“If you look around, you’ll find happiness” 

That’s what they tell me. 

That there will be light fluffy colors bursting out with joy

The joy that they say I need.

Like the pink hearts and red flowers that put smiles on faces

What does that entail? 

They tell me things like,

“I am here for you.”

“I am only one call away.” 

“I love you.”

What is that supposed to mean to me? 

If you meet new people, you’ll fill that gap they tell me

The gap that causes the darkness that sucks me in

That causes me to sink and shiver

I wish that could go away. 

Why can’t those feelings go away? 

I miss the happiness I had, 

Running in the fields with the bright rays of sun shining

The breeze filled with laughter

Smiles that are caused by the splashes while swimming in the waves

All of this was with her. 

So what is happiness without her?

Now running in empty fields with no one but myself

The sky is black like the deepest parts of the ocean no one can see,

The breeze that is now shallow and ice cold

Now drowning in the waves that crash over my head

With water filling my body

Sinking with every thought of her being gone. 

What do I do without her? 

Those who love the me still,

Hear the tears I have at night

Because I wasn’t given a choice

I was left all alone. 

Why is the pain just getting worse? 

I can't let you see my tears fall

I can’t let you see me shut down

I pretends to be okay

So you can’t be sad because of me.