but you don’t love me
you just love the idea of being in love
but we both know that’s not something you’re capable of

i bring you your favorite tea
you say “thank you babe, i can’t compete”
but a relationship isn’t a competition
especially when you don’t even try

i tell you i love you
you say you don’t feel the same
but you could someday..
what am i supposed to do? just wait?
wait months even years till you decide you can love me
or that you can’t and that all my love and time was wasted?

we don’t have to be in love now , it’s early and we’re young that’s not what i mean

i know love is hard work and dedication but it won’t work if i’m the only one dedicated.

i just wish you could show me your feelings

you call me beautiful but you don’t show it
you stare at other girls and it’s fine to have an eye for beauty

there’s beauty in everyone and everything, i know
i just wish i felt like your eyes were on me for once
i just wish you felt the same way i feel when i look at you

you make me believe nobody will ever be able to love me

you tell me I am “too emotional” “too clingy”

but you act like a brick wall, unbothered

your friends hate me and you let them talk, never coming to my defense

you take it out on me and make me feel at fault

you make me feel like sh*t half the time and i shouldn’t put up with it
i should know enough to know this isn’t what it should be like, but i don’t and i probably won’t.  

i told myself to not let this happen
i told myself to get out before these feelings got the best of me

this isn’t going to last anyways if we’re honest

love doesn’t run like a one way street.

why am i so infatuated with you

you’re just a stupid boy stuck in your stupid ways.
it keeps me up every night either completely frozen or covered in tears
all i want is you and all i feel is unwanted
why is it so f***ng hard for you to love? to trust? to care?

there’s no love

there’s no attempts

there’s no trust

what even is there?

i need to get out before this kills me

and i guess that nothing is better sometimes.

and that’s what everyone tells me

“you deserve better , a wonderful woman like you”

but i set myself up for hurt because i don’t know anything else

and i’d rather bite my tongue than be alone

but i’ve become used to my jealousy , used to the fights

feeling like not saying a word will fix it all, if i just don’t show any emotion.

just like you.

used to the realization this could all end in a second

but i won’t let it unless you torch it yourself.

i try and i’ll try until there’s nothing left for me to do

But just hope you feel something too.