I read my own poetry and
the words about you leave
this taste in my mouth
something between soap
and rotten chili, something
close to vomit
even the words about
hating you taste bitter; I
wish I never thought of you
in the first place
I tried to hate you
I tried to love you
they're both fires of
different sorts, they're
both the same
the way my best friend loves the sea
but hates the rain
You are a paradox
a contradiction
all bell pepper seeds
and daffodil stems
You are nothing but
the bubbles and the soda machine
sweet on the tongue
cancer causing sugars
that multiply, but we divide

if I'm going crazy
let me drink the daylight
it's all I have left.