I am not like them, with their thousand friends

and their smooth, effortless words.

I am not like them, with their skin-tight jeans

and their stylish backpacks,

the brand that everyone but me knew was fashionable.

I am not like them, with their trailing tangles

of earbuds and their fingers darting and dipping

over their phone screens like frantic swallows at dusk,

texting, texting, texting everyone they know.

I am not like them.

I will never be like them.

I am not like them,

and I don't ever want to be like them.

Except sometimes, I do. 

I want to be the kind of girl that doesn't sit alone 

in the library at lunch.

I want to be the kind of girl who doesn't cry

in the bathroom during gym.

I want to be the kind of girl that has more than one friend.

But I don't know how. Is that wrong? Am I wrong? 

I don't know. I don’t know. 

I

   don't

         know