You'd think it'd be easy
to write your name on lines,
to say your name without blushing.
I've tried
and it's strange because I see you
whenever I need you,
like when I'm asked to say your name.
I drew a substitute with
crayola crayons.
It's sloppy and I know it.
And it makes me look childish
or mysterious
whenever I use it.
I hate how
crayons never draw a solid line,
but come out in chunks when you think
they won't. Like a lie
made of wax.
I'll always keep you in ink
in my front pocket
my substitute in back.
You stained me
but I can never say your name
maybe I should take you with
and you can name yourself.
Help me rip apart this greasy card.
Don't tell anyone
(but I love you)
but your name isn't and never shall be
Matthew.
you more than deserve
that I will always
say your name.