she wanted him to notice her
just to see if he could
just to see if he would like her
just to see if he would smile at her

she new she doesn't deserve it
she knew she would never deserve
his glance, to be noticed by him
she knew she would never be good enough to be graced by his smile

she knew all her father was true
she was weak and pathetic
she knew she was stupid and evil
she knew she was ulgy and wrong

she knew she had to be punished
and she knew only one way to ease the pain one way to make it all stop if only for a minute

she pictured herself
pretty, and smart
strong, and wonderful
she imagined him holding her

then she remembered her father
and threw up in the toilet

maybe now he'll think i'm
perfect

perfect


perfect.