O clock, have you ever been smashed before?
Been hammered, crashed, and thrashed before?
I think ‘til now you’ve dodged your fate,
Thus with justice I annihilate
Your numbered face and snide pendulum
(Forever have I stared at the pendulum).
You’ve lived your life and filled your role,
And now I’ll delight in placing a hole
In your double-polished chestnut frame,
Your ever-so-shiny polished frame.
So in summ’ry, clock, I bid you goodbye
Be honored, few mere objects could dream to die
So stylishly as to be smashed by a hammer.
Know you, good clock, why I hold this hammer?
Your ceaseless chiming, ticking, tolling, ringing
Is making me crazy, so I’m going to smash you!