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The Tree
September 3, 2010
He died on the tree
For you and for me
To save us from
Hell's pain and agony.
He died on the tree
For you and for me
To save us from
Hell's depth and despair
He died on the tree
For you and for me
So that both you and I
Could live eternally
He died on the tree
For you and for me
To say "Well done thy
Good and Faith servant
© Joey M., Spokane, WA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 14 comments.
Basketball23 SILVER said...
on Apr. 24 2011 at 8:14 pm
It was, but I liked it like that :D And it's a great thing to read on Easter. He has risen!!!
sherberteater GOLD said...
on Apr. 23 2011 at 7:20 pm
Hey, Thanks. I know it is very repetitious, but I thought it was necessary in order to get my message through to people.
Basketball23 SILVER said...
on Apr. 21 2011 at 2:50 pm
Despite what a lot of the other people think, I think the rhyme scheme and repetition enhances what you're trying to get at. I love it. And the meaning of it is absolutely beautiful! I LOVE THIS!!!!
sherberteater GOLD said...
on Nov. 18 2010 at 6:13 pm
I know you just wanted to help. You weren't being cruel. Thanks for wanting to help me. It means a lot to me. Hey, if you want, could you read my other works and tell me what you think of them.
dead said...
on Nov. 17 2010 at 10:05 pm
im glad i could help. i dont want to be cruel, i just want to help your writing style improve. :)
sherberteater GOLD said...
on Nov. 17 2010 at 7:34 pm
thanks for the advise. I will consider it.
dead said...
on Nov. 15 2010 at 4:26 pm
repitition can be good. but this is too much. it seems childish and simple. try to forget rhyme and repitition until you develop voice and advanced imagry. if you use these your work will sound more profetional.
sherberteater GOLD said...
on Oct. 4 2010 at 5:25 pm
Thanks Monica. ikr. I will try to keep it up. <3
sherberteater GOLD said...
on Oct. 4 2010 at 5:23 pm
Thanks, I thought it was rough, but thanks for the encouragement.
Hope_Princess BRONZE said...
on Oct. 2 2010 at 10:00 am
Awesome, Hannah! I love it. The rhyming is very fluid. Keep writing more!
distant_dreamer GOLD said...
on Oct. 2 2010 at 9:12 am
Hey Hannah, very nice poem! :)The message is very true and i'm so happy that it is on here! :) Keep it up! <3
13 articles 13 photos 199 comments
Favorite Quote:
"Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families."<br /> <br /> Thank God for friends like you!
Thanks. I will certainly look at your work.