All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
Several Nights Outside
I was already feeling cruel to myself.
For several nights, and several months,
I salvaged all I could.
He taught me this; this taught me
that; mistakes that I ingrained in my head
to never recur.
I weld no control over my destiny,
and that was all I knew.
//
Several nights outside, I ran
from front to front, back and forth
as hard as I could.
I sweated in the torrid August noon.
I bled—by my ankles to my nose.
I used austerity as an inspiration,
never once citing my lack of resources
as an excuse.
When done, I came home with a
weighted perspiration, sweat so heavy
that my odor trekked across the rooms.
I came home with scratches, bumps,
blisters, and clots, around my hands, legs,
and feet.
Soccer was a goal of mine, and
I was determined to succeed.
//
Several nights outside, the winter
cold has now beset.
The fall season has concluded,
though I have forgotten to cherish
its moments, its time.
But, it was fine. I had someone
else to tell about my memories; I
had someone else to warn.
I walk, hand in hand, with my
little sister, guiding her to her
elementary, a school in which
I was once enrolled.
I showed her all the tricks
and tips that I had learned, and
told her that there was still
so much more to learn.
I told her all the mistakes that
I had once borne, and told curtly
that this wasn't to happen to you.
I told her my regrets of not
appreciating my teacher enough,
of not appreciating time.
And, when she asks me how
high school is, I tell her blankly
it's fine.
There's a path for everyone,
and, for now, she just needed to
wait in line.
//
Several nights outside, together
in mid-July, I ask him about his plans
for the future, as two high schoolers
bike into the uncertainty of the night.
He tells me that he’s set, though
I remind him of life’s woes.
I tell him how destiny never seems
to abide by your characteristics of
conscientious work.
I tell him that we should be nervous,
though he never takes it slow.
He scoffs and says that that
was him by nature, and that all
he needed was luck and time.
For luck was all he needed to attain
his loft, and time was all he needed to
prove that he was naturally gifted.
I tell him, one last time, that luck
may only work for as long as others
realize. Before long, hard work prevails
and soft luck will falter.
We argue, yet I prove right.
//
I write this poem today, to thank my
younger self for correcting my
rectitude, and steering myself in the
right direction today.
I write this poem today, to remember
my sights, the sights that I’ve set forward
to initiate yet another success,
a success that I owe all to my roots,
my parents who have, by some miracle,
conducted a mindset that prevails
to this day.
Life corrects me, day after day,
adjusting my grammar by the weeks,
and challenging my thinking by
the months.
Over a year, I realize that my
nights outside had paid off.
//
Seven years ago, I tried out
for three local teams and got cut
from all three teams.
Four years ago, I had felt friendless,
thinking that quarantine had redefined
the entirety of my social life.
One year ago, I had felt the competitiveness
of high school, lapping me by the months,
mercilessly killing me by the second.
I kept everything internal, though,
not wanting my parents to think anything
wrong.
But, Dad noticed.
He's only ever said that much to me,
and much of it used to be negative.
But, one day, I broke down in the
dining room, after a heated discourse
with my mom.
I cried so uncontrollably that I
ran away from the dining room, not
wanting my sister to get the wrong
impression of me, not wanting my
mom to berate me even further.
Later on that night, I sat alone
at my desk, typing up my homework,
now fairly indifferent to the emotions
earlier that day.
Dad walked over, just prior to going to bed.
His hips intimated that he was going to say
something to me.
He parks in front of me, and he says to me
“Don’t worry about the failures.”
“Keep your eyes on the success.”
A quite unexpected visitor, as though we've known
each other for over sixteen years, our conversations
may only account for one.
But, what if I lose again?
He looks down, and I could
see in his eyes that he wished of someone
to have said this to him while he was
young and struggling.
He says to me softly, with
one hand folded over the other,
"Do your best."
"I understand your struggle."
A struggle that I thought only
I beheld similarly manifested in the
arcane youth of my dad.
//
Several nights outside, I kept
the flame alight, hoping that one
day its warmth will effuse to the
whole of my community.
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 0 comments.
"Several Nights Outside" juxtaposes my deepest struggles with my most cherishable conversations to highlight my soft-spoken yet ambitious nature. The excerpted portion begins with my summer training for soccer, highlighting my pain-driven ambition: all my friends, many of whom I had played with since eleven or twelve years old, had made the varsity team during our sophomore year, whereas I was left alone doubting my abilities. The scene then flickers to a time after the season, when everything had gone right. During the last two months, I had, firstly, made the varsity soccer team, secondly, started my first game alongside my friends, and, lastly, experienced the ups and downs of the season with all 29 other players. This scene was for my little sister, who I could only advise to not take things too fast and to live life to the fullest.