My life is a lie.

A lie I know is not true but still continue believing in it.

A lie that hurts when I hear the bitter truth.

A lie I see reflected when I look into my own eyes in the mirror

A lie that smells of the sulfuric pits of hell

A lie that is sweet for a moment, but has a disgusting aftertaste

A lie that feels like an undeserving hug

This lie makes me hear sadness and anger

The lie turns my own mind into Alcatraz

It forces me to realize that my life isn’t a lie, it's my own truth

My life isn’t something I can confess, it is a fact I have to live through

So here I am, living my truth, wishing for it to become a lie that I can apologize for

This truth, my life forces me to seem like something more than what I am

Pushing me to learn everything so I can seem smart, only to deny it to try to seem humble

When really I’m just a low self esteemed narcissist

And when people ask if I’m ok, I can only respond “I’m Fine”

The universal cry for help, but I’m not smart enough to think of anything different

An overused phrase of patheticness

Too scared to ask for help, but still wanting assistance

I just end up feeling alone when surrounded by people

Years ago I asked for help, my mom said if I want to go to therapy we can set that up 

but I never asked again

I would just stay in the haunted sanctuary of my little sister’s bedroom

As the ghost tale darkness of night changed my house into a fake living nightmare

Tenebrae viget ubi lux perit, Darkness flourishes where light perishes

As the shadows told me horror stories as I tried to sleep

But that is my truth, and I am fine