My Life

Things come up
As you think everything goes down
Your mind slowly fades
You may think times slowing down
But really its passing you by
You don't know what to do
You cant say a word without fear of losing them
With eyes sewn shut so you cant see whats really going on
And lips glued together
Its almost better this way
Almost better you don't have a say
But now your words cant come out through your mouth
So they come out your fists
People underestimate you
They don't know what your capable of
So with everything on your slate
Peoples lives in your hands
Do you let it all out
Risk losing them risk losing everything you've worked up to
Do you expose them for what they are to make things right?
Do you do this to make yourself and them happy in the long run
You've tried once, didn't work out to well
But if you try again you risk losing everything
Everyone from your future wife to your worst enemy
Its not worth it you tell yourself as you hold it all in
You just push it to the back of your head again
Hoping it will all just go away
But it wont, it just comes back to haunt you
Over and over and over again
The only thing you find that works is to solve things with your fists
Let those words spill out but not through your mouth
But through the blood dripping from your knuckles down your fingers
You love them though that's why you don't say a word
Some call it bipolar, some call it anger problems
they all call it different things
I don't call it that, I don't make up excuses
I call this my life and the only thing that can change is me
So as I rip through the stiches holding my eyes shut
Tear through the gripping glue
Wipe the blood dripping from these bruised knuckles
My words finally come out
Not in plain English but through rhymes and metaphors
I write my thoughts put them on paper, this is how I keep my sanity
This is how I can solve my problems
This is my life
How I deal with it
This is the life of'