Cheers | Teen Ink

Cheers

November 26, 2009
By Jtrombetti1010 GOLD, Salt Lake, Utah
Jtrombetti1010 GOLD, Salt Lake, Utah
13 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Where do you stand?
Here's to the emptiness.
The unfulfilled soul,
Always staring at an infinite horizon.
To the heart of the abandoned,
And the conscience of the abandoner,
To an annual absolution,
Hiding behind a weekly excuse.
To the imprisonment of thoughts,
In a room without walls.
To the light that claims a follower,
And somehow leads astray.
To the path that narrows into nothing:
To you.
Here's to you.


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This article has 3 comments.


on Jan. 11 2010 at 11:28 pm
blue-midnight SILVER, Hoffman Estates, Illinois
5 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;beauty is not blond, <br /> love is not first sight, <br /> family is not for gain, <br /> respect is not a right, <br /> knowledge is not key, <br /> magic is not pretend, <br /> peace is not paper, <br /> goodbye is not the end&quot;

wow, I'm truly moved by your poem. I especially like the line " Here's to the emptiness."

If you don't mind me giving a suggestion, The very first line doesn't really seemed to go with the rest of the poem. I would suggest if you want to keep it then add a little more after the first line. Doing a nice transition from "where do you stand?" to "here's to the emptiness." But in general I really like it. It has depth to it and your vocabulary is amazing which makes your poem sound even better.

Like a quote says "poetry is a mirror which makes beautiful that which is distorted."

on Dec. 24 2009 at 9:20 pm
Lovebug07 PLATINUM, Topeka, Kansas
25 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects. - Arnold Glasow

I love it! Its deep and very good!!!!

on Dec. 18 2009 at 1:07 am
Jtrombetti1010 GOLD, Salt Lake, Utah
13 articles 0 photos 19 comments
I would love some feedback from everyone!