The Tree | Teen Ink

The Tree

September 3, 2010
By sherberteater GOLD, Fruita, Colorado
sherberteater GOLD, Fruita, Colorado
13 articles 13 photos 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Friends are God&#039;s way of apologizing to us for our families.&quot;<br /> <br /> Thank God for friends like you!


He died on the tree
For you and for me
To save us from
Hell's pain and agony.

He died on the tree
For you and for me
To save us from
Hell's depth and despair

He died on the tree
For you and for me
So that both you and I
Could live eternally

He died on the tree
For you and for me
To say "Well done thy
Good and Faith servant



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This article has 14 comments.


on Jul. 5 2011 at 12:57 pm
sherberteater GOLD, Fruita, Colorado
13 articles 13 photos 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Friends are God&#039;s way of apologizing to us for our families.&quot;<br /> <br /> Thank God for friends like you!

Thanks. I will certainly look at your work.

 


Manish9 SILVER said...
on Jul. 5 2011 at 7:56 am
Manish9 SILVER, Kanpur, Other
6 articles 12 photos 110 comments

ey there's no book in the world that repitition in a poem is wrong..... i think that it enhanced the message that you were trying to get to the people who read it .... GREAT WORK  keepit up .... do read mine n tell me how you liked it ..

 


on Apr. 24 2011 at 8:14 pm
Basketball23 SILVER, Pine Grove, Pennsylvania
8 articles 13 photos 487 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m living in a shell with no soul&quot; -Three Days Grace (World So Cold)<br /> &quot;Time still turns the pages of the book it&#039;s burned&quot; -Avenged Sevenfold (So Far Away)

It was, but I liked it like that :D  And it's a great thing to read on Easter.  He has risen!!!

on Apr. 23 2011 at 7:20 pm
sherberteater GOLD, Fruita, Colorado
13 articles 13 photos 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Friends are God&#039;s way of apologizing to us for our families.&quot;<br /> <br /> Thank God for friends like you!

Hey, Thanks. I know it is very repetitious, but I thought it was necessary in order to get my message through to people. 

on Apr. 21 2011 at 2:50 pm
Basketball23 SILVER, Pine Grove, Pennsylvania
8 articles 13 photos 487 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m living in a shell with no soul&quot; -Three Days Grace (World So Cold)<br /> &quot;Time still turns the pages of the book it&#039;s burned&quot; -Avenged Sevenfold (So Far Away)

Despite what a lot of the other people think, I think the rhyme scheme and repetition enhances what you're trying to get at.  I love it.  And the meaning of it is absolutely beautiful!  I LOVE THIS!!!!

on Nov. 18 2010 at 6:13 pm
sherberteater GOLD, Fruita, Colorado
13 articles 13 photos 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Friends are God&#039;s way of apologizing to us for our families.&quot;<br /> <br /> Thank God for friends like you!

I know you just wanted to help. You weren't being cruel. Thanks for wanting to help me. It means a lot to me. Hey, if you want, could you read my other works and tell me what you think of them.

dead said...
on Nov. 17 2010 at 10:05 pm
im glad i could help. i dont want to be cruel, i just want to help your writing style improve. :)

on Nov. 17 2010 at 7:34 pm
sherberteater GOLD, Fruita, Colorado
13 articles 13 photos 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Friends are God&#039;s way of apologizing to us for our families.&quot;<br /> <br /> Thank God for friends like you!

thanks for the advise. I will consider it. 

 


Lothro SILVER said...
on Nov. 15 2010 at 4:28 pm
Lothro SILVER, Mequon, Wisconsin
6 articles 4 photos 16 comments
yes. i agree.

dead said...
on Nov. 15 2010 at 4:26 pm
repitition can be good. but this is too much. it seems childish and simple. try to forget rhyme and repitition until you develop voice and advanced imagry. if you use these your work will sound more profetional.

on Oct. 4 2010 at 5:25 pm
sherberteater GOLD, Fruita, Colorado
13 articles 13 photos 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Friends are God&#039;s way of apologizing to us for our families.&quot;<br /> <br /> Thank God for friends like you!

Thanks Monica. ikr. I will try to keep it up. <3

on Oct. 4 2010 at 5:23 pm
sherberteater GOLD, Fruita, Colorado
13 articles 13 photos 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Friends are God&#039;s way of apologizing to us for our families.&quot;<br /> <br /> Thank God for friends like you!

Thanks, I thought it was rough, but thanks for the encouragement. 

on Oct. 2 2010 at 10:00 am
Hope_Princess BRONZE, Hebron, New Hampshire
4 articles 4 photos 376 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.&quot;

Awesome, Hannah! I love it. The rhyming is very fluid. Keep writing more!

on Oct. 2 2010 at 9:12 am
distant_dreamer GOLD, Belmont, New Hampshire
12 articles 6 photos 497 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Life&#039;s a climb, but the view is great!&quot;

Hey Hannah, very nice poem! :)The message is very true and i'm so happy that it is on here! :) Keep it up! <3