I know what it’s like to desire death, how it hurts to smile, how you try to fit in but you can’t, how you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I’m made up of bruises and broken promises. I’m not close to people anymore. I’m so isolated, it hurts to remember how close we were back then.  I’m used to saying “it’s me” “I’m the problem” but the truth is, it was you, you brought me down with your dehumanizing remarks about how I was the most socially inept thing you had ever met. I got used to the stares as I walked to my eight period holding your hand and didn’t know you were doing it to get back at your ex,” I now like to think that everyone is full of crap, born and raised by hypocrites. I used to think I was tough but I realized I wasn’t. I was fragile and I wore a thick armor. They broke me, I let them. I’m the girl that talks others out of suicide, but has a hard time doing the same for herself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not even antisocial, or depressed, I think, I just like to kick it on my own a lot.
HI.
My name is Nancy
Overthinking killed my happiness. Insecurities killed my self-esteem. Lies killed my trust. But I will never let you take what is left of me.