The Broken Wing | Teen Ink

The Broken Wing

April 5, 2009
By PenInHand GOLD, Fayetteville, North Carolina
PenInHand GOLD, Fayetteville, North Carolina
12 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Kemps!"


Fluttering, soaring,
nothing but air,
the birds without
troubles, without a
care...

That's what you see,
but know what you don't?
The pain and the sorrow of
a bird, all alone.

A broken wing, with a broken soul,
This is what you see,
in a bird so alone.

The others fly on,
leave him to die! But
he knows he can soar with the others...
If he tries.

Then the child comes along,
wants to fly like a bird,
and filled with song!

She sees the little bird all on her own, and says to her mother, "Can we please take her home?"

The bird once so free, had dropped to the ground, left to die,
making nary a sound.

The bird was found,
who was once so alone,
and where is it now?
The bird found a home.


The author's comments:
Just something random I jotted down... PlEaSe comment!! Thanks!!

~PLP

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This article has 10 comments.


PenInHand GOLD said...
on Jul. 19 2010 at 6:46 pm
PenInHand GOLD, Fayetteville, North Carolina
12 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Kemps!"

Thanks! I wrote it in, like, 5 minutes. Haha... =]

on Jul. 19 2010 at 6:15 pm
Sissybug2012 PLATINUM, Union, Missouri
36 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"the greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return." -MOULIN ROUGE (song lyrics)

LOL, THIS WAS SO CUTE!!!! I LIKED IT A LOT

on Oct. 25 2009 at 4:02 pm
LegacyPen BRONZE, Hudson, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
(my continued bio) Infinity, or Destiny of Infinity on here, is a total of 82,860 word count. I am in the editing process.

Hey don't worry about it! It's not your fault the last stanza did that. Thanks a bunch!

PenInHand GOLD said...
on Oct. 25 2009 at 3:55 pm
PenInHand GOLD, Fayetteville, North Carolina
12 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Kemps!"

Thanks for commenting! I'm glad you liked my article! Sorry about that last stanza..... I don't know why it ended up being over there. I'll go look at some of your articles now! But thanks again for reading

on Oct. 25 2009 at 3:09 pm
LegacyPen BRONZE, Hudson, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
(my continued bio) Infinity, or Destiny of Infinity on here, is a total of 82,860 word count. I am in the editing process.

At first I didn't notice that the ending stanza was shifted over to the far left and I wondered 'huh? that's it?' but then I found the last stanza, read it, and loved it! :)

You really are good at writing poetry! Can you please check out some of my writings as well?

amyxu said...
on Jul. 1 2009 at 3:13 pm
Hey I was browsing Teen Ink and came across your poem. This is so cute! But it can also be symbolic to, so I don't mean that in a condescending way or anything. It just struck me as being cute. I like all the rhymes you put into it and the way each stanza flows into the next. Great job!

Joanna said...
on May. 25 2009 at 7:43 pm
Joanna, St. Catharines, Other
0 articles 0 photos 165 comments
No worries my friend. I had a difficult time figuring out how to use teenink as well.

I'm glad you liked my poem/story thing. I feel like I have to appologise though, it is a bit depressing, or at least is to me.

Joanna said...
on May. 21 2009 at 12:43 am
Joanna, St. Catharines, Other
0 articles 0 photos 165 comments
I'm so glad the comment helped! I'm also glad you liked my story and poem. Did you read any others?

It always feels so special when people comment on your work, doesn't it? ^_^

PenInHand GOLD said...
on May. 6 2009 at 1:25 am
PenInHand GOLD, Fayetteville, North Carolina
12 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Kemps!"

Thank you for the critique! I'll try to use it in other poems!!



No problem!! I thoroughly enjoyed your story! And your poem, was cute and witty. I hope you continue writing!! :)



And, if you get the time, will you read my story "How the Grinch Stole Christmas-- The REAL Story!" ?? I would love your comments!



God Bless,

PLP

Joanna said...
on May. 5 2009 at 10:38 pm
Joanna, St. Catharines, Other
0 articles 0 photos 165 comments
Thank-you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my story and poem!!

I thought that the idea of this poem was really good, but I think it could flow little bit better. Play around with the lines. I hope this comment helps, and keep writing!