For here I stand upon the brink.
The brink of what? I dare not think.
I know not where to tie my link
Onto my life cliff’s dire brink.
I’m lost, confused, contrite, unfound.
I beat my head against dry ground
To search for answers, I turn all round
Of unasked questions far renowned.
My heartstring’s threads begin to fray
Begging me no longer to delay.
No more content am I to stay,
I must choose a path today.
To my left I see a mist.
A risky choice, I make a list
Of pros and cons, of who I’ll miss,
Of characters that bound to twist.
For in that haze a promise lies:
A lying promise I’ll soon despise.
Yet, my heart, it craves reprise
From silky nectar so unwise.
To my right a clear path’s set,
A schedule that must be kept,
The expectation of duet,
My promise lies full of regret.
I can see just where I’d go.
Downward footing, easy, slow.
But so mundane, it’s all I know,
I must break free from this plateau.
Behind me I cannot return,
A law of nature, solid stern.
I do not even dare concern
Over my past I won’t adjourn.
But from it I hope to acquire
A hint or two through what’s prior
To lead me to my heart’s desire.
Of what that is? I shall inquire.
Ahead of me I can’t foresee
Except the cliff which I’ll fall free
Below to what? To rock or sea?
A lone descent from which I flee.
The fall itself assures of pain,
Stabs of reality, void of games,
But I’ll land safe on summit’s reign
To find myself devoid of feign.
How long, how long the pain will last!
A steady thunder class by clash,
But I think, when last I’m asked,
I’ll readily have a sturdy mast.
Which direction? What to choose?
Right or left? Each ties a noose.
I’m scared of falling, letting loose.
Looking up, I beg a muse.
I seek, I hunt, I search for you.
Of who that you? I have no clue.
It changes daily, always new.
My scattered heart’s again askew.
And so I waste my time, I shrink,
Afraid to face that fearful brink.
So once more I shall rethink
My choices made of indelible ink.