Touch Of Stone | Teen Ink

Touch Of Stone

July 6, 2012
By Matt27 SILVER, Englewood, Colorado
Matt27 SILVER, Englewood, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Outsiders who see rules and not the love that runs through them are often too ready to label other people as 'prisoners'." -Iris Murdoch in The Sea, The Sea


She’s “with me all the time,
The drugs can have my mind, love,”
She’ll “want the rest you’ll find,
And” she’s “with me all the time.”

And it’s true, she is.
Right here between my two temples,
She sits as if she’s some pagan statue,
Resembling a Greek goddess
And I can’t get her out.

She just sits there,
Demanding my worship,
Drawing my soul from its depths,
To be met only with the unforgiving touch of stone.

Stone as are her thoughts of me,
As are her feelings and emotions for me,
Any fantasy that may have been has now died,
As does a dog when starved beyond recovery.

And worry not,
I’ll be far too blind with despair to invade her happiness,
I can hardly see the stars in the skies,
Let alone those that linger in her eyes.

The ones that speak of the frivolous joy and wonder,
That she seems to find through anyone but me,
That would remind me of my own flaws and failures.
No, I’m too blind to see those.

Not blind enough though,
To be drowned in darkness,
But blind enough to be taunted by blurred images of life.
Images that seem to tell me,
“Look we exist.
The world is grand and beautiful
And never again will you be able to see it.”
If only I had my mind.

If only I had my mind.
Maybe then I could have my eyes.
Maybe then beauty could come up and engulf me as it used to.
Maybe then I could feel the touch of passion,
Caressing my heart.
Maybe then I could bathe in peace as I once did.
Restore my sight I beg you.



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This article has 10 comments.


Matt27 SILVER said...
on Aug. 15 2012 at 1:44 pm
Matt27 SILVER, Englewood, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Outsiders who see rules and not the love that runs through them are often too ready to label other people as 'prisoners'." -Iris Murdoch in The Sea, The Sea

Thank you, and I don't take offense really, I only wish it were true. Sadly, she was actually very nice.

on Aug. 11 2012 at 1:02 pm
writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;it&#039;s impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default.&quot;<br /> -J.K.Rowling

Wow this is such a good poem!!! I didn't really get in the begining but as I kept reading it got more clear that  this is about a break up.  Who ever insprired this poem must have been a jerk...no offence.  But the writing is amazing!!!! 

Matt27 SILVER said...
on Jul. 19 2012 at 12:03 pm
Matt27 SILVER, Englewood, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Outsiders who see rules and not the love that runs through them are often too ready to label other people as &#039;prisoners&#039;.&quot; -Iris Murdoch in The Sea, The Sea

Thank you for the honesty. I see what you're saying for sure. I'll definitely check out your stuff.

Eirias SILVER said...
on Jul. 19 2012 at 8:21 am
Eirias SILVER, Spring, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you wish to be a writer, write&quot; -Epictetus

As for my stuff: All of it (of course) is amazing except for the "Put this down" one . . . most people seem to like "Abominations" and "Like a New Yorker" best. Both of those were written pre-knowledge-of-meter. I also have a piece in teh forums that I'm working on.

Now for this piece--

I'm not sure what teh quotation marks are for.

stanza 2: I like the "between temples" part . . . "And I can't get her out" isn't a bad line, but it IS misplaced . . . perhaps ending with " She sits . . . pagan statue" to follow up with the next stanza?

And the way that stanza is phrased, it seems as if SHE is met with stone . . . some clarification is needed.

Stanza 4 doesn't quite make sense.

5: why would I worry? And that rhyme was so philistine . . . it's like putting chocolate syrup on steak . . . or having a conversation while in a men's restroom . . . or reusing your plate at a buffet and using your hands to put the food on your plate . . . random rhymes don't work, ESPECIALLY if it is eye/sky, love/dove, boy/joy, night/light . . .

 

I liked the theme of stone, but then it seemed to turn to blindness? I think the title might benefit from including both of those motifs. Sorry if I was a little brief, but it's getting really late.


on Jul. 17 2012 at 3:33 pm
Chibi_Danni PLATINUM, Melbourne, Florida
24 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
!~Danni always loves her bunnies~!

Truly inspiring, enjoyed the depth u had to it!

Keep writing,

Danni


on Jul. 15 2012 at 2:05 pm
Poetic_Person GOLD, Shippensburg, Pennsylvania
18 articles 8 photos 40 comments
This is beautiful. It's one of those poems where you don't have to understand everything about it, but it's still very impacting. Great job!

on Jul. 12 2012 at 3:40 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

OKay that's what i thought! It's quite an incredible way to describe a breakup though! The way that you wrote it made me second guess whether this was an actual person or personification of an event that happened to you. It could be interpretted in different ways and that is a very good thing!

Matt27 SILVER said...
on Jul. 12 2012 at 3:36 pm
Matt27 SILVER, Englewood, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Outsiders who see rules and not the love that runs through them are often too ready to label other people as &#039;prisoners&#039;.&quot; -Iris Murdoch in The Sea, The Sea

Basically, a girl who I was dating, and who I cared for very much, left me.

on Jul. 12 2012 at 3:27 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

Nice work! Wonderful words! The meaning is not as clear on this one (I had to read a few times and the meaning is a little muddy). Could you possibly tell me what inspired you to write this piece so that i understand it a bit better?