I’m driving myself home or I’m walking in a school hallway. I’m taking my time. I’m slower. I guess more vulnerable.

i don’t cry. i don’t breathe. i don’t blink

***BANG

hot like a gun

It hits me. It hits me hard. hard like a brick.
almost, I become.
empty.

It’s just for a second *insert the most halting period that could ever exist*

it

feels

like nothing

and everything

all at once

maybe it’s a hole a big gaping hole, swallowing. or it’s the blackness.

the blackness scares me the most.

nothingness scares me more than any somethingness
because you know somethings
whereas you can’t even imagine nothings.

and the black nothing knows you.
it knows me too. well.

If you and I were to run away
would we be able to outrun it

I like to think we can

I like to think that the black nothing can never touch our hairs ever again

freedom breath floating wings flight smiles space air light weightlessness no fear
freedom.

i know that can never happen.

It would catch up to us. and not let us go.

well, whatever

this is fine

i’m okay

i’ m  o k a y

i’  m   o  k  a  y

i’   m    o   k   a   y

i’    m     o    k    a    y

i’     m      o     k     a     y

the black nothing is taking me now

goodbye.

*Insert an even more halting ending if possible*