The first time
I remember seeing you
I was logging out
Shutting down
Excited to go back to my friends.

Then the back door clicked
And you walked in.

I looked up from the computer
And my eyes met yours
For the briefest moment.

I remember looking down so fast
As my face reddened


How could I possibly
Want to leave now?

I glanced at the clock
Still five more minutes
Until I had to leave.

So instead of hitting clock-out early
I turned to you and introduced myself
As you took a seat in the other chair
And began setting up your laptop.

You glanced my way once more
And hesitantly introduced yourself.
The conversation started
But then plateaued.
It was the end of my shift.
I had no real reason to stay.

So I stood up fast
And ran out of the desk.

We maintained polite
small talk
in-between switching
shifts

And occasionally
we would pass
and you would make a comment
and your friends would laugh.

And that is when I realized
that you disliked me
so I vowed to dislike you.

And then…January.

You asked me to play ball
With you and a friend.
My heart sized for a moment

Although I had vowed to dislike you
And had convinced myself
Of your distaste,
I figured it couldn’t hurt
to play a game with you
and one of my friends.

And so I went.
And so we eventually talked.
And soon the small talk
Started to melt.

However, it wasn't until
You graciously covered
my shift
that the small talk ice
had finally been broken through.

We started
t e x t i n g
feeling one another out
would we, could we be friends?

And as it turned out
Yes, yes we could be friends.
And so I would sit with you
At your late night shifts

And as we began to talk
and started diving deeper into the water
I started to forget
That I had reservations about you at all.

You were so easy to talk to
We had a lot in common
We made each other laugh.


It wasn't soon
that I was already
calling you my best friend
and I yours.

And as it turns out
we were wrong.

No, no we couldn't be friends.
Because I wanted more
Because I fell into the water
And your waves pushed me over
and under until I no longer
could find the surface.

It was too late for me
But I could never say anything
for I thought your heart belonged
to another.

As it turns out
I was wrong.
You were wrong.
We were wrong.
It was wrong.
But you cannot help what you feel,
And you shouldn't deny yourself
the pleasures in life.
Because life
All too soon is over.

We were very wrong
to think that we could be
just friends
But I never thought
that we would go this far.

I find that
I am still struggling to stay afloat
in your vast ocean.
?Every day something new pushes me down deeper.
But I hardly mind anymore
The burning feeling
Is no longer deadly,
It is warm.

I have stopped fighting.
I have given into you.
As you have given into me.
We are both falling in each others oceans
And we don’t mind
If no one comes looking
to save us.