Something bugs me and I can't explain it.
Like the sting of a wasp or bite of a tick.
It hurts and then it doesn't, but what is
it? No one can explain the pain I suffer
when I think of you, but then again there
is sometimes no pain at all. I think of how
I wished we were together, but then I think
your better off without me. Tears sometimes
fall, but then I smile cause I know your
happy without me.

My friends ask me if I plan on dating someone.
All I say is no, because I know there is
someone for me, but he isn't here in the county.
At least that's what I think, but I will never
know. The pain I feel is something that comes
when I think of how I miss you, my friend, and
aquaintence. I miss talking and making jokes.
But I'm also at peace cause the pain of not hearing
you speak to me or email me disappears when
I think of things you could be doing.

I ask myself why? Why didn't I tell you how I
felt? The answer is this, things wouldn't have
changed if I did. I'd still miss you, you wouldn't
email me, or even talk to me any more. So why?
Why are we friends if you don't keep in touch?
That's a question I'll never know the answer to.
When I see you again, I may speak and I may not,
I'm changing in more ways than one, but you wouldn't
know cause you don't check up on me when I check
on you and you never answer my emails, so tell
me what's the point of being friends if you don't
say a word, or answer emails when I ask you how you
are fairing in school or at home? I'll never know.