 11:04 pm
Bravo!!! Really loved it. Short and to the point. Well done and thank you for writing this spectacular article!!!!!!!

kesha said...
on Nov. 10 2016 at 8:58 am
this is a great article!

Celesta K said...
on Jun. 15 2016 at 9:41 pm
I had NO idea this little article was still available online! Nothing dies on the internet! Thank you all for your kind words and I'm glad I was able to give you a laugh, even if I'm just realizing it now. -Celesta K (though now it's Summers)

Fboi said...
on Feb. 8 2016 at 8:19 am

mplo said...
on Dec. 31 2015 at 10:07 am
As someone whose birthday falls on Valentine's Day, I found this article rather interesting, dark, funny and cynical at the same time. I also wonder if the Chicago St. Valentine's Day massacre (a gangland killing spree that the famous late-1950's movie, "Some Like it Hot" was based on.) also has any relation to St. Valentine's Day.

mplo said...
on Dec. 31 2015 at 10:04 am
Hi, Asylum! Thanks for the mid-morning laugh! As a big chocolate lover myself (especially dark, bitter-sweet chocolate), I appreciate it.

on Apr. 2 2015 at 8:05 pm
PianoKeys97 PLATINUM, Medford, New Jersey
22 articles 35 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches." -Dita Von Teese

A very well-written article that explained everything almost in a humorous way so that it wasn't boring like a history lesson at all. In fact, I was hooked to every word. I also can relate to how it's annoying when people get to caught up in dating and think they need to date someone to have a nice Valentine's day.

lezann said...
on Feb. 21 2015 at 9:25 pm
nice article it helps me a lot

on Oct. 19 2014 at 12:01 am
Caroline0123456789LOL SILVER, Cincinnati, Ohio
5 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:

Well-written, though-provoking, insightful paper. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, and look forward to reading more work of yours!!

on Oct. 17 2014 at 10:06 pm
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND, Athens, Georgia
81 articles 5 photos 1486 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to be vulnerable; Triumph is born out of struggle; We notice shadows most when they stand alone in the midst of overwhelming light.

Haha. I love the humor; it made me smile. Also, I agree with you, haha. This is just amazing and phenomenal. I don't know when this was, but congrats that this is published! You truly deserve it, because you are a talented and amazing and wonderful writer and person. You have such a talent and greatness and light in you. Believe that, because it's so true. :) Thank you, my friend! For sharing this, so much. :) Thank you, again!

on May. 6 2013 at 4:19 pm
TargonTheDragon GOLD, Ofallon, Missouri
15 articles 16 photos 292 comments

Favorite Quote:
First dentistry was painless.
Then bicycles were chainless,
Carriages were horseless,
And many laws enforceless.

Next cookery was fireless,
Telegraphy was wireless,
Cigars were nicotineless,
And coffee caffeineless.

Soon oranges were seedless,
The putting green was weedless,
The college boy was hatless,
The proper diet fatless.

New motor roads are dustless,
The latest steel is rustless,
Our tennis courts are sodless,
Our new religion — godless.

I love it! nice job bringing knowledge to my  head!

on Sep. 11 2012 at 11:08 pm
stupendousman BRONZE, Peoria, Arizona
2 articles 13 photos 182 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hey, guys, if there's no wind, there's nothing to blow the leaves around." - from "Sons of Provo"
"Tough times never last, but tough people do"
"the best things in life aren't things"

HOORAY FOR CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dynamo DIAMOND said...
on Jul. 2 2012 at 11:01 am
Dynamo DIAMOND, Lahore, Other
54 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
I used to think falling in love would be personal. But it's all a big public show.

Well Chaucer exposed the love-making side of it:)

Bones96 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 21 2012 at 10:56 pm
Bones96 BRONZE, Charlotte, North Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn't about finding yourself it's about creating yourself-

Very good and amusing as well. I agree with you too I never got why Valintine's day was such a big deal. 

on Feb. 21 2012 at 5:12 pm
bookthief PLATINUM, Concord, Massachusetts
20 articles 0 photos 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser." -- John W. Gardener

Amusing, well written, and I completely agree... I find the hidden meaning behind holidays far more fascinating than the complaints of single girls (of which I am one). Thanks for the article!

on Nov. 24 2011 at 3:40 pm
The_Earl_of_Zerces PLATINUM, Waukesha, Wisconsin
36 articles 0 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
-Sigmund Freud

Hehehe, good job. Nice bits of humor put into all of this.

Bones96 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 3 2011 at 11:05 am
Bones96 BRONZE, Charlotte, North Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn't about finding yourself it's about creating yourself-

 I agree with you I don't care about having a boyfriend right now I want to study because science is my love. I am glad there are others who know the real history and care about that and not what the card companies make up. Your artical was great by the way very well written and amusing at times which I like. Keep writting!

on Aug. 27 2011 at 10:54 pm
Confused_scheherazade ELITE, Brooklyn, New York, New York
132 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
I know nothing, but of miracles.

I know how you feel. I don't mind not having a boyfriend and rather focus on my studies My sister is always going on about having a boyfriend. But I do believe in romance and belive Valentine's day is not about bragging that you have a boyfriend, but showing someone that you care. Write on.



on Jun. 24 2011 at 12:47 pm
Chacharoo BRONZE, Fort Worth, Texas
4 articles 4 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love you."

For a long long time, I have been looking for someone who shares the same opinion as I do, and someone who would actually get this story right... this is a great article.