It was a moment of pure bliss. It felt like the world had stopped spinning and all wars were paused. It felt like the life I had was gone, and I was invited to choose a new path. It felt like cancer was cured, and death was taking a sick day for that moment. It was a feeling where all scowls were pulled into grins and all screams were nothing more than a whisper. 

I finally felt free, like endless bliss would still await me once I exhaled. My lungs were tense as air fought to get out, but the silence filled with my lonesome heartbeat made pain irrelevant. It was a moment of release, despite my whole body lying motionless. Protected — from more than just what could make me bleed. The fan hovering over my serene figure blew a reminiscent Summer breeze across my eyelids. It was a moment of pure bliss — only a moment. 

That’s all I could ever steal. 

The pressure in my lungs broke free as my breath escaped me, and I opened my eyes. My brain found consciousness as I was pulled farther out of my slumber. The loud sounds of honking horns and cussing pedestrians replaced the delicate heartbeat. The breeze from my fan felt like a knife in my corneas as it brushed my open eyes. It was a moment of pure bliss, but the real world didn’t have room for happiness.  

The real world was going to put me back at my stale office, slaving for a boss who doesn’t write checks with enough zeros to live a life without fear. Mundane talks about coffee or the latest celebrity drama could never give me that feeling. Only when I was alone, in a world of my own creation, could I muster a grin.

That’s all I could ever feel amongst this sea of white jail cells.