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Touch Of Stone
She’s “with me all the time,
The drugs can have my mind, love,”
She’ll “want the rest you’ll find,
And” she’s “with me all the time.”
And it’s true, she is.
Right here between my two temples,
She sits as if she’s some pagan statue,
Resembling a Greek goddess
And I can’t get her out.
She just sits there,
Demanding my worship,
Drawing my soul from its depths,
To be met only with the unforgiving touch of stone.
Stone as are her thoughts of me,
As are her feelings and emotions for me,
Any fantasy that may have been has now died,
As does a dog when starved beyond recovery.
And worry not,
I’ll be far too blind with despair to invade her happiness,
I can hardly see the stars in the skies,
Let alone those that linger in her eyes.
The ones that speak of the frivolous joy and wonder,
That she seems to find through anyone but me,
That would remind me of my own flaws and failures.
No, I’m too blind to see those.
Not blind enough though,
To be drowned in darkness,
But blind enough to be taunted by blurred images of life.
Images that seem to tell me,
“Look we exist.
The world is grand and beautiful
And never again will you be able to see it.”
If only I had my mind.
If only I had my mind.
Maybe then I could have my eyes.
Maybe then beauty could come up and engulf me as it used to.
Maybe then I could feel the touch of passion,
Caressing my heart.
Maybe then I could bathe in peace as I once did.
Restore my sight I beg you.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 10 comments.
As for my stuff: All of it (of course) is amazing except for the "Put this down" one . . . most people seem to like "Abominations" and "Like a New Yorker" best. Both of those were written pre-knowledge-of-meter. I also have a piece in teh forums that I'm working on.
Now for this piece--
I'm not sure what teh quotation marks are for.
stanza 2: I like the "between temples" part . . . "And I can't get her out" isn't a bad line, but it IS misplaced . . . perhaps ending with " She sits . . . pagan statue" to follow up with the next stanza?
And the way that stanza is phrased, it seems as if SHE is met with stone . . . some clarification is needed.
Stanza 4 doesn't quite make sense.
5: why would I worry? And that rhyme was so philistine . . . it's like putting chocolate syrup on steak . . . or having a conversation while in a men's restroom . . . or reusing your plate at a buffet and using your hands to put the food on your plate . . . random rhymes don't work, ESPECIALLY if it is eye/sky, love/dove, boy/joy, night/light . . .
I liked the theme of stone, but then it seemed to turn to blindness? I think the title might benefit from including both of those motifs. Sorry if I was a little brief, but it's getting really late.
Truly inspiring, enjoyed the depth u had to it!
Keep writing,
Danni
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Favorite Quote:
"Outsiders who see rules and not the love that runs through them are often too ready to label other people as 'prisoners'." -Iris Murdoch in The Sea, The Sea