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Sweet Breeze
February 23, 2009
Sweet breeze,
Stirring the trees,
With so much ease,
Never-ending,
Always moving,
Bear us some coolness
While, none-the-less,
We will wait
For you to create
A sweeter coolness
For us
As we hike
In the likes
Of nature.
© Loren J., Hallettsville, TX
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This article has 2 comments.
Joanna said...
on Aug. 13 2009 at 11:46 pm
I like the quick rhymes you used in this, but I wish there was more of a pattern with them. What I mean is, "Never-ending, Always moving" look kind of out of place, as does, "A sweeter coolness For us". Also, "None-the-less" is a wee bit awkward. I really like this, but it could be so much more refined with a little tweaking.
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