Sporting events are a very common form of entertainment these days. For me, I’m a pretty big fan of hockey. When you go to a hockey game you will be sure to see many fans who go to enjoy the game and aren’t distractions to other spectators. Not everyone is like this though. In fact, I have compiled a list of six different distracting types of hockey fans, or fans of any sport for that matter.

The Clueless Fan


These “fans”, if you could even call them that, are the ones who somehow find their way into a hockey game, yet know absolutely nothing about hockey. If you brought one, or happen to be sitting near one, you will typically hear these questions: How many quarters are in a hockey game?, Why are there lines painted on the ice?, and Why is the net so small? These bring up a couple of my own questions: Why are you even here? Did you get a free ticket or something? Constantly explaining the game to a clueless fan will most definitely take away from your ability to watch some hockey.

The Play-by-Play Fan


A little obsessed, they bring with them enough equipment to try out for the Ghostbusters. Most recognizably, they will have a portable radio and headphones to listen to the play by play while watching the game live. With the growing rate of technology these days, I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a device to watch the highlights during the game, as well as keeping updated on stats from other games and sports. Take a look in the mirror pal, you aren’t Adam Schefter.

The Obnoxious Fan


They are always yelling down to the ice at the players—who can’t even hear them—and never shut up. They think they are better than the coach. They think they are better than the players. They think they are better than the refs, the trainers, the equipment managers, and even the zamboni driver. The best part is, they always seem to be sitting near me.

The Jabber Jaw Fan


They just talk the entire game, without paying attention to the action. It’s like the game isn’t even there. They talk about their mother, their father, their sister, brother, dog, weekend; anything that could possibly break your concentration on the game. Can’t they see there’s a hockey game being played in front of us? How about we talk about that?

The Cell Phone Fan


Like the Jabber Jaw, they will be talking the entire game, except on their cell phone. To make matters worse, they will have to talk considerably loud, because it’s already hard enough to hear in the arena. They are the reason cell-phones aren’t allowed in movie theaters.

The Food-Runner Fan(s)


Not so much a fan of hockey as they are a fan of food; they get up multiple times during the game to run and get more food. Hamburgers, hotdogs, french fries, nachos, popcorn, ice cream; if it’s sold, they’ll eat it. It’s a vicious cycle of eating and then burning off the calories while running to get more food. And if you’re sitting in the middle of the row, you have to get up multiple times during the game to let them squeeze in and out.
___


As you can see, there are plenty of annoyances at hockey games and other sporting events. Some of these fans are more obnoxious than others, but all are distracting. And in a strange way, I can’t imagine a hockey game without them. All in all, sports provide an exciting and engaging form of entertainment, and that’s what it’s really about. So get off the phone, stop eating, shut up, and start watching the game! Maybe you’ll learn a thing or two.