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Parasite
Love doesn’t throw a dart at my heart like some people describe
I don't feel it like butterflies or moths and all the beautiful gentle things
Instead it feels like a sharp-toothed entity gnawing away at my skin, than through my muscle tissue, and right into the core of my soul
It cuts through all the bones and cartilage that stands in its way
It doesn’t even take the time to digest my zombie meat for that’s not what it has its eyes on
It goes through all the physical to get into a piece of me that no one can touch but you
I let you in and, neglectfully, you invite an unwanted guest into me
But I am too unassertive in your presence in case my height doesn’t surpass yours and my perspective as well as my opinions and thoughts just like my needs and dreams, are once again denied and I am left feeling smaller than ever
I know I deserve greater but I tend to settle for simply bigger
And so it asserts its dominance in my chest, expelling pieces of me to fit itself for god knows I wasn't created for it
The being you non consensually let inside consumes my strength because it's far too unfit and exterminates my fervor for how could it share a space with such a thing as benevolence
I traded my insides for nausea and revulsion as well as self hatred
The contrived beast lays down to rest and reproduces, quickly
Its found its host in me, meek and vulnerable, to lay its cancer for them to hatch and spread
The squirmy parasites find their way through my veins and its hot
They are hot and they boil
They eat me from the inside out
I allow them to exit through my tear ducts like hot lava running down my face
With a hole gaping and tendons swinging begging to heal
I scratch at it like a scab as I let my blood flow to your feet
I offer a home to the worst parts of you because I love you
And if you love that merciless thing with the sharp teeth and claws and deep hunger for young womens spirits i'll surrender myself to it because it will make you happy
But as you spurn my soul served on a gold platter, I beg you not to carelessly knock it off my hands like a frustrated toddler
Like a victim who just wants to be understood because you’re not
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