I Tore The Walls (You Said Goodbye) | Teen Ink

I Tore The Walls (You Said Goodbye)

June 2, 2008
By Mighty.Morphing.Brower.Ranger GOLD, South Haven, Michigan
Mighty.Morphing.Brower.Ranger GOLD, South Haven, Michigan
15 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Air goes in and out. Blood goes round and round. Any variation is bad.


The ripped wallpaper reveals black holes,
So like my soul, my heart that you stole,
And I hang in the silence of agony,
And I hang in the agony of cold

I gave you a key on a necklace of glass,
I want it to mask, but the demon does pass,
And I cower in shadow of my fury,
And I cower in fury of your last

My hands itch to hold you on last time,
To cross the line, to call you mine,
And I die in the burning of the sun,
And I die while the sun still shines


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This article has 12 comments.


Ayyad BRONZE said...
on Jan. 24 2012 at 9:51 pm
Ayyad BRONZE, Harvey, Louisiana
1 article 0 photos 13 comments
I love this poem!! Also I love tge rhyme pattern!! If u like please checkout my first and only poem!

TRAPBOYZ5 said...
on Oct. 3 2011 at 9:52 am
MAN THYSE POEM IZ STRAIGHT IT AINT ALL THT THO I KAN DO BETTA SO KEEP IT GUDDY AN RITE A BETTA ONE SHAWTY

on Aug. 20 2011 at 8:22 pm
mrittmritt77 GOLD, Ann Arbor, Michigan
15 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
I will arise and go now, for always night and day

I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;

While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements gray,


I hear it in the deep heart's core.

i like it :) and the rhyming pattern's unique too. nice work

 


on Feb. 25 2011 at 9:48 am
grammargurl BRONZE, Marshalltown, Iowa
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
The line "my hands itch to hold you one last time" is very relatable. This poem is written very powerfully and put a lot of thought into it. 

Farmer said...
on Feb. 25 2011 at 9:43 am
Farmer, State Center, Iowa
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
This is a good poem.  You can really see what the writer is talking about.  Good job!

on Feb. 25 2011 at 9:42 am
jamiejean12 BRONZE, Marshalltown, Iowa
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
I really liked this poem. It is very relatable and i like the detail put into it.

on Nov. 29 2010 at 8:03 pm
Treckintime SILVER, Bradenton, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not let others believe what you can achieve, but achieve what you believe."

This is really good. But can you like maybe explain what "And I cower in the fury of your last." means? It would make a lot more sense if i knew. Oh and can you please check my work and see if you like it and comment and rate?

on Sep. 24 2010 at 8:18 pm
Luminescence BRONZE, New Shoreham, Rhode Island
4 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writer's block: n. When characters get tired of everything you put them through and go on strike."

Wow, this is very good! You obviously put a lot of emotion into it.

on Jul. 20 2010 at 1:30 pm
Collado92 PLATINUM, Ft.pierce, Florida
26 articles 0 photos 35 comments

this is really good, I really like this.

Please check out some of work and let me know what you think.


on Jul. 20 2010 at 9:44 am
writer62 SILVER, Springfield, Virginia
5 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
" in order to be the best you have to play the best, in order to play the best you must practice the best, in order to practice the best you must practice the most. Practice is the key to being the best!"

great! this is good!

on Apr. 1 2010 at 2:17 am
I definitely agree - I love this poem! I love how you repeat the main ideas, and then extend then. Elaborate them. I think it has great potential to be the best actually.

tammy said...
on Nov. 20 2009 at 11:47 pm
i love this poem. it discribes a lot of things in live that all i have to say