He says it's who he is

Something he has to do

So I bite my tongue, pierce my lips, and bink hard 

trying to keep the pain concealed,

the same pain I’ve been forced to feel for the past few months as you alternate, contemplate, what you call communicate, as I sit there and take the beatings of your words, like bullets to the heart, ripping me apart, shredding my insides until it is just blood, that drains down my body, pooling in my limbs until cold feet really means cold feet.

Cause no matter what you tell me

That you’ve made up your mind,

The next day you come back with new ideas that you find,

But speaking my mind is like getting stuck in crossfire,

Like stepping on a landmine, or leaving a soldier behind

And once more I pretend to be okay as you describe all the ways you can possibly make me disappear.

But you don't see it that way.

You see opportunity, finding your path

But all I hear are all ways you can make me your past

But even through my tears, my eyes a blur

I can still see the strength in the man I fell in love with

The man with a heart so pure

So choose your future, is it me or the force

But stop keeping me on the tips of my toes because they are getting tired and they are going to give out. 

And depending on your choice you may be there when I fall

Unless you’re not

Like our future we planned together means nothing at all

But if you do make the choice

The choice to go

There's just one thing I have been meaning to say

That though there's much anger and frustration through all of our fights

The scrapes on my skin from begging on my knees

I am so proud of you

Because it takes a strong man to sacrifice

Six years apart from your family, from real life,

You’re entering a world of pain and stress

But you're entering a world of honor and respect

So no matter what happens

I’ll love you forever and ever

You’re my best friend, you’re my hero