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How to Procrastinate
Ingredient(s):
One high school student
A sprinkle of anxiety
A galaxy of boredom
A pocketful of fidgeting
A phone
Good Wifi connection
An era of Instagram scrolling
A heap of disappointment
A pair of parents
A teacher
A late alarm clock
An ocean full of regret
Optional Ingredient(s):
A season of Netflix
Directions:
To begin, locate the nearest high school student, any size will work. Next gently work a sprinkle of anxiety into the student; Caution! Too much will cause student to finish work. Next fill the student with boredom, it is normal if the boredom overflows. Place the boredom filled student in a cold school, let sit for seven hours. About four hours into the chilling add a pocketful of fidgeting, this allows the student to focus on that, instead of school. While the student is at school prepare the Instagram scrolling, be sure there is a phone and good Wifi connection otherwise you will need to restart. Once the student is chilled for seven hours pour an era of Instagram scrolling, be sure to mix the phone and the Wifi in. OPTIONAL: lightly sprinkle a season of Netflix for more time wasted. Let sit for 10 hours. While waiting prepare the student for a heap of disappointment, a pair of parents, and a teacher. Return in the morning to complete directions. Finally, a late alarm clock will prepare the student for the ocean full of regret, while mixing in the previously finished heap of disappointment, pair of parents, and teacher waiting for the student. This recipe will provide the bittersweet taste of procrastination. Best served when you don’t want to work, and will last as long as you let it.
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This is a type of poem in an Uncommon Recipe format. It is like a traditional recipe but made to be more interesting.