he sits next to me
watching me type this
telling me that im no good
not even your average blonde
telling me im weak
weak to society
and weak to my own past
he tells me im homeless
homeless in my own soul
telling me i cant feel this
i cant feel what they call happy
what the world seems to survive on
he tells me im the end
the end to all hope
and all love
for i will never find my one and only
he whispers in my ear
telling me stories of my years ahead
full of cats and coffee
not brushing my hair
and showers everyother day
no family to comfort me
no friends for no one can stand such a hideous face
this he screams at me
telling me
i have no strength
i have no power over myself
no love for anyone
let alone me
no love ever
for i am alone
from now till my days in the ground
in my coffin is where i will find happiness
for i will be rid of the pain of reality
the invisable boy tells me
that he is me
the inside of my heart
and my feelings
for he is the doubt
the doubt i carry on my shoulders day after day
the doubt i will hopeful escape